Entertainment
HCE gains experience, plays CCC
by Marie Stoppelmoor
be leaving to attend Berkley
School of Music before the
“New wave doesn’t exist band’s February 1987 engage­
anymore and to me” says ment at Clackamas Community
Michael Jarmer, “punk is old.”' College.
Michael Jarmer (lead vocals/
The experience the band has
music/ percussion), Rene’ Jarmer gained in the last year has been in
(lyrics/drums), Steve Westerhout the business and politics of the
(bass), and Sean Moultrie (guitar) music industry. “It’s very com­
comprise the “experimental rock- petitive and you’re not always
n-roll” band Here Come Every­ competing against the best bands:
body.
there’s a lot of politics involved,”
The name (HCE) is a character Mike Jarmer contends.
from the James Joyce Novel
The metamorphis from Jarm-
“Finnegan’s Wake.” The char-- ers band Incognition to HCE
acter is a Dublin bartender who demonstrates a new insight.
falls asleep and dreams the
“We didn’t play dumpy places
history of the world.
for no money like we used to...
Since the debut of HCE at for the recognition” Mike ex­
Clackamas Community College plains. “It took Incognition two
last February, the band has gain­ years to make a tape, only three
ed experience and two new mem­ months for HCE.” The tape Ho­
bers.
ly Smokes is “not hotcake city
Steve Westerhout is a new but, it has potential.”
member, recently here from
The whole band is involved in
California and attending Lewis scouting gigs at clubs. They have
and Clark College. Sean Moul­ played at Key Largo, Starry
trie, on guitar, will unfortunately Night, Setyricon, and Last Hur­
Staff Writer
rah as the main attraction during
the week and as the opening act
on the weekends. Playing as the
main attraction on weekends are
important dates, but hard to get.
Jarmer hopes to get an important
date soon. “I understand, they
(club owners) are businessmen,
they make most of their money
on the weekends but...”
Husband-wife duo, Mike and
Rene, are the main influence in
the original music the band plays.
“I’m not political, I don’t know
politics,” Jarmer muses. “I’m
more of a people writer. You
know, how people try to
communicate, how T.V. kills
people (artistically speaking)...”
If you would like to hear
some experimental rock-n-roll
with a touch of the philisoph-
ical, Here Comes Everybody
will be appearing in the com­
munity center February 23,
1987.
Alcolonolators Anonymou
by Thad Kreisher
Entertainment Editor
Alcolonolate (al’ ke Ion o lat) v.
1. The act of caring for, watching
over, or otherwise baby sitting
one or more persons suffering
from alcoholic intoxication.
Language is a fascinating
thing. If there exists a concept or
thing for which no word yet ex­
ists, you can just invent on to fit.
That’s the beauty of a free socie­
ty. In the Constitution we are
guaranteed the right to freedom
of expression. I think that also in­
dudes the invention of new
words. So, this week I’m exercis­
ing my democratic muscle and in­
venting a new word long overdue
in present day society. Yes, al­
colonolate has been bom.
Many of us will have the
chance at one time or another to
alcolonolate. Whether this is by
choice or not is another matter.
As for myself, I have alcolono-
lated many times, and to my ex­
perience alcolonation is usually
an unexpected thing.
So, here’s a few things you
novice alcolonolators might find
razorblades and other sharp o
jects, anything resembling
cudgel, firearms, and anythi
that can spray or squirt (tubes
toothpaste, cans of shavi
cream, whipped cream, Eime
glue, dishsoap, ect. ect.). Tl
will eliminate needless blotx
tains and mess. Also helpful
this capacity (especially in t
case of the violent drunk), is
good stout stick. I have fou
that one of the oak variety woi
best. However, if one is not av<
able, a baseball bat or broomsti
will usually do.
Our next point is understs
ding. The alcolonolator v
often have to play psychiati
to a sobbing self-pityi
manically depressed drur
This drunk may very well b<
ble on incoherently for hou
sobbing all the while. Even
you don’t understand, pretc
you do. Remember also, wli
you see a human sobbing av
belly-aching, often abc
nothing, you may experiei
severe disgust or a strong ten
tation to laugh. Resist this at
costs, for it may turn
suicidal drunk into a
Grey
Matter
Pudding
by Thad Kreisher
Twelve Days Before
Christmas Sale
Everyday Something
Different
From 50% to ?% off
Come in and see
Sale Starts Dec 8th
Ends Dec 24th
Do Your
Christmas
College Bookstore Hours
Dec 12th
8a.m. - 5p.m.
Dec 15 th thru Dec 18 th
8a.m. - 8p.m.
Dec 19th thru Dec 24th
8a.m. - 5p.m.
Shopping
On
Campus
Happy Holidays from your friends at the college bookstore
helpful in undertaking a rousing
bout of alcolonolation.
First off you’ll need a good
supply of patience as those in
need of alocolonolation are us­
ually more than just intoxicated.
More than likely the drunk in
question will be blitzed to the
point of blood poisoning. These
people will do the strangest, most
obnoxious and annoying things
you can imagine. Try to remem­
ber, it’s the alcohol, not the per­
son and have patience. Being
“shitfaced” brings out the child
in all of us, and you may find
that alcolonolating more than
one drunk can be quite like
babysitting several hyperactive
disobedient 6-12 yr old children
with extremely foul mouths. Yes,
patience is a must.
Also helpful, but not necessary
is a personal experience with
alcoholic intoxication. This will
help you to empathize with the
drunk(s) in question as well as
giving you some sort of know­
ledge as what to expect. This br­
ings us to our next point, fore­
thought.
Some drunks have the tenden­
cy to become very suicidal,
violent, or mischievious during
intoxication. So, as a result of
this, it is usually helpful to have
enough forethought to hide all
drunk, and a violent drunk
worse by far.
Finally, it is most helpful
have a strong back. Those
need of alcolonolation have
tendency to fall down. Of
times they cannot get back
and may need assistance
varying degrees. Be preparec
physically carry the drunk t
safe resting place (couch, b
etc.)
On thè subject of puke
think I should say that that
purely personal subject. If
drunk in question happens
“blow chunks” in a spot
(she) shouldn’t have you h
several options. You can elea
up yourself or if you are
sadistic type, you can force
drunk to do it himself. Speak
from personal experience, t
particular option can be hell
the drunk and is a str<
psychological deterrent to ove
dulgence. Finally, if you h
animals (especially dogs), t
are not at all above cleaning
you. This is the methoc
employ most often as it
easiest for all parties invoh
and it is my personal opin
that they actually enjoy it.
Next week, the alcolonolate
guide to hangover remedies.
Clackamas Community