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Oregonprimary elections
on eruptive anniversary
Is it a concidence, or an omen of
things to come?
Yesterday, the day of the Oregon
Primaries was the second anniversary of
Mt. St. Helens big burst. The day that
Oregonians go out and cast their vote on
many of the people who will be shaping
the future in this state, is the unfortunate
ly, memorable May 18.
At least for the newly formed Fifth
Congressional District, it has been a fairly
heated battle between the Democratic
candidates. This could have been true for
the Republican race, but Denny Smith has
been the sole Republican candidate.
A majority of the Democratic congres
sional candidates have joined in a “foot
race.” Each uses a pedimeter to find out
who walks the most miles from door to
door campaigning. A couple of the can-.
didates have been going by the number of
shoes they wear out.
Volcanic eruption or not, the voting
took place yesterday around the state. So
as time rolls around to the November
general elections, perhaps we’ll find out
whether the date of the primaries was just
a concidence or an omen.
Or perhaps the date was an omen for
the community colleges who had levies on
the ballot.
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Plan viable solution
to nuclear arms race
The government of the US
has been besieged by a nation
wide movement to freeze all
building and deployment of
nuclear weapons, in a appeal
for peace to' the Soviet Union.
J. Dana Haynes
Naturally, the federal gov6m-
ment has been wary of these
ideas. In the past, the Soviet
Union has shown us all reason to suggested that both the US and
doubt their word.
the USSR surrender their
Also, the USSR is none
nuclear weapons, one at a
too crazy about a freeze, or
time, to be converted into fuel
SALT program. The problem
for electric power plants.
that bedevils both sides is sim
The plan is really quite
ple: They don’t trust us, and
simple. Both countries would
we don’t trust them.
surrender one nuclear weapon
Retired Adm. Noel
apiece to a nuclear country,
Gayler, the former Commander
such as Switzerland (which
of US forces in the Pacific, has
holds allegiance to neither
suggested a viable alternative
superpower) or Canada
to Carter’s SALT and Reagan’s
(whose government is influenc
START treaties. Gaylor has
ed by both).
Readers write
Barlow Hall
deteriorates
To the Editor:
The quality of life is
deteriorating in Barlow Hall.
After three years of residence
here I had begun to feel com
fortable in the surroundings
and the place actually felt like a
community college. The at
mosphere was pleasant, the
surroundings clean and the of
fice area quiet, but pleasantly
punctuated with occasional
banter and intelligent discus
sions. There was a large
beautiful plant by the windows
and a display rack for program
brochures stood outside Lee
Turpin’s office. But the peace,
the plant, and the display rack
have all been broken and are
gone. Welcome to Barlow Day
Care Center.
Now in my fourth year of
teaching at CCCI have noticed
a change. The atmosphere is
still often pleasant, but is now
occasionally shattered by
raucous wailings from high-
powered ghetto blasters.
Screams and cries reverberate
down the, halls. The quality of
life has taken a downward turn
in Barlow Hall.
As the fall term of 1981
began it didn’t take a talented
observer to notice that a new
creature had seized a niche in
Barlow and was beginning to
exercise a most obstreperous
control over that area. This
new creature seems to be com
posed of two genders often in-
THE PRINT, a member of the Oregon Newspaper Publishers
Association, alms to be a fair and impartial journalistic medium
covering the campus community as thoroughly as possible. Opi
nions expressed In THE PRINT do not necessarily reflect those of
the College administration, faculty, Associated Student Govern
ment or other members of THE PRINT.
office: Trallor B; telephone: 657-8400, ext. 309 or 310
editor: Rick Obritschkewitsch
news editor: J. Dana Haynes; arts editor: Kristi Blackman
sports editor: Tracy Sumner
photo editor: Duane Hlersche; copy editor: Mike Rose
staff writers: Laura Henkes, Alison Hull,
Thomas A. Rhodes, Darla J. Weinberger
staff photographers: Mike Cato, Duffy Coffman
cartoonist: J. Dana Haynes
business manager: Joan Seely
advertislng/sales: Angle Rogantine
typesetter: Pennle Keefer;
advisor: Dana Spielmann
distinguishable from each
other. The male of the species
closely resembles a human and
often elicits sounds reminiscent
of the English language.
Sprinkled liberally among these
sounds are many primitive ut
terances made popular by such
beings as George Carlin and
Richard Pryor. These pointed
words and phrases regularly
pollute the atmosphere in the
second floor halls of Barlow.
The males of the species seem
to relish these phrases but it
seems accepted that the female
upon occasion emit cries
similar to those mentioned.
These often bring about a feel
ing of belonging to the core
group and those in the group
that can spurt forth the loudest
and longest strings of sounds
possessing the most K’s seem
to garner the most praise and
admiration.
It is thought by some unin
formed passers-by that their
diet is composed mostly of
marijuana, hashish, cocaine,
speed and various other phar
maceuticals. But this is not
true. Said creatures have often
been observed partaking of ef
fervescent beverages and
Cheetos. Many also display an
incessant chewing and grinding
motion of the jaws reminiscent
of our bovine brethren. They
also seem to derive some
benefit, be it nutritional or
psychological, from thin white
sticks that smolder and bum.
Their area of habitation is often
filled with a thick pall of smoke.
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At the meeting point, an
international team, consisting
of Russians, Americans and
representatives from the
neutral country, would tally the
count and identify each
weapon. Then, the nuclear
material within each bomb
would be removed, to then be
used as fuel for the world’s
nuclear power plants.
This is a plan that is
workable. Unlike other treaties
and suggestions, Adm.
They are attracted io stairs
where they lounge and sprawl.
These stairs then become vir
tually impassable to humans
and motions must be made by
the walker to allow passage, for
the sprawling creatures do not
seem to understand English. If
they do it is many times greeted
with grunts and groans filled
with K’s.
As the day progresses the
nesting area becomes increas
ingly fouled with hundreds of
the brown ends of the thin
white sticks and mounds of
ashes. Cellophane wrappers,
foil packaging, paper cups,
napkins, puddles of orange
and brown effervescent liquids,
water, muddy footprints and
various other forms of detritus
common to their species can be
found at day’s end when they
depart.
Rumor has it that their
principal activities here at the
College are educational but
close observation would in
dicate otherwise. Games seem
to be popular. A game recently
observed between opposite
sexes appears to be nothing
more than ¿a water fight in
which cups are filled at a water
cooler and then dashed at each
other amid screams and cries.
The trick is to fabricate the most
believable excuse when an
adult human finds the mess.
The best performances occur
when both male and female tell
the human how each was
viciously attacked by the other.
At day’s end the custodial
Page 2
V&j
Gayler’s plan wouldn’t depend
on Russian scientists inspecting
American military sites, or vice
versa. Also, the SALT and
START treaties both suffered
from the problem of what to do
with the weapons that each
side deactivated.
This is a plan that is viable
and y/ould be considerate of all
parties; the Russians, the US
government and the US
citizens who are rightly scared.
personnel will happen upon
another choice spot for an ar
chaeological dig. And dig they
must.
I guess I find it a strange
paradox that these creatures
(hereafter referred to as
children) have managed to
enter a program designed to of
fer them a high school diploma
at an institution of higher learn
ing such as COC. Their peers
still in high school must stick it
out and wade through the
ponderous public school
system without benefit of
special programs.
These children are given
the privilege of completing their
secondary education at a col
lege and seem intent on
creating an adverse at
mosphere.
They as guests are fouling
our environment. They are
oblivious to the privilege that
has been afforded them. My
comer of the College has been
rapidly transformed into a day
care center. I no longer feel like
I teach at a college. It is not as
pleasant to come to work any
more.
Label me a grump, a
scrooge, a square, a com-
plainer, an intolerant toad. Call
me what you will. But I know
one thing. My work environ
ment is being polluted and the
quality of life is deteriorating in
Barlow Hall.
Terence M. Shumaker
Instructor,
Drafting Technology
Clackamas Community College
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