Monologue
Idle Hands
By J. Dana Haynes
On the right to be comfortable .. .
\Ne’re living in a fairly enlightened era, or so I
would like to believe. However, there are still
pockets of medieval thinking around.
Not too long ago, I was at work arguing good-
naturedly with a friend. Stan and I want to have
these long-winded, pointless debates on the
various woes of society to keep us awake.
Unfortunately, this particular conversation
strayed into dangerous territory. I can’t remember
now how the topic came up, but somehow I got
around to mentioning the fact that I like to con
sider myself a minor-league gay rights activist.
As if I’d thrown a switch, Stan stopped his
reply in mid-syllable, smiled awkwardly, and ask
ed if I was kidding.
No, I said, of course not.
Stan shivered in disgust and explained to me
that that’s not right.
What’s not right?
Fagots, he replied, rather unceremoniously.
That got us rolling on a rather heated argu
ment. After several verbal thrusts and parries, I
asked Stan if he didn’t think that the Bill of Rights
inherent in the constitution of the United States
worked completely for everyone, or not at all for
anyone (I firmly believe that one of the above must
be true. Call it creative idealism).
Of course not, my friend replied, it doesn’t
work for prisoners.
Ah, touche. Indeed it does not. However, one
good definition of the word “criminal” is one who
interferes with the freedom of another, the punish
ment for which is strict curtailment of the
perpetrator’s freedoms.
Homosexuals don’t interfere with anyone’s
rights, just by being gay, do they?
Of course they do, Stan retorted. They in
terfere with my right to be comfortable.
It was at this point that I felt it was better to
go about my work, rather than say something that
we’d both regret later on.
The moral of this story? Beware of those who
assume non-existent rights. There is no such
thing as a right to be comfortable. In fact, in this
world of starvation, war, and the politics of expe
dient death, virtually no one should be too comfor
table. Satisfaction with reality is the prerogative
of the ignorant.
Opposition to gay rights is no more
justifiable than opposition to black rights, or
Jewish rights, or the rights of the lefthanded. And
yet, in this most enlightened country, bigotry is an
epidemic.
I used to believe that such warped thinking
had been wiped out, at least in this corner of this
nation. This isn’t the South, nor is it the 1930’s.
Prejudice still exists in small, easily controlled
quantities. But for the most part, our dear Oregon
is above all that.
Then, two years ago, a black family in
Milwaukie had a cross burnt on their lawn and
obscenities scratched into their car. And last year
(or maybe every year, for the press keeps hush
about such sickness) the Temple Beth Shalom in
Portland was desicrated with anti-semitic
slogans.
And everyday, the people I work with and go
to school with and live near talk about niggers.
And fags, and use anatomical references for
women that glare with perverse hostility.
The President talks about keeping our shores
inviolate, and proposes a multi-billion dollar
missile scenario. And older people talk about the
lack of morals in this society, and reminisce over
the good old days, when everyone’s door was
unlocked and no one doubted the virtues of the
government and blacks were lynched to relieve
tension.
Stan has been known to shake his head and
smile at my naivete. And I’ve been known to write
indignant, self-righteous editorials.
And yet I like Stan, and I’ve been known to tell
a pollack joke or two.
It makes you wonder who’s the enemy.
page 2
Intelligence not a factor
for firearm ownership
By T. Jeffries
One of the most emotional
issues facing this country today
is the pro and anti-handgun
debate. Unfortunately neither
side is willing to compromise
and both embrace extremes.
What pro-ownership pro
ponents must realize is that
there must be some regulation
to reduce the number of ac
cidental deaths within gun
owning households. Gun con
trol isn’t going to stop criminal
activities and murders,
criminals will always be able to
get guns.
What opponents have to
see is that it must stretch
beyond handguns. At this time
Oregon has a five day “cooling-
off” period before a handgun
can be picked up by the buyer.
In this time the proper forms
are sent to local law enforce
ment agencies to verify the
identity and record of the pur
chaser. This is a very good
system, even though it’s
frustrating for the buyer who,
after purchasing the gun, must
wait the additional time.
However, there is no such
regulation concerning rifles or
shotguns. Let’s be reasonable
folks, the reason it’s a “han-
dgun” is because way back in
history the traditional long arm
was shortened to make an
easy-to-carry hand weapon.
Quite frankly, the only dif
ference between a rifle or
shotgun and a handgun is fif
teen minutes and- a hacksaw.
And it’s a simple fact that a pro
perly cut down 20 gauge is
much more effective than a .38
revolver and just as easy to
conceal.
Now, I’m not advocating
that a cooling-off period be in
stituted for long arms as well.
Nor am I calling for the aboli
tion of the handgun waiting
period, but there must be some
regulation to protect gun
owners and their family, friends
and neighbors from accidental
injury or death. A .30-06 bullet
(the second most popular hun
ting round in the world) will
travel through several walls and
still retain enough velocity to
penetrate, and exit from, the
human skull.
What we need is an in
telligence test. Discriminatory
you say? Not at all. I’m not talk
ing about the literacy tests that
were used to keep blacks from
voting in the deep south, but a
simple test designed to show
that a person has enough sense
and knowledege of firearm
safety to own a gun. We
already have one for
automobiles. Sure, we call it a
driver’s test, but it’s simply a
test to insure that no person is
allowed to drive who is not
mentally capable of it. Anyone
who can learn and pass the test
is allowed a license.
An
" example is the
retarded man who was shot
and killed by a policeman. He
had been pointing his new
shotgun at passersby, and
when the policeman ordered
him to drop it, had turned it on
him. The weapon proved to be
unloaded. The fault lies not
with the gun, or the policeman,
or the man himself. It lies with a
society that allows an obviously
incompetent person to pur
chase a dangerous weapon.
Why then should there not
be a test on basic firearm safety
that every person must pass
before they are allowed to pur
chase a gun? It could be a one
time shot, with that person
receiving a certificate or card
that they can then show, when
they wish to buy a gun.
Rock group Journey sells out
By Vicki Archila
Of The Print
Being from the San Fran
cisco Bay area, it is not with
pride when I say Journey is a
local bay area act that sky
rocketed to fame a couple of
years back.
When Journey first started
out, they were a good rock
band. A four member quartet,
they cut three albums,
“Journey,” “Look Into The
Future,” and “Journey Next.”
That’s when things went
downhill (or uphill, however
you may look at it). Out goes
Aynsley Dunbar (who quit to
go with the Jefferson Starship),
replaced by Steve Smith, and
in comes Steve Perry. The
music changed from slightly
heavy metal, good listening
rock, to wimpy commercial
muzak, with Perry’s sometimes
winey vocals. In better terms,
wimp rock. Journey “sells
out.”
Okay, Okay, I know quite
a few people like this music.
Can’t argue with the Billboard
charts, but I for one don’t
agree, though this is only my
opinion. Also, given the same
opportunity, I’d probably do
the same thing. Let’s face it—
Dignity or Big Bucks. I’ll take
the money. Anyone who
screams sell-out probably
would do so too. So, it doesn’t
come as any surprise when I
say my favorite saying for this
year is “I didn’t sell out—I just
bought in.”
But in this case, come on.
Enough is enough. They didn’t
just buy in, they went and did
the ultimate, unjust to rock and
roll. They SOLD OUT!
Early next year, those
Superstar Rockers (?) are going
video. You may say,
“everyone is doing videos, why
knock Journey?” It’s not video
tapes I’m knocking. I love
MTV. What I am knocking is
these wimps have actually gone
and made a video game of
themselves. The name of this
game will be 11 Journey
Escape.” Give me a break!
To quote from advertising
copy “Out on the road with
America’s hottest rock ‘n’ roll
group (sic), it is your job to
safely guide the five Journey
band members through the
continuous onslaught of
groupies,
promoters,
photographers and more.”
(Gawwd) Once you have
securely guided the band
members into the “Escape”
vehicle, the game blares out
Journey’s smash hit “Don’t
Stop Believin.” The dealer pro
paganda also reads “But there
will be nothing in your way as
you rock and roll to your big
gest video game profits ever.”
Campbell’s Data Age will
be manufacturing this game.
The ad campaign will be a
mere $4.5 million, and will
coincide with the band’s next
album “Encounter.”
Sell out ... or just bought
in? Hey boys, what’s next. A
Steven Perry doll, maybe?
Ya say yer tired of yer government?
Ya say yer taxes are unfair?
Ya say yer quality of life is the pits?
Tell ya what we’re gonna do!
Send us a letter care of The Print, Trailer B.
We will print any letter that is signed
and not obscure or libelous.
Deadlines are Monday at noon.
. Limit of topics non-existent.
Clackamas Community College