in other words
2016
Like Deer, We Run
We can look in the woods, at the end
of a fishing rod or through the scope of
a hunting rifle. We can look for it in a
lover, in the Bible, in science, in a diary
or photo album or road atlas.
But it is my belief that we would
not even thirst unless water existed,
something to satisfy our hearts and
deepest needs.
One of my mentors, a French-
Canadian priest in Chicago, tells me that
one of the great perennial lies is that the
world is a place of scarcity. “If we can
learn to see as God sees,” he whispers
from behind thick glasses, “we see that
we have been surrounded by abundance
all along.”
Yes, father. This is true. But
aren’t there different kinds of abundance?
The abundance of New York is
not the abundance of Zagreb, Croatia.
The abundance of Los Angeles is not the
abundance of Jerusalem. Providence,
Rhode Island is rich, Missoula, Montana
is rich, Spokane and Seattle and Astoria,
all rich in their own ways. Portland is
rich.
Vernonia too. But some riches
are hidden.
***
“Like the deer pants for streams
of water…” one of the Bible’s most
beautiful songs begins. “… so my soul
pants for you, O God.”
We are like deer. We are thirsty
creatures. With needs, instincts at every
season of our lives. We all pant for a
stream that can satisfy.
The stream for which I most
deeply thirst—for which I have always
thirsted—I can now name as God, the
great Creator in whose likeness we are
january7
15
continued from page 13
made and from whose love we spring.
From those depths all things flow—
every good and wild creature, every good
and wild longing, every good and wild
home. In the deepest of ways, I believe
we come from our Creator. In the wildest
of ways, we run and pant, searching,
moving, our every thirst pointing to the
existence of some perfect Water, which
we can never see until it has been tasted.
I see now that so many of us
run like thirsty deer, searching for what
we think we lack. The thing we feel we
need. It would be a lie, a cop-out to say
that it was there all along.
Sometimes it isn’t. But it often
is.
It is good to long for bigger,
brighter, other things. To search for
clear streams, for the Holy Grail, for
that elusive something over the hill. It
strengthens and expands us.
The poet T.S. Eliot, searching
for something he could not name, once
saw the ghost of a good man in a garden
hedge. He then knew that
…the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.
The thing, you see, that we thirst
for is often the thing we feel that we are
running from.
Through the unknown, unremembered
gate
Eliot continues,
When the last of earth left to discover
Is that which was the beginning;
At the source of the longest river
The voice of the hidden waterfall…
“Deep calls unto deep,” the
Bible’s old song says, and we thirst at
even the mention of that voice. But it
Paul at Hearst Castle, 2001
is a very rare creature who can desire one had slipped and scrambled, before
something that does not exist.
leaping to join its friends on the bank.
Like deer, we run, heart-shaped
I walked back up into the woods,
prints trailing behind us. Life becomes leaving the river to flow, following their
a search for what we thirst for. But the trail into the woods, over the hill.
search is not enough. Our exploring
I needed to see where they were
must have an end.
going.
An end, like that of a deer,
running by the longest river, listening Paul J. Pastor is a former Vernonia
for the roar of the hidden waterfall. The resident and author of The Face of the
satisfaction of a good thirst that we can Deep: exploring the mysterious life
barely name.
of the Holy Spirit (David C. Cook,
***
2016), available for pre-order at www.
The deer prints stood
pauljpastor.com/book.
Look
by the river for a while.
for the first piece of this series,
Mine covered them now, my
“Like Rain, We Fall,” in
oversized boots following
the December 3rd edition of
them down to the stream,
Vernonia’s Voice and a third,
sinking into the mud. From
“Like Salmon, We Return,”
where I stood on the spit, I
in the February 4th edition. A
tracked their hooves with my
Vernonia author event for Paul’s
eye, saw a smeared spot where
book will be announced soon.
Valentine Classified Ads
Join us in wishing our loved ones a Happy Valentine’s Day!
It’s not ALL about Sweethearts... it’s about LOVE!
Remember grandparents, parents, children, spouses, grandchildren, aunts & uncles,
nieces & nephews, best friends, pets, even your hunting buddy!
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3. Send this ad and a check for $5 for each classified to:
Valentine Classified PO Box 55, Vernonia, OR 97064
4. Deadline Monday, February 1st. Valentine Classifieds to be published in the February 4th issue.
Additional messa)es: _______________________________________________________________
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Little Brown Bat, I’m so glad you are here
to enrich my life. Thanks for being such a
good friend.
Mom, Thank you for always being there for
me. I love you to the moon and back. Bill
Gabby & Olive, we make a good pack.
Happy Valentine’s Day.
Trevor & Sophie, we love and miss seeing
you! Your Vernonia Aunt & Uncle
Monkey Puzzle, my love for you has such depth
and meaning. Thanks for sharing this crazy life
with me.
Laslo, you’re the best playmate ever.
I love you. Okemah
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