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About Vernonia's voice. (Vernonia, OR) 2007-current | View Entire Issue (April 4, 2019)
in other words
The Hobo Corner: Testimonials and Snitches
By Jack Kauppila
Hey Everyone - It’s Jack here,
from the Hobo Bakery in Vernonia,
my new hometown.
My beautiful, sweet, little
town where I feel more at home than
I’ve ever felt before. I caught myself recently, sitting
on the front porch with my sweet sweet Mary. There
were dogs at our feet, the whine of a chainsaw in the
distance, wood smoke in the air, and a cool lemonade
on the table between us. And all we had to do was be
there and love it. What a dream…
This month we have our first customer testimo-
nial and my first big snitch!
Now, I try to keep the Hobo Bakery patron’s
identities anonymous - it’s nobody’s dang business
who’s double-dipping into the cinnamon rolls, or how
many maple-spice donuts Mr. Larry is eating. But two
of our dearest customers have given me permission to
write up a glowing testimonial on which they promised
to sign off. Sounds dangerous, I know!
Donna and Brian have been there from the start
for the Hobo Bakery. They love what I bake and they
know I do it all for love and service - they really seem
to get what we’re up to around here. Their enthusiasm
and support has been constant, and their feedback just
melted my heart one particular weekend. Especially
considering what happened the week or so before. And
then what happened next…
Buckle up - here comes the big snitch!
So the other day Donna and Brian got a Chupa-
cabra Boule (yup, all that sharp cheddar cheese and hot
jalapenos comes in boules!) and told me all about it on
their next visit -
“Jack that Chupacabra bread was amazing!
We started tearing into it in the car and we just couldn’t
In fact it caused a bit of conflict when Donna
pointed out that if they didn’t stop eating, the whole
thing was going to be gone before dinner time! But
Brian wasn’t done yet and Donna was having too much
fun picking around the jalapenos to enjoy the soft, pil-
lowy, cheesylicious bread to stop, so they nibbled the
rest of the way home in silent acquiescence.
I LOVE THAT!
I don’t, however, like why they got a chupie
boule in the first place…
I like to make my Hobo bread to order - I like
to know who I’m baking for, so I can fill the order with
all the peace and love and mindfulness my process can
bring. And my heart just breaks when I have orphaned
boules, so I need to know they have a loving home. I
have people email me, or stop by the bakery, and Don- up again.
na has been great about getting her orders in right on
I offered Donna an additional Jackie and Chu-
pie, hoping that through some sort of Freaky Friday
So, in good faith, Donna placed an order the exchange they might swap fillings somehow. Donna
other day for two boules of Hobo Olive for a gathering graciously (again) accepted and we went on with our
(the perfect thing for any gathering!), with a Saturday days, my heart not quite so warm as before.
pickup. I immediately replied “of course we’ll have
I snitch because I care. I used to call it ‘ratting
that for you! Thanks for the order!” and promptly set myself out,’ but I don’t think we want to associate rats
about not thinking of it again!
with a bakery so...
Saturday rolled around as scheduled and Donna
I want to own my mistakes, learn from them
came in, as scheduled, and I had completely forgotten and make everything better because of them. I will do
about her order! Aaagh! My heart sank to the bottom whatever I can to make it up to you. Of course maybe
of the deep dark sea as I walked out to face up to my these weren’t mistakes as much as happy accidents…
horrible horrible negligence. Donna was disappointed
No, I’m not trying to wiggle off the hook! Lis-
and I was mortified - if there’s one dang thing I should ten:
be able to do it’s get people what they order!
So, forgetting the first order got Donna and
I offered what I had available, part of which Brian to try a Chupie boule, leading to our first cus-
was a still-warm-from-the-oven Chupacabra boule. tomer testimonial.
Donna shared her disappointment (she’s not a jalapeno
Then, the very next day, one of my favorites
fan), but acknowledged I owned my mistake and ac- came in and said “Jack, did you do something different
cepted the replacement boule.
with those jalapeno rolls? Mine seemed to have pickles
And that brings us current, almost…
As I mentioned, Donna and Brian raved about
oh, please not again…
that chupie boule when I saw them next, even suggest-
“That was awesome!” he raved. “I think you’re
ing that I include customer testimonial in my writings on to something - I love that mix of spicy/sweet!”
and that I could start with them. Not once did they men-
And there you have it! The second mistake
tion that the reason they had that bread to begin with led to the birth of the ChupaLope! Spicy jalapenos
was because I screwed up!
and sweet bread and butter pickles with sharp cheddar
That might just be the definition of Grace.
cheese, suspended in my luscious hobo white bread.
They picked up a Chupie and a Jackie (the
That’s all I have from the Hobo Corner this
Chupie’s kinder, gentler cousin the Jackelope, with month. Thank you all for your time and patience.
sharp cheddar and sweet bread and butter pickles) for Peace and Happy Happy Toasting!
the road and we all went about our day with
a warm feeling in our hearts. Almost…
Soon the front door dinged and
poor, sweet Donna was back.
“Brian didn’t want to be the bearer
of bad news,” she began, “but I said you’d
want to know…”
“The Chupacabra with the jalapeno
Vernonia School District Superintendent Aaron Mill-
on top is filled with pickles and my Jack-
holding several Community-Superintendent Chats
elope is full of jalapenos!”
throughout the 2019 school year. These informal meetings are
STOP THE BUS! I WANNA GET
meant to provide another avenue for parents and other com-
munity members to hear about some of the great things that are
Now remember, you liked me when
happening in our schools, and to ask questions regarding any
we started this article.
aspects of education here in Vernonia, the State of Oregon, and
I had rolled out our Jackies and Chu-
pies that morning, making ABSOLUTELY
The rest of the year’s schedule is listed below. If you
SURE that I marked them with a pickle or a
to attend one of these meetings, Superintendent
jalapeno, so as to avoid confusion. Oh holy
Miller is available to answer questions or address concerns by
monkeys, how do I do it?
appointment at the District Office: (503) 429-5891.
I got to practice owning my screw-
CASA for Children
to Host their 28 th Annual Auction
On Friday, April 5 CASA for Children of Multnomah, Washington, and Columbia Counties
will host their 28 th Annual Auction at the Portland Art Museum. In 2018, this event raised more than
$780,000 thanks to the generosity of Portland-area individuals, corporations, and foundations. This sig-
nature gala, a sold-out event for the past several years, features a silent and live auction, wall of wine,
and various raffles. It is among Portland’s best loved and
anticipated charity events.
Nearly 550 guests will gather at the Portland Art
Museum for an evening of philanthropy, gourmet cuisine,
C H I RO P R AC T I C C L I N I C, I NC.
and a stellar selection of fine Oregon wines. Guests represent
a wide range of business and community leaders. Many are
long-time supporters who use this event as an opportunity to
Joseph Dombek, DC
introduce new individuals to our organization.
All proceeds raised from the Auction directly im-
pact CASA’s ability to serve more children with a Court
Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) volunteer. A CASA
Now Accepting New Patients
Bridge Street • Vernonia, OR 97064
passionately and tirelessly works to guide a child through
the trauma of the court system. Oregon law gives CASAs
unusual authority as a ‘party to the case’ so that they are able
to ensure that the system does not ignore a child’s needs and
that the judge has the information to act in the child’s best in-
terests. A CASA is trained to work with judges, social work-
ers, teachers, foster parents, and family members to ensure
that the safety and well-being of the child is front and center.
If you are interested in helping make a difference in
a foster child’s life, please contact Laura Collins, Interim Di-
rector of Development and Communications, at (503) 988-
4170 or email@example.com.
April 24 Vernonia Schools 6-7 pm
May 29 Blue House Café 12-1 pm
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