Returning student
dismayed over
course selection
BpR.W. Greene
Oflhe Print
II took a Year Off from
HBol, to get into the Real
The year turned into
^■the world has proved itself
to ft terrifyingly real; the eyrie
^■cademia seems as warm
^■as cozy as a cave.
■t if the prospect of a
^■larly nine-to-three seems
only occasionally nerve-
^■ng, it is far overshadowed
ay the intimidations of the Col-
■ Catalog. One part of me
wants to take everything from
AGB3 Swine Production to HE
199 Wellness Workshop to
SP111 Fundamentals of
Speech Communication;
another part views all this as so
mu|h spurious, if tasty, parrot
fool; another part says listen to
you# mother and take Auto
Body
^Hushing up on my One-
Way Audio-Visual Com-
muaication late one night, I
wondered where all the real
courses have gone:
PS191
Ornamental
^Khology
^Ke study of the superficial
in human personality. The em-
phasis is on Facades, Masks,
Phpniness, Useless Verbiage
ana Social Laughter. Extensive
wowshops in Implied Concern,
Welkend Love, Pretended
Sympathy and Cliches.
Students of senior standing will
participate in work labs at
fashionable nightclubs, rock
conceits, political functions,
and ir bed. Required for Psch.
maibn
PH104
Philosophic
I^Hpulation
The
application
of
philosophy as related to real
lifeB Rationalization, idea-
distorti n and ignorance are
emphasized. Recommended,
but not required, for journalism
majors.
EE201 Divine Wiring
The electrical processes of
the Godhead, and of its
disciples. An examination of
the basic electrical materials
needed for Nirvana, and the
impossibility of finding strong
enough cable. The second half
of the course will consist of an
electrical examination of
religious fanatics, from the
fused-terminal nine-volt
Eveready of Herbert Arm
strong, to the charcoal circuits
of the Ayatollah Khomeini.
opinion
Public Opinion Survey
Scientific Creationism
SCIENTIFIC CREATIONISM is an alternative form of teaching world evolution
that proposes creation and evolution by a divine being--but gives no religious
instruction.
1) Do you think scientific creationism should be taught in Oregon public
schools?
2) Is scientific creationism a violation of the amendment separating church and
state? Why or why not?
3) If scientific creationism is labeled unconstitutional, do you believe that label
ing it so is, in itself, unconstitutional, due to the government closing off any
other teaching possibilities than Darwin’s theory of evolution? Why or why not?
SP342 Hectoring-I
The art of verbal intimida
tion, bullying and humiliation.
Emotional, rather than intellec
tual, verbalizing will be em
phasized. Insult Technique is
included in the course, along
with Effective Demagoguery
and Absurdist Economic
Jargon. Recommended for
Political Science and Labor
Relations majors.
Return answers to The Print envelopes throughout the campus or take them
to Trailer B.
course; all credit hours will be
earned in intensive one-on-
and
SO301 Modern Cultural one, two-on-two,
polygamous relationships. Ma
Technique
Using Popular Culture for jors must present, on comple
fun and profit. The identifica tion of the course, a three-
tion of trends, social one- month project (with working
upmanship, fashion merchan models) on the subject of
dising, crotch-enlargement Ecstasy. Teacher participation
(men only), chest enlargement is stressed. Administrative, too.
(women only), and Disco as FM121 Cocktailing and
Ethics, are only a few of the Stewardessing: The Female
subjects studied in this ever- as Diet Soft Drink
Femininity as presented in
popular course. The course-
year is divided into three sub the context of the Surgical
jects: Beauty as Weaponry in Smile. The basic of Triteness,
the fall, Fashionable Pro Vacuousness and Mascara are
letarian Trends in the Winter, presented, with an analysis of
and Drug Social Psychology in modern American marketing
styles and the technique of
the spring.
Freezing the Soul. Though
MM103 Applied Libido
The Libido in intensive previous years have centered
workshop. There will be vir on the Sanctity of Marriage,
tually no class time in the this year will re-emphasize the
basics of Baby-Making. Also increase their input. Beer will be
recommended for Male Myth comprehended every class
majors.
night, and precepts of taste,
EC201 Introduction to body, carbonation, and mirth
Fraud
making will be broken down
Shoplifting through Armed and obliterated. Subtleties of
Robbery, a must course for any human interaction will be
Phys. Ed. major who wishes to derided and rejected. Toasts
coach on the West Coast. will be made to the most
FBI/Mobster Differentiation is unseemly of causes. Senior
an aspect of the course this students will, participate in a
year, along with Non-Existent field-trip to major Northwest
Universities, but emphasis is on breweries in the back of the
student demonstration of Schludwilier truck. Çod may
material learned. Offspring of I reveal himself.
bankers, auto-lot dealers, and MU101 Introduction to
rock magazine editors are urg Music
ed to take EC112, Creative
The study of popular music
Fraud and EC 119 Idealism from 1973 to the present.
Theft.
(Upper-Division courses will
AL54 Beer
deal with the finer deliniations
A community course for of this time-frame). There will
those not satisfied with normal be studies of Media Manipula-
beercomprehensionand wish to 'tion
Electronic games erode communiqué^
By R.W. Greene
Of The Print
My father used to call it the perfect babysitter. He
used it to be able to set me in front of it when I was
five or six, assured in the knowledge that I would be
held enthralled, mouth agape and limbs immobile,
while he ran errands. Out of mind, out of trouble.
The technology of TV has come a long way since
then, but the effects haven't, I went to a club once to
see a band. After a couple of hours, I became aware
of a persistent beeping from somewhere close. I
looked around and saw two young men passing one
of those electronic football games back and forth
under the table, and under the gazes of their
apathetic-looking dates. The club was hot and
crowded, and the band flailed away at us with some
vigor, but the two were oblivious to everything but
the box and the buttons. I remember thinking that it
was one of the rudest things I’d ever seen.
You can't dispute the new fad's versatility. A friend
of mine recently bought Mattel’s Intellevion-a
marvelous little deal which lets us play NBA basket
ball complete with handshakes between opposing
centers, and poker complete with a dealer who shifts
his eyes, and sneakily deals himself first.
As innocent and as invigorating as a fierce battle
with a bunch of dots may be, it still stands on an
ethical level with cleaning out your car's ashtray with
Ajax-at the most, it doesn't hurt anybody else.
Two effects of the new syndrome become obvious
fairly soon. One is the overwhelming absorption
these games have on you. You can experience this by
watching someone play Asteroids for 15 minutes—
you come away with eyes glazed in chrome. A bus
schedule becomes an intellectual minefield.
The other is the murderous effect these games
have on human interaction. I have seen an entire
roomful of people silenced by one of those football
games passed back and forth-battered into
muteness by the persistent, grating beeps, and the
hoots of the participants.
It is the latter that bothers me the most. It is the
power to communicate with each other that makes
human beings unique. We may not do it efficiently,
or with the best intentions, or even thoughtfully, but
we do it, and the more practice we get at it, the bet
ter off all of us will be.
______ £--------------- —
Wednesday, January 28, 1981
Page 3