WE WIL PAY
An extract from the London Chron
icle proves that the English can take
a joke in a sportsmanlike way.
The American opinion of coffee as
understood in the English home is not
high, and how the coffee of the Eng
lish lodgings is esteemed may be un
derstood from the following traveler’s
tale:
It was his first morning in London
"apartments,” and his landlady came
up with the breakfast, and as she set
down his coffee cup she opened a slight
conversation.
“It looks like rain,” she said.
“It does,” agreed the American, “and
it doesn’t even smell unlike it.”
As follows. " We never charge
commission nor drayage.
1
We
want your good fat hogs, veal
and chickens.
Dressed Veal up ro 130 lbs 12Jc
Large Veal Less.
Dressed pork, any size.... 11c
Live Hens....... .......... .
18c
Dressed Hens....................
20c
Live Ducks.................... ... 18c
Dressed Geese...............
16c
Dressed Turkeys..........
25c
Address,
FRANK L SMITH MEA1
co
PORTLAND, OREGON.
No Accounting; for Tastes.
Fair Maiden—Can’t I sell you a cou
ple of tickets to our charity concert?
Only $2 for the two,
Irritable Capitalist—I don’t care for-
charity concerts, young lady, but if
you’ll bring me a couple of boxes of
fine charity strawberries I’ll give you
$5 apiece for them.x.
Where Pepys Won Fame.
“Who was the fellow Pepys, and
What is his claim to fame?”
"His claim to fame is well founded,
rtfiy friend. He’s the man who kept a
diary for more than a year.”—-Kansas
City Journal.
Syrahs
EWvviSewa
ads
boweVs; deaases
assists
Wnt&oJi coRsXipatwu
MANUFACTURED BY THE
CALIFORNIA
F ig S yrup Co.
-I'oo'k Three Women and Five Men to
Fix Value on One in Louisville.
Wonderfully Built Up at Small Cost.
The number o cases of general debility
One UasT Chance.
She was shopping. Slie drifted into
the place where they sell blankets,
Roll after roll was deposited and
spread outt before her. Sill, she', list-
more, Finally, with
lessly asked for
:
brazen face, she remarked, as she
rose:
“Oh, well; I don’t really mean to
buy any. I was only looking for a
friend.”
“Pray wait a moment, ma’am,"’ said
the attendant, suavely, “there’s is one
more blanket on the shelf. Perhaps
your friend is in that.”—Tit-Bits.
It took five men and three women in which Hood’s Sarsapari la has proved
at the custom house and the silk buyer just the medicine, that was heeded is very
of a Louisville department store to fix great. Mr. E. S. Fry, Ivanhoe, Va., de
the value of a kimono which- arrived scribes his case and tells what this medi
did for him, in the following testimo
at the office of the surveyor of customs cine
nial: “I was all run down and weighed
for appraisement, the Times of that only 132 pounds. I took Hood’s Sarsapa
city says.
rilla, and before the first'bottle was finished
It was a dainty silken thing, laven- began to improve, and when I had taken
der In color, which lay on the table six bottles was wonderfully built up and
of Cashier Thomas for two hours. The weighed 180 pounds.”
garment was sent to the custom house Get Hood’s Sarsaparilla today. In. usual
by the postmaster ‘ at Somerset, Ky., liquid form or tablets calle Sarsatabs.
Mothers will find Mrs. Winslow’s Soothing
who received it a few days ago through
Byrup the best remedy to use' for their children
Tariffic!
| the mail from Japan. He did not send
during the teething period.
Rivers (who is writing an article on
in the address of the owner.
TO CURE A COLD IN-ONE DAY
This was aggravating to the young imports)—Say, Brooks, what’s the rate
Seems Probable.
Take LAXATIVE BROMO Quinine Tablets. woman experts called in. “I know on automobiles?
"They’ve1 found a new cure for con
Druggists refund money if it fails to cure. E. W.
Brooks—In the suburb where I live
GROVE’S signature is on each box.
25c.
every woman in Somerset,” one said, it’s not less than forty miles an hour. sumption.”
"What is. it?”
“and I’d just like to know who is go
Possible Use for Him*
"Crotalin.”
PILES CURED IN 6 TO 14 DAYS
ing
to
wear
that.
”
"No, sir,” said the recruiting officer;
"What is crotalin?”
PAZO OINTMENT is guaranteed to cure any case
For
half
an
hour
it
puzzled
Surveyor
"I’m sorry to say your boy won’t do
“Rattlesnake poison.”
of Itching, Blind, Bleeding or Protruding Piles in
Taylor and two or three of his men 6 to 14 days or money refunded.
50c.
at all for the navy.”
“Well, it’s true that a man who has
assistants to discover just what the
"Why not?" asked the lad’s father,
been bitten 'by a rattlesnake is not
A Coolness Between Them Novy.
“He’s cross eyed.”
garment was.
likely to die of consumption.”
“Do you mean to tell me, colonel,
“Yes, I know that, but his eyes are
“It looks to me like the court gown
crossed at such a peculiar angle that cf the queen of Zanzibar,” said Clay you are 53? Why, I shouldn’t have
The next time you have a cold on the
taken you to be over 40.”
I thought you might be able to use him
“I fear, madam, you are not a good lungs try rubbing Wizard Oil on your
as a range finder.”—Chicago Tribune. Miller, who measures steamboats and
superintends the loading of merchan judge of ages.”
chest and see how quickly it will draw
“O, yes, I am, colonel; but I thought out the inflammation and break up the
dise at the custom house depot. ;
A Sporting Chance.
“Don’t you know anything at all?” I’d lie just a little, to please you.”
cold.
“I’ll teach you to play at pitch and
exclaimed
one of the women clerks,
toss!” shouted the enraged father.
DR. MARTEL’S FEMALE PILLS.
Not Handing' Out Statistics.
pushing her way through the puzzled
“ÎT1 flog you. for an hour, I will!”
Seventeen Years the Standard.
The Missus—-Norah, how many farh-
“Father,” instantly said the incor group. “Why,j that’s a kimono.”
Prescribed and recommended for women’s ail ilies have you ever worked for?
“What in the thunder is a kimono?” ments
rigible, as fie balanced' a penny on his
—a scientifically prepared remedy of proven
The. Maid—Wurruked, is it, ma’am?
thumb and finger, “I’ll toss you to inquired Deputy Sam Barber. “They worth. The'result from their use is quick and I’ll have you know, Mrs; Pa-arker, I’ve
make it two hours or nothing.”— don’t have that kind. of thing down permanent. For sale at all drug stores.
wurruked f’r ivery fam’ly I iver lived
in Bath County, where I came from.”
with! ”—Chicago Tribune.
Biot the Only One.
Cassell’s Journal.
Finally when the officials decided
The Court—Ephraim, this is the
Just Before He Swears Off.
Pettit’s Eye Salve.
that there was nothing dangerous fourth or fifth time you have been up
No matter how badly the eyes may about the garment they started in fix before me for petty larceny, You are Man wants a great deal here below.
(The poet hath it wrong.)
be diseased or injured, restores normal ing the value. It was estimated to an old offender.
Uncle Ephr’m—Yes; suh; it’s about He wants a lot—the man you know—
conditions. All druggists or Howard be worth all the way from $1.50 to
And wants it good and strong.
as tough a job to refawm me as it is
Bros., Buffalo, N. Y.
$150. The kimono was finally carried de Standahd Oil comp’ny.—Chicago
to
a
department
store,
where
the
silk
Tribune.
In South Carolina.
fl TI T1
fl Catalogue for
Colonel Peterby met his colored gar buyer said it was worth $14. ,
W here is w orkett.
% F F 11 \
the Asking
Later the kimono was bundled into
dener, Jim Webster, a short time ago.
"While we were on my honeymoon
1/ M Send for It.
Jim had been recently married. “How a box and started back to the Somer I always spoke French to my husband kz Ll
do you like matrimony, Jim?” asked set postmaster with instructions tc so that no one should understand us.”
charge the owner $8.20 duty.
J. J. B UTZER
Colonel Peterby.
“So you went to France, did you?”
Jim shook his head dubiously.
—Fliegende Blaetter.
Portland, Oregon
188
Street Front
THE SELF-SMOKING PIPE.
“What’s the matter?”
You
Can
Get
Allen
’
s
Foot-Ease
FREE.
“Yer see, boss, before we were mar An Interesting; Experiment Tbat Is
Write AllenS. Olmsted, Le Roy, N. Y.,Xora
Some Excellent Rooms
ried, when, I knock’ed at de dore she
free sample of Allen’s Foot-Ease. It cures
Easily Performed.
Still on Sale for
sweating,
hot swollen, aching feet. It makes
used ter say, ‘Am dat you, honey
After filling a decanter about two- new or tight
shoes easy. A certain cure for CLARK’S CRUISE OF THE “CLEVELAND”
suckle?”
thirds full of water close it by means corns, ingrowing nails and bunions. All drug • erk
18,000 Tons, Brand New
“Now when I come. home, she bawls of a cork provided with two apertures. gists sell it. 25c. Don’t accept any substitute. Iand Superbly Fitted
fi
out, ‘Clean off dem boots before you Through one of these, pass a short
who?
comes in dat dore, you black moke!’’’ pipe stem, affix a cork provided with For who, to dumb forgetfulness a prey,
—Baltimore News.
That letter in his pocket e’er resign
two apertures. The apertures may be
FROM SAN FRANCISCO FEB. 5, 1910
ed,
Oyerconfiden ce.
easily formed by means of a red-hot
ONE STEAMER for the Entire Cruise
When the
Hair Falls
Stop it! And why not? Fall
ing hair is a disease, a regular
disease; and Ayer’s Hair Vigor,
as made from our new im
proved formula, quickly and
completely destroys that dis
ease. The hair stops falling
out, grows more rapidly, and
all dandruff disappears.
Does not change the color of the hair.
Formula with each bottle
Show it to your
doctor
Ask him about it,
then do as he says
The little book in each package gives
the formula of our new Hair Vigor, tells
why each ingredient is used, and ex
plains many other interesting things.
After reading you will know why this new
hair preparation does its work so well.
•——Made by the J. C. Ayer Co., Lowell. Maos.—■*
Trees, Brought
SOLD BY LEADING DRUGGISTS 50+ABOTTLE
Rain. •
In lower Egypt rain fell very sel
dom. During the French occupation,
about 1789, it did net rain for sixteen
months, but since Mahomet Ali and
Ibrahim Pasha completed tiheir vast
plantations—the former alone planted
more than 20,000,000 olive, fir, cotton,
acacia, plane trees, etc.—there now
falls a good deal of rain.
Coarse.
A
He—Do you believe in the higher
education for girls,
She—Oh, my, yes; I’m taking les
sons in aviation already.—Boston Her
ald.
COFFEEl 1
TEA SPICES'i
BAKING POWDER
■» EXTRACTS
RIGHT
CLOSSET a DEVERS
PORTLAND, ORE.'
ROUND THE WORLD
To OetXXs beneJvcAcX
ejJecis.(AwaysW| tW
°
From 132to180 lbs
COST OF A SILK KIMONO.
jdinglisb Coffee.
I
"THEOLD RELIABLE”
Without receiving, on some later day,
of nearly four months, costing only $650 and up,
A good-sized portion of somebody’s including all necessary expenses,
mind? _ ____________
ROUTE: Japan, China, Philippines, Borneo,
"What is the title of this picture?”
inquired the connoisseur.
" ‘The Night Express Leaving on
Time,”’ said the proud owner of the
painting.
"May I ask what it cost you?”
"I paid $150 for it.”
"Well, you got left
Philosophic.
Grumbler—Seems to me it’s
about 1 time something was coming my
way.
The Philosopher—Be thankful, my
friend, lest the something which
doesn’t come your way is something
you deserve.—Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Java. Burma, India, Ceylon, Egypt, Italy, etc.
An unusual chance to visit unusually attractive
P,aces^LJTAHL
ORIENT CRUISE
February 5,1916, by S. S, “Grosser Kurfuerst,”
73 days, including 24 days Egypt and Palestine,
$400 up, including hotels, shore excursions, etc.
FRANK C. CLARK
Times Bldg.
New York
» capsui . es
GOMHOËÂ ano GLEET
AT DRUGGISTS.OR TRIAL BOX BY MAI l SO c
FROM PLANTEALOS HENRYST.BROOKLYN.N.Y
.EXPERT
MODERN
DENTISTRY
Constipation
The Kind. You Have Always Bought has borne the signa
ture of Chas. H. Fletcher, and has been made under his
personal supervision for Over 30 years. Allow no one
to deceive you in this. Counterfeits, Imitations and
«« Just-as-good are. but Experiments, and endanger the
health of Children—Experience against Experiment.
What is CASTOR!A
Castoria is a harmless substitute for Castor Oil, Pare»
goric, Props and Soothing Syrups. It is Pleasant. -It
contains neither Opium, Morphine nor other Narcotic
substance. Its age is. its guarantee. It destroys Worms
and allays Feverishness. It cures Diarrhoea and Wind
Colic. It relieves Teething Troubles, cures Constipation
and Flatulency. It assimilates the Food, regulates the
Stomach and Bowels, giving 'healthy and natural sleep»
The Children’s Panacea—The Mother’s Friend.
The Kind You ïïaie Always Bought
Bears the Signature of
poker. The later aperture serves ' to
fix the pipe. Finally, with the other
cork and a bent tube, form a siphon.
After the latter has been primed and
is once in operation it will tend to
empty the decanter, and the vacuum
formed will be immediately filled by
the external air flowing in through the
pipe. It is then only necessary to
light the latter in order to see it
“smoke itself” tranquilly as long as
any water remains in the decanter.
This experiment is very interesting
may easily be performed.—Scien«
American.
"For over nine years I suffered with chronic
constipation and during this time I had to take
an injection of warm water once every 24 hours
before I could have an action on my bowels.
Happily I tried Cascareis, and today I am a well
man. During the nine years before I used
Cascareis I suffered untold misery with internal
piles. Thanks to you, I .am free from all that
this morning. You can use this in behalf of
suffering humanity. B. F. Fisher, Roanoke, I1L
CUT THIS OUT, mail it with your ad
dress to the Sterling Remedy Company,
Chicago, Hl., and receive a handsome sou
venir Gold Bon Bon FREE.
You can’t sow thistles and
reap figs. If you plant
Ferry’s Seeds you
grow exactly what
you expect and in
a profusion
and perf<
tion never
excelled.
years of
study and
experience
make them re
liable. For sale
reveryvaiiere. Ferry’s
1910 Seed Annual
free on request
A Fatare Argument.
In Use For Over 30 Years.
MAPLEINE
A flavoring used the same as lemon or vanilla.
By dissolving granulated sugar in water and
adding Mapleine, a delicious syrup is made and
a syrup better than maple. Mapleine is sold by
grocers. If not send 35c for 2 oz. bottle and
recipe book. Crescent Mfg. Co., Seattle, Wn.
the adoption o\aeroplanes mean*»
an end to war, it cannot, according to
the Cleveland Plain Dealer, mean an
end to some of those disputes which
make life for some people a perpetual
debating school.
“Good gracious,” said Mrs. Ebbs,
“isn’t that your, husband across the
street there quarreling with the man
on the opposite porch?”
“Oh, they’re not really quarreling,”
said the wife of the man in question.
“They, dispute that way every night.
George is a monopianist, and Mr.‘Stig*
gins is a blplanist.”
Terror of the Birds.
Highest Quality
use
First Yokel—Wot about these yer*
hairyplanes?
Second Yokel—I’d like to see ’em all
gormed! Last week we ’ad three chick
en run over by them motors, and now
the pigeons won’t dare fly about in
case some hairyplane sh’ld cut ’em
down. Life ain’t wot it used ter be.”
—M. A. P.
Took Them In Too.
25 Ounces for 25 Cents
Made from pure, carefully tested
materials. Get a can on trial
You never saw such cakes
and biscuit They’ll open
The people on that farm are such
warm-hearted, hospitable folks. They
will, take anybody in.”
"I know they will. We boarded with
them last summer.”—Baltimore Amer
ican.
From Bad to Worse.
Blobbs—Why don’t you consult a
doctor about your insomnia? Blobbs—
What! And run up more bills? Why,
It’s because of what I owe him now
that I can’t sleep.—Tit-Bits:
Not
your eyes.
ÛES m ANFÔC
Guaranteed
under all
Pure Food Laws
Acquainted with
D. M. FERRY & CO
Detroit Mich.
When You’re Hoarse Use
At Prices that Defy Competition
KOW-KURE
is not a “food”—it is a medicine, and'the
only medicine in the world, for cows only.
Made for the cow and, as its name indicates,
a Cow Cure. Barreness. retained after
birth-, abortion, scours, caked udder, and all
similar affections positively and quickly
cured. No one who keeps cows, whether
many or few, can afford to be without KOW-
KURE. It is made especially to keep cows
PAINLESS EXTRACTION
SILVER FILLINGS.................................... 50c up-
GOLD FILLINGS .....................$1.00 Up
22K GOLD CROWN ...................... $5.00'
GOOD RUBBER PLATE.............................. $5.00'
THE BEST RUBBER PLATES........... $8.00'
WHALEBONE PLATES ................$10.00
Out-of-town patients can obtain perfect work
and save money by calling at our office.
healthy. Our book “Cow Money” sent FREE.
Ask your local dealer for KOW-KURE or. send
to the manufacturers.
All work guaranteed for ten years
DAIRY ASSOCIATION CO.
Lyndonville, Vt.
Gives immediate relief. The first
dose relieves your aching throat and
allays the irritation. Guaranteed to
contain no opiates. Very palatable«
OI LED
CLOTHING
will give you full value
for every dollar spent
and keep you dry in i =
the wettest. Weather, t
SUITS «322
SLICKERS «322
POMMEL SUC
♦350
AJ.T ower C o . boston . u T& a .
T ower C anadian C o . limited T oronto .can .
Here to stay.
We will give you a good
22k gold or porcclair.
crown for ' $3.50
Molar Crowns
22kBridgeTeeth
Gold Fillings
Enamel Fillings
Silver Fillings
Inlay Fillings
Good Rubber
Plates
Best Red fNb-
5.0G
3.50
1.00
1.00
.50
2.50
5.00
Painless -TCrimctiop Free when plates or bridge work
is ordered. Consultation Free, You cannot get better
painless work done anywhere. All work fully guar«
anteed. Modern electric equipment. Best methods.
Wise Pental Co.
F ailing B uilding —
T htpta a W asb . S ts . PORTLAND, OREGON
0P7I0B B0UB8: 8 A. M. to 8 P.M. Bundays, 9 to 1«
The Chinese Doctor
A LEADER
WATER SYSTEM
IN YOUR HOME
Means an -unfailing water supply. It
means that you will have the most practi
cal Domestic water sunply system now in
use. No elevated tank, no frozen pipes in
winter, no stagnant water in summer, no
water supply troubles of any sort. Tank
placed in basement, out of sight and way.
made of pressed steel, will not rust and
will last a lifetime.
You will be pleased with the LEADER
system of furnishing Domestic Water
Supply. Ask for our catalogue and free
booklet, “How I Solved My Water Supply
Problem.”
This wondeful man has
made a life study of the
properties of « Roots,
Herbs and Barks, and
is giving the world the
benefit of his services. ‘
No Mercury, Poisons
or Drugs Used. No
Operations or Cutting
LEWIS & STAYER CO.
A SURE CANCER CURE
Just received from Pekin, .China—safe, sure
and reliable. Unfailing in its works.
If you cannot call, wrii^e for symptom blank
and circular. Inclose 4 cents in stamps.
The C. Gee Wo Medicine Cô;
^62^^lrt^L^or^lorrl«op^ortland, Or>^
j
Portland, Ore.
Spokane, Wash.
Boise, Idaho.
Guarantees to cure Catarrh, Asthma, Lung,
Stomach and Kidney troubles, and all Private
Diseases of M n and Women.
CONSULTATION FREE
F//U
323H Washington St.. Cor. Sixth
Out of town people
can have their plate
and bridgework fin.
iehed in one daj
•t necessary.
C.GeeWo
WATERPROOF
NO COCA1N0
ainless Dentistry
All Druggists, 25c.
TOWERS FISH BRAND
NO GAS
CHICAGO PAINLESS DENTISTS
Established 15 year?.
7.50
DR. W. A. WISE, P skiohit awMwa
^er p,a*6'
‘ s A
32 vim establisheo in PORTLAND
Painless Extrtlon nbU
WORK GUARANTEED FOR 15 YEARS
•wit ust mm m
NO STUDEN TS
P N U
No. 4—’10
HEN writing' to advertisers please
mention this paper.
W
It.
‘Ta, what’s a sine qua non?”
“Oh, pshaw, don’t ask me! I ain't
had my automobile long enough to
Color more roods brighter and faster colors than any other dye. One 10c package colors silk, wool and cotton equally well
learn about all of these technical and
is guaranteed to give perfect results. Ask dealer, or we will send postpaid at 10c a package. Write for free booklet
how to dye, bleach and mix colors.
MONROE DRUG COMPANY, Quincy,
names yet.**—Chicago Record-Herald.
PUTNAM FADELESS DYES