Monologue
Waxing nostalgic on the ELC
By D. Dietrich
Of The Print
It’s not unusual for people
to ignore or grow accustomed
to the extraordinary sights of
the world when their presence
is a daily occurance. For ex
ample are the natives of the
Oregon Coast who never
spend a day at the beach. Do
people in Arizona visit the
Grand Canyon? Most likely
they vacation at Niagra Falls.
When touring Yellowstone
Park I saw a rainbow of
license plates, the least number
bearing the stripes of Wyom
ing.
In a smaller way, I found
myself guilty of the same
hometown neglect. Nearing
the end of my second year at
Clackamas Community Col
lege, I had never stopped to
appreciate one of the College’s
oustanding features.The pro
blem was not that I was
unaware of its uniqueness and
the draw it had on many other
students. I had probably read
more about it than the majori
ty of students. But for some
reason, I’d never indulged
myself in a stroll through the
John Inskeep Environmental
Center.
Just by chance, I decided to
take the plunge in to the nestl
ed nature walk, while enroute
to more studious activities in
Clairmont Hall. I couldn’t
believe the amount of activity
that was all around. Not to
mention how much larger it is
than what appears form the
outside enclosure.
Community Corner
I’M OKAY, YOU’RE OKAY, HER I’M
NOT SO SURE ABOUT
Who was that running around campus Mon
day Afternoon in a mouse suit, anyway? My
reporter instincts got the best of me, so I ap
proached her. I only got as close as 35 feet
before she started to wave at me. “Must be a
relative of Mickey Mouse,” I said to myself. I
came closer to her, and all of a sudden the hor
ror of my situation struck me. No, I wasn’t
wearing bright orange-yellow pants, so I wasn’t
worried that she was going to mistake me for a
cheese wedge, and I have already had my yearly
bubonic plaugue immunization, so that wasn’t
what caused me such trauma. As I came closer I
realized that I had no idea what you are suppos
ed to say to a person (I think it was a person)
who is wearing a full mouse uniform. “How’s
it going?” didn’t seem appropriate. I thought
for a second there might be refuge in Weather
conversation, but what do I care what someone
dressed up as a mouse thinks about the
weather? The other frightening thing is when
you are close to a human-size mouse, everyone
who isn’t so close thinks that you are their
friend. Somehow that association didn’t stop
from getting right to the point: “Why are you
walking around this information mecca wear
ing a full-mouse uniform?,” I asked her. She
said that she was giving a speech about her job
in a class she was taking. “So where do you
work?,”I asked her. She said that she worked
for Organ Grinder Pizza. There was only one
more question to ask. “Are you now, or have
you ever been, romantically inclined with
Chuck E. Cheese?” She said she hadn’t, and
she was not now.
SO, WHAT’S GOING TO BE UP, DOC?
Perhaps a fitting end to this school year
would be to take a look in front of us and try
to predict what is going to happen. According
to The People’s Almanac, some of the top
newsmen did, and I have the results of their
Page 2
The next week, I visited the
ELC again. Upon spying a
rabbit playfully eating lunch, I
pointed the furry ball out to
three small children. I ex
pected to hear the same noises
that I made as a child upon
sighting anything remotely
cuddly. Instead of the ex
pected reaction, the children
looked at me with slightly less
than sheer boredom and
scampered off (to play video
games, I sullenly thought.)
Undaunted, I continued to
watch until the rabbit finished
eating and scurried off. As I
walked out of the ELC, I said
a small thanks to the people
who have put in their time, ef
fort and spirit to create this
soothing and refreshing spot
on campus.
By Fritz Wenzel
predictions. The number one story of the
foreseeable future is that Jesus Christ had
returned to Earth. I would haye to agree with
that one. Number two was that Advanced forms
of life had been found on another planet,
followed by a permanent peace coming to the
world, nuclear war leading to annihilation of
most peoples, and a new low-cost energy being
invented.
Some of the others that were mentioned were
a woman becoming President of the United
States, terrorists with a nuclear warhead mak
ing demands, factual proof that Shakespeare
did not write his plays, the capturing of the
Loch Ness Monster, and a complete cure for
cancer is found.
What about Clackamas Community College
and it’s greatest stories? here are a few of my
greatest headlines from CCC.
SCHOOL AGREES TO PAY STUDENTS
TO ATTEND CLASSES.
INSTRUCTORS TO PREPARE SALAD
PLATES FOR ALL CLASS MEETINGS
90,000 ATTEND FIRST CCC FOOTBALL
GAME IN CAMPUS’ NEW DOMED
STADIUM
YALE PRESIDENT LEAVES POST TO
FURTHUR EDUCATION AT CLACKAMAS
GOLF COURSE OPENS ON COLLEGE
GROUNDS, GREEN FEES FREE TO
STUDENTS
PRESIDENT REAGAN LOCATES
MEMORIAL LIBRARY AT CLACKAMAS
BITS AND PIECES:Did you know Neil Dia
mond and Barbara Streisand graduated from
the same high School? No wonder their duet
“You don’t bring me flowers anymore” sound
ed so well rehearsed.
HERE’S SOMETHING TO CHEW ON:
The United States consumes the third-highest
per capita amount of calories in the world? We
are still okay, though, because we aren’t even
among the top thirty in population density, so I
guess you could say we have room to grow.
ASG vs. Administra
tion:
Who calls the shots?
By Shelley Ball
Of The Print
An interesting question
was raised a few weeks ago
involving the governmental
powers of Clackamas Com
munity
College’s
Associated Student Govern
ment (ASG). It was a ques
tion that, unfortunately,
was never given a direct
answer.
The ASG had the chance
to invite Frank Stallone,
brother of actor Sylvester
Stallone, on campus to
speak but they ended up
declining the offer.
Although reasons such as
shortness of time and
unclearness of speech
material played a role in the
cancellation, a major force
behind the ASG’s action
was because interim Presi
dent Lyle Reese told ASG
President Daniel Hilts he
refused to allow the activity
to take place on Friday,
May 24.
Reese made this decision
because he was concerned
that Stallone might attract a
large crowd and raise the
need for extra security on
campus. Although the deci
sion to cancel Stallone
rested with the ASG, it is
clear that Reese had the
final say in the matter. Con
sidering the fact he was con
cerned about “the possibili
ty of disruption or threat”
to students resulting from a
large, emotionally charged
audience, I suppose most
people wouldn’t argue that
Reese was needlessly but
ting into the student
government’s affairs (ex
cept, perhaps, for some
members of the ASG).
Then again, there was ab
solutely no proof Stallone
would have caused a riot,
and as near as anyone can
tell, there is no policy ad
dressing the issue of the
ASG asking permission in
sponsoring activities. From
what I understand, the ASG
could have gone ahead and
held the event without
Reese’s permission. At
least, that’s what everybody
I talked with concerning the
matter, from Student Pro
grams Specialist Dave
Buckley to Reese himself,
said to me as I was gather
ing information to write a
story for The Print.
Just as that phone call
from Stallone’s PR person
caught the ASG off gaurd, I
suspect Reese, Buckley and
anyone else involved in the
issue were caught off gaurd
as well. It’s been said such
an issue (with these par
ticular circumstances in
volved) has never come up
on campus before,- so
perhaps that’s why there
was such a muddling of in
formation.
Then again, it would
have been interesting had
the ASG decided to go
against Reese’s wishes.
Perhaps if push had come
to shove, the question con
cerning the power of the
ASG would have been
answered directly and open
ly.
THE PRINT aims to be a fair and impartial journalistic medium covering
the campus community as thoroughly as possible. Opinions expressed in
THE PRINT do not necessarily reflect those of the College administra
tion, faculty, Associated Student Government or other members of THE
PRINT staff. THE PRINT is a weekly publication distributed each
Wednesday except for finals week. Clackamas Community College,
19600 S. Molalla Ave., Oregon City, Oregon 97045.
Office: Trailer B; telephone 657-8400, ext. 309
Editor In Chief: Fritz Wenzel
News Editor: Shelley Ball
Arts Editor: D. Dietrich
Sports Editor: Rodney Fobert
Copy Editor: Fritz Wenzel
Photo Editor: Joel Miller
Advertising Manager: Bill Fergusson
Staff Writers: J. Jason, Amy LaBare, Julie Miller
Staff Photographers: Jeff Meek, Dan Wheeler
Graphics Assistant: Han Tran
Typesetter: Jacque deWaal
Advisor: Dana Spielmann
X______________________________
Clackamas Community College