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About Vernonia's voice. (Vernonia, OR) 2007-current | View Entire Issue (May 2, 2019)
16 in other words may2 2019 Running My Mouth: Proving a Point By Jamie Adams When you believe everyone could benefit from therapy, it means you have to go in order to prove your point. This is a difficult point to make when there are no therapists in Vernonia. However, when you are as invested in being right as I am, this can and will be overcome, no matter how many doggos are in your way. Note: Doggo is a colloquial term for a dog, gener- ally a Very Good dog. The writer does not claim to be rating the goodness, or lack thereof, of these doggos. Thus begins our narrative. The drive to my Proving-I’m-Right appoint- ment starts with clear skies, enabling me to see a large mass in the road. Lo and behold, a presumably hurt doggo is lying in the opposite lane as another doggo stands over it. As I flash my brights to the oncoming cars and slow down, Standing-Doggo trots off the road while Presumably-Hurt-Doggo jumps up in front of my car. Everyone slams their brakes on and we all stop, waiting for Presumably-Hurt-Doggo to find its way off the road. Presumably-Hurt-Doggo stays standing in front of my car. Everyone else stays sitting in their own cars. There is no way I have the most Vernonian se- niority in this situation and, therefore, should not be expected to get out of my car first. Unfortunately, no one else received that memo. It’s a doggo eat doggo world out on 47. In preparation for a situation nothing like this, I made sure I knew how to turn my hazards on and decide this is a good time to put that knowledge to use. First attempt: shoo doggo off the road. Presum- ably-Hurt-Doggo won’t shoo. Presumably-Hurt-Dog- go likes me. Since there are three other cars waiting for me and Presumably-Hurt-Doggo to get off the road, I walk both doggos to the side and let the cars pass. I was somewhat hurt by how quickly they decided I was just Reliability comes in all sizes. 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See us or go to KubotaUSA.com for more information. human shaped obstacle to get around and made a note to discuss it at my Proving-I’m-Right appointment. Presumably-Hurt-Doggo, who is clearly fine, trots across the road and into my car. Learning to use my hazard button did not come with a follow up lesson on shutting the door. The doggo is polite enough to use the passenger seat and begins licking my empty food container. I make another note to use leftover ranch the next time I need to lure a doggo. This is a sub-optimal start to the trip that was supposed to get me to my Prov- ing-I’m-Right appointment. Now I have to prove I’m right to two doggos before I can prove I’m right to the humans. It’s rough being right all the time. I take Standing-Doggo over to the car, he jumps in and now I have two doggos in my car. They’re too big to squish in the passenger seat and my backseat is so full of random crap that even if I can coax The- Doggo-Formerly-Known-As-Standing-Doggo, who is bigger than me, out of my driver seat, I can’t fit him into the back. As I stand bewildered but still right on the side of the road, cars and a log truck pass around me and my car shaped obstacle. One car is kind enough to ask if I need help. They point me in the direction of the address on the doggo’s collar and then promptly tell me it’s in the opposite direction before driving on. I’m not going to have too hard of a time being more right than them at least. And then the cops show up. Lights are flash- ing, traffic is parting, the chief himself is stepping out of the vehicle. I think it’s the chief. He’s wearing sun- glasses which seems a chiefly thing to do. Mr. Officer/ Chief asks if I’m broken down and I realize if I wanted to make off with these doggos, I should have kept a cleaner backseat. I explain that my car has room for two me-sized beings and there are a total of three me-sized beings so we’re going to need a me-sized space in his car for one of the beings that can’t drive. Mr. Officer/Chief opens his back door and The-Doggo-Formerly-Known-As- Standing-Doggo hops out of my car, checks Mr. Of- ficer/Chief’s backseat out and decides he doesn’t like it. Presumably-Hurt-Doggo, who is clearly fine after eating some leftover ranch, hops out to follow The- Doggo-Formerly-Known-As-Standing-Doggo and we get Presumably-Hurt-Clearly-Fine-Doggo into the backseat. I grab a significant handful of The-Doggo- Formerly-Known-As-Standing-Doggo’s fur and refuse to let him leave again, until he gets into the backseat of Mr. Officer/Chief’s cop car with the previously flash- ing lights. Note: they could have still been flashing but there was a statistically significant amount of me-sized doggos running around which is bound to skew obser- vations. I make sure we shut the door to the backseat of Mr. Officer/Chief’s cop car with the possibly pre- viously flashing lights before The-Doggo-Formerly- Known-As-Standing-Doggo can jump back out. Mr. Officer/Chief asks me if I got a specific address off of the collar of The-Doggo-Formerly-Known-As-Stand- ing-Doggo and I tell him, “No, he wouldn’t stand still.” Before Mr. Officer/Chief can ask any other pesky ques- tions, I jump in my car to let Mr. Officer/Chief take care of The-Doggo-Formerly-Known-As-Standing- Doggo and Presumably-Hurt-Doggo-Who-Is-Clearly- Fine-And-Loves-To-Ride-In-Cars-And-Eat-Leftover- Ranch. And I drive away to prove I’m right. CASA Auction Raises $700K for Children in Foster Care CASA for Children of Multnomah, Wash- ington, and Columbia Counties hosted their 28 th Annual Auction: Here Comes the Sun at the Port- land Art Museum on April 5. The evening’s pre- senting sponsor was Fred Meyer, and the event raised more than $701,000 in support of CASA’s mission to advocate for the rights, safety, and well- being of abused and neglected children who are under the protection of the courts. This is CASA’s largest single source of fundraising revenue in sup- port of its mission. The auction achieved its incredible suc- cess with support from generous donors like Fred Meyer and NW Natural. The audience was com- prised of over 450 guests, including leaders from Portland’s corporate and philanthropic communi- ties, CASA volunteers, CASA’s Board of Direc- tors, and CASA’s Ambassador Board. The honorary guests included a young woman named Kiersten and her CASA Cindy. Cin- dy provided support and guidance to Kiersten dur- ing her tumultuous pre-teen years through her suc- cessful adoption as a teenager, and beyond as she graduated from PSU. This touching story moved the evening’s guests to raise their paddles during the special appeal, which raised over $310,000. CASA greatly appreciates the generosity of each attendee, and would also like to thank Anna Ma- ria Savinar and Dale Johannes, the auction’s em- cee and auctioneer. The event’s success would not have been possible without them. All proceeds raised from the auction di- rectly impact CASA for Children’s ability to serve more children with a CASA volunteer. A CASA passionately and tirelessly works to guide a child through the trauma of the court system. Oregon law gives CASAs unusual authority as a ‘party to the case’ so that they are able to ensure that the system does not ignore a child’s needs and that the judge has the information to act in the child’s best interests. A CASA is trained to work with judges, social workers, teachers, foster parents, and fam- ily members to guarantee that the safety and well- being of the child is front and center. This annual auction ensures the continuation of CASA’s ad- vocacy work on behalf of our community’s foster children. If you are interested in learning more about how to become a CASA volunteer, upcom- ing trainings, or future fundraising events, please contact Laura Collins, Interim Director of Devel- opment and Communications, at 503.988.4170 or lcollins@casahelpskids.org. Church Directory Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints Sunday Schedule: Sacrament Meeting: 10:00 am Sunday School & Primary: 11:20 am Relief Society, Priesthood and Young Women: 12:10 pm Roger Cook, Branch President 1350 E. Knott Street 503-429-7151 Grace Family Fellowship Sunday School: 9:00 am Worship Service: 10:30 am Thursday Prayer: 6:00 pm Greg “Mac” McCallum, Pastor 957 State Avenue 503-429-6790 Nehalem Valley Bible Church Sunday School: 9:45 am Worship Service: 10:45 am Tues. Ladies Bible Study: 9:30 am Wednesday Service: 7:00 pm Sat. Men’s Prayer Meeting: 6:30 am Gary Taylor, Pastor 500 North Street 503-429-5378 Open Door Gathering Place Service: Sunday 6:00 pm Grant Williams, Pastor 375 North Street 503-702-3553 Family Center: 11:00 AM www.VernoniaChristianChurch.org Sam Hough, Pastor 410 North Street 503-429-6522 St. Mary’s Catholic Church Sunday Mass: 12:00 pm Fr. Josh Clifton, Administrator 960 Missouri Avenue 503-429-8841 Vernonia Seventh-day Adventist Church Sabbath (Saturday) Services Sabbath School: 9:30 am Worship Service: 11:00 am www.VernoniaSDAC.org Larry Gibson, Pastor 2nd Avenue and Nehalem Street 503-429-8301 Vernonia Christian Church Sunday School: 9:45 am Worship Service in Youth &