opinion
With a bat
Beating the post
Christmas blues
By Mike Rose
about brutal murder. Be pa
Mobs of people with a crazed tient, you tell yourself. She'
look in their eyes. Blaring at the just a sweet old lady. It’s vet
decimal of a 747, “Silver possible that she’ll kick o
Bells,” “Silent Night” and before this time next year. A
“Frosty the Snowman .Had a you can do is hope.
At dinner you can expect th
Very Shiny Nose” or whatever.
Kids bawling and shoppers usual holiday fare, compress®
swearing. Shell-shocked store sawdust fruitcakes with epox
clerks trying to be pleasant. fruit. Pumpkih pie that’s actual
“Merry Christmas,” they say ly made from squash. (
through tightly clenched teeth. course, there’s turkey; and o
It’s sort of like stuffing a tihy course there will be turkey lef
cage full of rats.
tovers for days: turkey soup
Christmas shopping, just one turkey salad, turkey casserole
of the joys of the holiday turkey tacos, turkey surprise
season. Alas, it’s all over. The The list is endless am
relatives have left and, with revolting.
some luck, won’t be back until
Look what the tide wash®
next year. Gifts have been up. My favorite*, Cann®
returned for cash. Maybe you cranberry sauce, the kind tha
broke even in terms of die doesn’t have any wholi
money you coughed up for cranberries at all. It slides on
gifts: The odds are, you didn’t
of the can in a big glop am
You’ll need the money for quivers like" a salted slug. In
some new car floor-mats. The cidentally, this type o
inside of the car has had a sour cranberry sauce was spawn®
stink ever since New Year’s’ from early genetic experiment
Eve. No amount of washing with sewage sludge. It
| and scrubbing can completely originally intended to be us®
get rid of the lovely aroma of against the Germans am
clam dip, beer and vomit. Japanese during World War II
Drinking and driving don’t mix. Today, most of it is bred in ai
Another nauseous matter is abandoned salt mine in Uta!
the. annual invasion of obnox and is gathered by lobotomized
ious relatives. Aunt Lenore tells criminals.
the funny story that she tells
Taking down the Christmas
jected to “a brainwashing pro every year. The one about how tree and tossing it in the trash
cess” and chooses to illustrate she caught you and so and so can be a sad occasion. Havi
her erroneous claim by describ behind the garage having a you ever tried burning it? Wai
ing some type of event where pissing contest when you were until the tree is good and dry
thousands chant “Yes, We 8 years old. .Everyone has a and then touch a match to it
Believe” or “Amway or No good laugh. Even your Poof! It’s great; It’s like havira
Way.” During my career with girlfriend. You fondle the July fourth early! The kids will
Amway, I have seen many fireplace poker and fantasize love it.
distributor events (including
Feedback«»**
some attended by thousands of
dependents rallied to my sup
persons) but not once have I
port.
heard anyone using the chants Thanks to all
Meeting the* thousands ol
Prouty refers to so confidently.
This writer’s false vision of To the Editor:
people in our County, anc
I wish to extend my sincere especially at your College;
what Amway is and does
climaxes with the outrageous thanks to the students of has provided me not onl|
falsehood that “Amway people Clackamas Community Col with more insight and I
have a CULT that tears people lege for your efforts on my greater understanding of the
away from their family and behalf in the campaign for problems you face, but alsc
friends who can’t ‘See the -Clackamas Cdunty Commis- with a personal dedication to
Light’ of ‘Amway or No Way’.” sioner.
Republicans, the future.
Nearly 75. percent of all Am Democrats,
and
In- Bev Henderson
way distributors are operated
by husband and wife partner
ships. Most of these involve the
family’s children actively as
well. Anyone familiar at all
with Amway could list many
THE PRINT, a member of the Oregon Newspaper Publishers Associa
cases where parents, children,
tion, alms to be a fair and impartial journalistic medium covering the
grandparents and even aunts
. campus community as thoroughly as possible. Opinions expressed in
and uncles all operate their
THE PRINT do not necessarily reflect those of the College administra
own independent Amway
tion, faculty, Associated Student Government or other staff members of
THE PRINT.
distributorships.
My letter would run far too
office: Trailer B; telephone: 657-8400, ext. 309 or 310
long if I were to cover in detail
editor: Thomas A. Rhodes
each error of fact and percep
assignment editor: Matt Johnson; news editor: J. Dana Haynes
tion that appears in Prouty’s ar
arts editor: R.W. Greene; feature editor: Steve Lee
sports editor: Rick Obritschkewitsch
ticle. This covers only some of
photo editor: Duffy Coffman
the most glaring distortions that
staff writers: Linda Cabrera, Edward M. Coyne, Amy DeVour,
were printed in your
Tamara Isackson, Tom Jeffries, Mike Rose, Susy Ryan
newspaper.
staff photographers: Brenda Feltman, Ramona Isackson, Sue Hanneman
Sincerely,
typesetter: Kathy Walmsley; graphics: Lynn Griffith
Of The Print
feedback——-—
Amway editorial a sham
To the Editor:
An opinion column in your
November 19, 1980, edition
contained numerous entirely
false comments about Amway
Corporation.
Since I have no idea how to
contact directly the person us
ing the byline of Karen Prouty,
I am asking you to correct the
many errors she made.
Perhaps printing my letter
would be the-simplest way to
set the record straight for your
readers.
First, there is no requirement
in Amway that any of the more
than 750,000 independent
distributors of our products
purchase any specified amount
of inventory at any time. Prou
ty’s claim that “You wind up
with a contract you signed as a
newcomer in the business that
obligates you to sell $100
worth of products that you
can’t possibly fulfill without tak
ing the money from your own
pocket, because if you don’t
fulfill the contract, your
business, the people working
under you, and your profit—all
go to that friend of your (sic)
who showed you the business”
is an example of totally distor
ting the facts. Actually, the
penalties Prouty, cites áre ap
plied against sponsoring
distributors who violate either
of two very specific Amway
rules against overloading those
they sponsor with inventory
they cannot sell. To prevent
such “inventory overloading,”
Page 2
Amway requires the sponsor
ing distributor to buy back any
unused, marketable products
or literature remaining when a
distributor leaves the business.
If a sponsor fails to repurchase
such materials, he or she can
be subject to the penalties Pro
uty listed. The rules also specify
clearly that if no sponsoring
distributor will repurchase such
leftover inventory, Amway
Corporation itself will do so. In
fact, the corporation provides
and fulfills an absolute money-
back guarantee on any of the
more then 300 Amway pro
ducts plus more than 2,000
brand-name goods sold
through our Personal Shoppers
Catalog Service.
Second, the initial invest
ment buys far more than that
Prouty described only as “a
lousy blank chalkboard, a cou
ple of pieces of fancy chalk,
and an empty notebook.” In
fact, the Amway Sales Kit.
(which sells for about $20) con
tains all the product literature,
forms and information needed
to start your own Amway
business. An optional Product
Kit offers ten of Amway’s most
popular items which are easily
demonstrated and sold.
Third, Amway simply does
not “seduce newcomers into
the business” or try “Exploiting,
among other things, Christiani
ty and a Positive Attitude.”
The writer also contends Casey Wondergem
falsely
that
somehow Corporate Public Relations
newcomers to Amway are sub- Officer
staff
cartoonist: J. Dana Haynes
advertising and business: Dan Champie
adviser: Suzie Boss
Clackamas Community College