Student parents
break tradition
of móm at home
‘You’re thinking too much
fout yourself, why don’t you
iy at home with your children
Ire often?”
To many . young parents
Broiled in some form of
Ration, statements like the
le above, spoken by relatives
pr [friends, may continue to
Tint them. At times, a small
Bel of guilt will result.
■But some women . at the
Jilege are helping to explode
he myth that being a mother
Bans caring for your child
from birth to high school
■duation. The reality for
By of these women is that
■nomics will not allow them
to play the traditional role of
■ther, and expect to make
ms meet.
a direct correlation between the
amount of time spent with the
child and the child’s growth. A
majority of the women argued
this point. One mother felt that
quality time is just as valuable
as an abundance of the same.
“During the time I’m with the
children, I work to play and
interact with them, and more
importantly, guide them in safe
and unsafe situations,” she
said.
The student-grandmother
works on appealing to formal
manners. “I find that I get a lot
more from the child in this
way,” she said.
The consensus of the entire
group of women was that too
much time is just as bad as no
time at all . Three found that
?* 'V
■hat is being a ‘total’ mother? Does it
mean applying the total day,
or... ‘making the home the center of
®urexistence,?M
the extended time of the
‘Home’
situation
caused
boredom for them. One said, “I
found that I would get
frustrated and begin to take out
my aggression in the wrong
way.”
Another woman,
Janet
Where do these women
Hers, a sophomore at the
■ege, is a divorced mother keep their children while atten
ding school? For two, sitters
■ one little girl. Her opinion
and day care centers do not
■it would absolutely be great
apply. One student takes care
If 1 could be a total mother to ,
R but circumstance won’t of her young grandchildren
and another, Russ, depends
^■it.”
upon her husband to care for
■hat is being a “total” the children while away.
Her? Does it mean applying
Finding a sitter. can often
■ total day, or, as one result in hassles. Discovering
■ent-mother put it, “making one that fits a person’s own
■home the center of your
Hnce?”
ILeru Bevns, who has two
■ren, one seven years, the
■er three, said, “the image of
self is much better since I
■an school. I found that
lying at home all day did get
idea of a good sitter can be a
febe a dredge. 1 remember the
tedious task. Bowers looked for
■when 1 herd eight hours to
two years before she found the
Rn house. Now I have one
right one. To her it meant “a
K, and I get more accom-
sitter that I could trust in, and
Kd.”
know that she wiill raise my
Bowers, who stayed at home
girl the way I would.”
¡the first six months after her
Baby's birth before beginning
For
the
student
I her college education, found grandmother, there’s a definite
¡that “my child’s needs were dif- preference to a relative as a sit
Iferent She doesn’t always ter. “A relative is usually more
want to be with me. She’s very reliable and less expensive. In
■oing little girl—her growth my case, taking care of a six
■ns more to me than being and 11 year old, five to eight
with me all the time. She really hours, four days a week, it
Bds to socialize with others,” should almost be a requirement
■said.
that the children receive the
same kind of love and security
■Carolyn Russ, mother of two
given to them in their earlier
Bren, one 15 months and
Ether almost three, has the years,” she said.
i The guilt complex for one
Hen, who has spent a good
Hof time as both a mother
■grandmother, is “impor-
■ to not sustain. It interferes
■your studies.”
■¿v. t
Mother and child spend time together getting to know each other.
Story and photo by Kelly Laughlin
not be provided by a sitter
because they don’t have very
much teaching ibackground.” '
The grandmother-sitter said,
“My two grandchildren are a
boy and a girl--rivals--this
means that I often have to play
referee, and can’t concentrate
on what I’m doing.”
How do the children feel
about the situation? Many are
too young to make a response.
For them it’s perfectly natural.
Whatever the circumstan
All of the parents agreed that
ce,mixing studies and sitting
it’s important that the child be
rarely works. “I usually try to
fulfilled by more people than
get as far away from the
children as possible while
studying,” one mother said. “I
love them very dearly, but
there’s a time and a place for
“Being a student and a mother almost
forces you to plan out your time effec
tively.”
[help of her husband in raising
Bieir children. “Dad watches
Jthem while I’m not here,” she
I said. “He helps a lot in caring
forthem while I am at school.”
■Quantity and quality time are
^/o factors that concern some
Hptics of contemporary
“anting. A good number see
Inesday, Nov.
Day care is available at the
College from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m.
every weekday. For most
single parents it’s the most con
venient type of care. One
parent said, “I know that my
child is going to get a good
education while I’m not
around. Many times this can-
-
*
just immediate parents and
relatives. “My four-year-old
thinks it’s really great. She goes
to school now, and feels very
grown up since I’m going to
school like her,” one parent
said.
The problem, according to
the women, is rarely getting the
child to accept the parent as
both student and mother. More
often than not, the problem is
helping the child understand
that it’s time for mother to
study. A few of the mothers
find it helpful to study after the
child is asleep. Another has, as
her son said, “private time with
the books. She’ll say that she
needs a certain amount of time
alone, and I’ll know what to
do,” he said.
♦
*
*
i
everything.”
Many of the mothers
stressed ‘organization’ as the
main ingredient in a successful
college/mother role.
“Being a student and a
mother almost forces you to
plan out your time effectively,”
one mother said.
Though parenting and
school don’t jell right away,
one mother said, “it’s really a
great experience, both for the
children and for myself. I
wouldn’t trade it for anything.”
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