Feature
V7e eouloM keep -them out of the race-)
but some o? us made sure they got a Late sfaet I
Inside the minority looking out is ‘tough and scary’
by Lyn Marie Thompson
Photo Editor
This is a story of what it’s like
to be on the inside of a minority
community looking out on the
majority. Most of the names have
been changed to protect the
privacy of all those involved.
“It is rather unfair to make
any kind of generalization about
gay people as a whole by inter
viewing a few people because we
are as diverse as any other culture
or subculture^” states Natalie, a
member of the gay and lesbian
support group here on campus.
How very right she is.
In interviewing four members
of the group, I found that
although there were similarities
between them, they each had run
into very individualized problems
as members of the homosexual
minority.
Natalie, age 29, and mother of
two, realized that she was a les
bian around the age of 13. At
that time, homosexuality was
considered a mental illness and
was treated accordingly. She
spent seven years of her life in
treatment for her “problem.”
“I pretty much blocked it out
of my mind and went about hav
ing babies and getting married at
16 and 17 years old. I followed all
the prescribed programs, and
failed each and every one of them
horribly and miserably until I,
finally was> able to come out
totally to myself.” Natalie now
lives a gay lifestyle with her eight
year old daughter and her
daughter’s “cd-parent.”
Natalie’s main problem in liv
ing a gay lifestyle is dealing with
her daughter’s school. “It’s hard
to make them understand about
her co-parent. She has the same,
and sometimes more authority
than I do. She has the same rights
and responsibilites as I do, as far
as I’m concerned. But when you
get into the legal aspect, she has
no legal leg to stand on. It’s hard
to make the school understand
that when they call my house and
get her, her answer is just as good
as if it had been mine. It’s hard
for them to accept, but they are
coming to accept that.”
When speaking of herself,
Natalie states, “I am not just a
lesbian. I’m a mother. I’m a
nurse. I’m a very good nurse. I’m
actually a very nice person.”
Due
to
his
religious
background, Dave, 39, has only
recently come to terms with his
being gay. He “came out” in
September, and through the sup
port group is learning to accept
his sexuality as a part of himself
and to “learn more about living a
gay lifestyle.”
Dave realized that he was gay
when he was around 18 years old,
“but I tried to change because I
was taught that it was wrong.
Sometimes I still struggle with
guilt feelings.”
Dave felt ashamed of his sex
uality until he talked to one of his
dosest friends in the religious
community who revealed that he,
himself was gay. “I just wanted
to talk to somebody about it. I
viewed it as a problem at the
time.”
Dave joined the group on cam
pus around the third week of its
existence. “It’s nice to know now
'...J don’t like playing
games. I don’t like
hiding. I hold back
because I don’t want to
be misunderstood."
that I have a few people to talk
to. I still find myself divided
within. Part of me is very
secretive. I’m afraid to be friend
ly with men. Sometimes I think,
‘Oh, they’ll get the wrong idea
and think I’m after them.’ It’s
very frustrating because I don’t
like playing games. I don’t like
hiding. I hold back because I
don’t
want
to
be
misunderstood.”
When discussing anti-gay at
titudes, Dave replies, “I can
understand ‘their’ point of view.
For years I thought that way. But
even during that time, I was
somewhat sympathetic for those
people, even though I knew that
it was wrong. I always felt like it
was one thing to believe it’s
wrong, but does that mean you
have to be down on people?”
For Mike, 30, the problem is
society’s stigma of publicly ex
pressing affection. “You don’t
show too many signs of public af
fection, which is something our
society allows for heterosexual
relationships. There are a lot of
times I see couples holding hands,
walking in the park and I think
‘Oh, I wish I could do that.’ I
guess it makes me jealous.”
“It’s hard to find somebody
else in the ‘straight’ society that
you can talk to about a problem
with your mate or lover,” says
Mike. “In the rap group, we’ve
got the framework of different
students and you can get their
views and ideas and they’re not
‘Oh no! You’re one of THOSE!’
They’ll talk to you instead of be
ing shocked by what you say.”
Meagan, who has realized
that she was a lesbian since she
was about six, “came out”
when she was 14. Now 21,
Meagan’s main problem in liv
ing a gay lifestyle is acceptance.
“It’s tough, and it’s scary.
There must be some support out
there somewhere, I just wish
they’d vocalize it a little bit.”
Even though she’s been
“out” for so long, her family
members have yet to fully ac
cept her sexuality. “They know
and they’re supportive, an
they’re not. They are becaus
I’m their child, but they sti
think that getting married an
having kids is the number on
priority. My mom and stepda
know and acknowledge it, bi
they don’t accept my lover a
much as they would a guy. M
father just ignores that part o
me entirely.”
Her desire for acceptance i
clear. “Overall I’d rather see I
large acceptance. People accepl
us as people. I don’t care if they,
really accept us as being gay qI
lesbians, but that we all arl
human beings and we do haul
rights. I’ve seen some thing
and heard some things on can
pus that have put dow
homosexuals because they’i
not ‘normal’ and that’s n<
true. They’re one of you an
one of me. They can b
anybody and everybody.”
Each of these people is vei
unique and separate from eat
other in some way. Natalie
final comment sums it up in
nutshell; “The only way yc
can really generalize us is by tl
sexuality, and that’s such
minute portion of our lives. An
yet, that is how society classifi
us immediately.”
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