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Need a nuclear warhead?
Boycott of
Mail-order weapons cater
Coors brewery
this is not,
By J. Dana Haynes
worthy of support repeat: First not, off, a pro-gun-control
Arts Editor
or all-NRA-members-are-
crazy editorial.
Editor in Chief
Oh, I am in favor of gun
control, and although most of
Coors beer might taste good, but there are numerous
the gun-enthusiasts I know are
reasons why it doesn’t appear in Oregon grocery stores.
wild-eyed maniacs, the majori­
Mainly because Oregonians don’t want it.-
ty of National Rifle 'Associa­
The two biggest knocks against the brewing company are
tion
members are sane, honest
the fact that it isn’t pasteurized, and it is non-union. Push
citizens..
those two aside, and there are better reasons. Ones that spur­
No, this is an editorial
red a nation-wide boycott.
about the wonders of mail­
American Federation of Labor and Congress of In­
order weaponry.
dustrial Organizations (AFL-CIO) is the main group who
I have a friend at work
supports the boycott.
who
sells weaponry. He
Why is the boycott so active? Because comments such as
receives a trade publication
“Blacks lack intellectual capacity” made by Coors chairman
called Shotgun News, of which
and chief executive, William Coors, while addressing a group
I borrowed a few issues recent­
of Denver minority business-owners. Maybe a slip of the
ly. I expected to see adver­
tongue? Sorry! He continued to say, “one of the best things
tisements from people wishing
they (the slave traders) did for you is to drag your ancestors
to buy, sell or trade guns, and
over here in chains.” These quotes were two of several which
that
is what I found. Among
ran in a Feb. 24, 1984, Rocky Mountain News article.
other things.
The AFL-CIO is sending information on the Coors com­
Sure, there were literally
pany to college campuses across the nation.
thousands of handguns, rifles
According to the labor union, Coors pays students large
and shotguns for sale, enough
sums of money in order to persuade them to drink Coors. The
to keep a lynch mob the size of
AFL-CIO thinks students should know the facts behind the
the Mormon Tabernacle Choir
beer company before money takes them towards Coors.
happily blasting away for
The brewing company has already sponsored many
years. However, it was the
“chug-a-lug” parties and “get drunk” functions as well as
more...outre ads that caught
campus wet T-shirt contests.
my attention.
Their non-union activity is also harmful. Such practices
One of the first in­
as lie detector tests (which sometimes asks about employees’
teresting bits of ordnance
sex lives and preferences), search and seizure raids, forced
paraphernalia to catch my eye
physical exams and no seniority rights are common.
was a matching, black lace
These practices led to the brewery workers’ strike in
corset and garter belt with hid­
1977, but the conditions still persist.
den pistol holster and knife
The AFL-CIO also said that Joseph Coors, brewery ex­
sheath. Now this is truly an
ecutive, is being considered by President Reagan as a
unusual gift idea (I hope my
presidential advisor. Both agree on almost every issue and
wife, Peggy, isn’t reading this.
would destroy unions, collective bargaining, organizing
She has a birthday coming
rights, protection for elderly/handicapped/minorities, health
up).
and safety laws and the future education opportunities for
Another interesting seg­
our youth among other things, according to information pro­
ment of the newspaper was the
vided by AFL-CIO.
survivalist market. You know
While the rest of America boycotts Coors, Oregonians
what survivalists are, I trust?
can continue to deny the beer entry into our state. Coors
They
’re the guys with
business practices and attitudes are notorious. Do something
^for your country and state, don’t support Coors._____
J automatic weapons and
camouflaged leisure suits who
By Doug Vaughan
Letter to the editor
Voter absentee ballot use urged
To the Editor,
Voters should be aware
that it is possible to vote by
mail the old-fashioned way if,
for any reason, they are
unable to make it to the polls
on May 15th.
Oregon law is very lenient
in its requirements for voters
who need to vote by mail us­
ing the absentee ballot.
Oregon law says “any reason”
page!
is sufficient to apply for an
absentee ballot.
Voters should apply
directly to the County Clerk
by mailing their request now.
In Clackamas County the ad­
dress is County Clerk, County
Courthouse, ’ Oregon City,
97045. Although a simple let­
ter will suffice, absentee ballot
application forms are
available in your voters’pam­
phlet or from the County
Clerk.
In the last two months I
have met countless voters who
thought they might have to
miss this important election
because of their difficulties.
They were greatly relieved to
know that they could still vote
by mail the old-fashioned
way, with an absentee ballot.
Sincerely,
sit at home awaiting post-
holocaust, mutant rapists/
plunderers to swarm over their
land.
Paladin Press is a
publishing house with a fairly
unusual stock of books. One
for sale is called (as I live and
breath) “I Hate You,” by M.
Nelson Chunder (subtitled
“An Angry Man’s Guide xto-
Revenge”).
“Make fun where there is
none, and get your revenge at
the same time,” the advertis­
ing copy reads, “...over one
hundred sixty schemes show
how to strike out at those who
have done you dirty.”
Another book is entitled
simply “Up Yours,” with a
cover illustration of a human
hand making a symbol not
recognized by the American
Sign Language Council. This
book is touted as “All-new,
advanced revenge techniques
and original dirty tricks from
the author of ‘Get Even’.”
Amazing. Paladin Press
also sells such novelty items as
guides to building silencers in
your own home, how to obtain
false identification and a book
called “Secrets of the Ninja,”
which claims to teach one the
ancient art of “...invisibility,
covert entry, escape and eva­
sion, assassination, sentry
removal, meditation, mind
clouding and much more!”
Shotgun News also
handles lots and lots of ads for
people buying or selling
automatic weaponry, such as
Uzis and Tommy guns. Other
ads offer flame throwers (a
handy item, that, for those
times when the charcoal bri­
quettes just will not light), a
“wallet gun” that looks like
an ordinary wallet, and chip­
munk rifles (with a cartoon of
a cuddly, little chipmunk
holding a gun. An interesting
thought, all things consid­
ered).
Personally, I like the
more unusual killing devices
offered, including shiruken
(Oriental throwing stars), cane
swords, blow guns and belt
buckle knives.
One ad that intrigued
me—more for the syntax than
weaponry—was for the Matk
45 semi-automatic carbine
gun. The ad says “Hunter’s
brush gun. Plinker with a big
45 caliber plunk. Eight rounds
of prudence off the road. Qr
on the water.” Did you
understand any of that? If so,
seek professional help.
Non-weapon parapher­
nalia is also popular with
the machismo crowd. There
were two different ads for
men’s and women’s rings (you
may choose from either the
popular “Death’s Head” or
the “Death Sentence” design.
Simply devine,- that one. And
so you). I also liked the
T-shirt with the inscription
“Kill ’em All: Let GOD Sort
‘em Out.” .
However, my favorite of­
fer, far and away, was the one
for a nuclear warhead, sans
fissionable material. Yes, now
you can be the first on your
block to own an atomic bomb,
perhaps the ultimate conversa­
tion piece. But wait! There’s
more! (as they say on T.V.).
What I liked best about the ad
was the promise: “New! Never
Been Used!” Finding used
nuclear warheads is so tough
these days.
Yes, America is truly the
land of enchantment. Where
else on earth could one buy
arid sell whole arsenals to
perfect strangers? Of course, I
only borrowed the two issues
of Shotgun News to browse
through. I have no intention
of buying any of that stuff. I
am, after all, a pacifist.
(Note to Economics In­
structor Ed Mills. Gee, Mr.
Mills, I sure would like a good
grade on that last mid-term. If
you know what I mean.)
THE PRINT, a member of the Oregon Newspaper Publishers Association,
aims to be a fair and impartial journalistic medium covering the campus com­
munity as thoroughly as possible. Opinions expressed in THE PRINT do not
necessarily reflect those of the College administration, faculty, Associated
Student Government or other members of THE PRINT. THE PRINT is a
weekly publication distributed each Wednesday except for finals week.
Clackamas Community College, 19600 S. Molalla Avenue, Oregon City,
Oregon 97045.
...........................................
Dave McTeague
Clackamas Community College