Religion goes belly-up
Order contemplates navels
Don't be surprised if at some
time in the near future a monk
should walk up to you in the
street and say to you, "take my
Pope--please!"
By Jim McCaffrey
Of The Print
He will only be a practicing
member of the Order of St.
Omphaloskepsis. The Order of
Omphaloskepsis has adopted the
saint as the patron of laughter
and are able to perceive God as
the cosmic comic.
The Order of St. Omphalos
kepsis is the idea of College
student Joe Lee. Lee got his
idea for the order one night
while searching through a dic
tionary.
Lee was saddened by the fact
that the Catholic Church de
stroyed hundreds of years of
harmless and beautiful myth
ology by eliminating some saints,
such as St. Christopher and St.
Nicholas, from its role of saints.
Lee feels this was a terrible
mistake because the mere fact
that these people never existed
should not take away from the
value of the traditions they
represent.
In the middle of the diction
ary, Lee found the word ompha
loskepsis. Further, he found that
the word referred to the religious
contemplation of one's naval.
Immediately becoming inter
ested, Lee researched the word
and found that it came from a
group of nesycast monks who
lived on Mount Athos in the 14th
Dr. Frankenstein, look out! These charact
ers are dead on your heels. This Friday, outside
the Community Center, Al Aiken (left) and
Jeff Bolander (right) are hosting a Mad Sci-
Century. These monks practiced
the meditation upon one's belly
button. Grasping the’absurdity
of the word, Lee has taken it up-
self to designate as the mentor
of these monks, St. Omphalo
skepsis.
According to Lee's legend, St.
Omphaloskepsis preached the
gospel of laughter. The saint
taught that man speaks to God
not only through supplication in
pr yer but also through laughter.
"Laughter is like prayer", Lee
quotes the saint as saying, "Only
man, of all God's creatures, pos
sesses the ability to
laugh.
Therefore, laughter is man's spe
cial way of communicating with
God. The cosmic is like any
other comedian. He wants peo
ple to laugh. He knows man's
lot is not an easy one since
Adam was '86'd' from Eden.
Daily travels are lessened by the
act of laughter."
The story is continued with
the monks going out and preach
ing laughter
throughout the
world. The quality of life was
enhanced and strengthened a-
mong all who embraced the
philosophy. Minor miracles hap
pened daily as people began
to daily contemplate their belly
buttons and laugh, Lee said.
. forms religious order
Students coordinate
Mad Scientists Fair
By Scott Starnes
Of The Print
Springtime...an inspirational
time promoting
inspirational
ideas. What better time is there
to demonstrate your ideas and
creativity than in a mad scien
tists fair solely designed for this
purpose.
The rnad scientists exhibition,
to be held this Friday on the
College's campus, is to mainly
"promote fim," said Jeff Bo
lander, co-president of the fair
and College student. "I live in
Portland and frequent the down
town area, I met a guy who
showed me a project he was
working on which was really
creative and unique," Bolander
said. "His idea inspired me to
promote an idea similar to his in
the way of a mad scientists
fair."
Since it is springtime, finals
are coming up and people are
getting pressured and tired, Bo
lander felt that this would be a
good time to set the fair up.
"The fair is being established for
the people who get burnt out
and want to havefun. You don't
necessarily have to be mad to en
ter your inventions in the fair,
just be creative," Bolander said.
Bolander said that he is cur
rently working on an invention
which he intends to patent in the
'near future. "I don't want to go
into explicit detail about my
entist Exhibition featuring invisible fighting
fish fresh from the Philippines and other schi
zophrenic art works.
Photo by Brian Snook
.
project but-it is based on m
aturized hydraulics. It is am
for adults which exhibits to
speed capabilities in runnini
meaning that it will be able!
outrun any human being," fi
said. "I guess you could call I
quadropede."
Bolander said that he fee]
that the mad scientists fair wi
congregate all the mad or cream
scientists into a "brainstorm
think tank."
"Many peofi
don't believe us and feel jf
fair is a big hoax. We're series
Remember, man's first landffl
on the moon was the reality®
an idea some guy dreamed upj
couple of decades before it aT
ually happened," Bolander saffl
Entertainment during the.®
will consist of guest perfof
ances by the College's SchizoB
members of Hare Krishna an«
display of invisible fighting fl
Bolander said.
Student government has p
cepted the idea of a mad sci|
tists fair and is allowing them®
use the College's facilities,■
lander said. If the weather®
nice this Friday, the fair will®
set up outdoors and if not, n
should be held in the College]
Community Center, he said, j
Flyers were printed Mol
and should be circulated throui
out the campus at this time,®
fair begins around 10 a.m.Friffl
morning and will last through®
the afternoon, Bolander said. I
CCC graduation faces record turnout
The College will experience
its largest graduate turnout since
its opening ten years ago as 655
College students have petitioned
for the
June 9 graduation
ceremony.
The 655 student total repre
sents all the students who have
graduated either last summer,
fall or winter terms including
this year's spring term graduates,
said Chuck Adams, registrar.
"Of the 655 students who
have petitioned, 282 are gradu
ates from .¿this year's
spring
term," Adarns said.
The commencement will con
sist of General Educational De
velopment (GED), occupational,
transfer and adult high school
diploma students, Adams said.
Prior to the 7 p.m. commence
ment ceremony in Randall Hall,
the attending graduates
will
meet in the mall of the Com
munity Center and then proceed
from the mall to Randall Hall
gymnasium, Adams said.
"The faculty members will
roceed to the gym and will fall
in behind the platform partici
pants who will then be followed
by the graduating students,"
Adams said..
During the commencement
ceremonies, one, possibly two
speakers will partake in the class
address, said Debbie Baker, stu
dent activities counselor.
"We have four candidates-
Richard Cranswick, Larry Hess,
Barbara St. Mary and Mitch
Newton who will present their
speeches before a committee
composed of faculty and staff
members," Baker said. "One,
possibly two speakers at the
most will be selected during
Wednesday's presentation."
College Board of Education
awards,
given to Clackamas
County citizens for their con
tributions to the College, will be
presented by Anne Nickel, board
chairperson, who will present
the certificates, plaques, and one
honorary degree, Adams said.
After the commencement cer
emonies, a reception is planned
in the cafeteria somewhere a-
round 8:15 p.m., Adams said.
Light refreshments and cookies
are planned.
"The faculty wives are spon
soring the reception," Adams
said.
A graduation practice for the
participants in the ceremonies
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