8
in other words
november21
2013
Natural Path to Health ~ Change of Season
By Dr. Carol McIntyre
Seasonal change is upon us. The leaves are
falling from the trees and the nights are getting colder.
We are preparing for the winter season and the holidays
are approaching quickly.
In Chinese medicine the element associated
with autumn is Metal, as you recall from previous
discussion. Metal has a downward motion, replicating
the feelings we begin having to slow down. The days
get shorter and we tend to want to retire earlier in the
evening if we can.
Many of us struggle through this transitional
time with seasonal affective disorder (SAD) - meaning
we tend to feel increased sadness. This may be related
to many different factors including low Vitamin D
levels. Most physicians are now testing for Vitamin D
levels and supplementing accordingly. Taking cod liver
oil as a fish oil supplement will also aid in increasing
the levels of Vitamin D in the body.
Exercising also helps to elevate mood overall.
Spending just a few minutes a day doing activity that
increases the heart rate can give benefit. Also, doing
activities such as Qigong and yoga can benefit by
reducing cortisol levels and therefore reducing adrenal
fatigue and hypothyroid symptoms; both of which can
contribute to increased sadness.
Earth element is also involved in every
transition of season. Focus on digestion during these
times. Be thoughtful about what you eat (and how
much) throughout the holidays. The most common
focus for the new year is to lose the extra weight that
Better Parenting: Holidays
By Sonia Spackman MA, MFT
The last couple of years we
have covered this subject prior to the
holidays. Yet reminders can’t hurt so it
is never too late to make happier memo-
ries. For some kids whose parents are di-
vorced or separated the holidays can be
a nightmare.
Here are some ways that may
help make the holidays better for some
kids this year.
1. TAKE TIME AWAY IF YOU HAVE
TO
DON’T allow yourself to be thrown to-
gether before you are ready. Time may
be needed to get over any hard feelings
or differences. You may find it easier to
be away and celebrate a second holiday
after the holiday.
DO understand you are still a parent and
taking care of the kids is your first prior-
ity. Maybe you can have a close relative
or friend that can join you and help you
get through the holidays so you will be
able to celebrate with your children. As
you work at it, and try new things you
can create new traditions that may make
the holidays more enjoyable.
you, as they get older. Here are some
suggestions for now:
Plan ahead as far in advance as possible
with your ex-spouse and your kids if you
can.
Prioritize your wish list of activities,
with the dates and times that work best
for you.
Communicate what works best for you
without being pushy.
Remain calm and respectful. Listen
carefully to discover what your ex wants.
You might be able to make tradeoffs.
Put the schedule in writing as soon as
you reach an agreement, give your ex
a copy to mutually keep track of the
schedule and prevent misunderstandings.
Always have plan “B” Make an easy
or simple alternative plan to replace
activities that were scheduled in case of
an emergency, such as an illness. You
will have less stress because you are
ready.
Head off conflicts by sticking to your
agreement and being flexible with your
plans if your ex asks you to, even at the
last minute. (Remember,” it is far better
to give than to receive.” Because when
you give, it could come back to you in
beautiful ways.)
2. FOCUS ON GIVING INSTEAD
OF WINNING
DON’T get into conflicts over visitation
schedules. Children look to their parents
as the examples. The holidays are not the
time to bring up bad feelings or make
rude statements, even if you are goaded
into reacting.
has been accumulated from excess eating over the
holidays… don’t let that be you!
As we transition further into winter we will all
want to begin our hibernation. This is a very normal
process. Winter season is related to the Water element.
It is when we store up energy in preparation for the
transition into spring and sprouting growth. This is the
time to reconnecting with one’s inner self.
I do hope that you all have wonderful holidays!
The office will be closed Wednesday and Thursday,
November 27 th and 28 th , for Thanksgiving. We will
also be closing the week of Christmas (December 23 rd
– 27 th ) and re-opening on Monday December 30 th . As
always, I will be on call for any of my existing patients.
Thanks for joining me. Be Well~
you can, go in together for a bigger gift.
they are not. However, you can request
that your child spend a brief period of
time with the family. It may be helpful
to stipulate certain requirements such
as saying hello and being respectful.
4. KIDS NEED TIME TO ADJUST
TOO
DON’T react when your kids have dif-
ficulty going back and forth between
two homes and/or when they emotion- DO allow your kids to share how they
ally over react to little things because of feel. It is natural to experience some sad-
ness around the holidays when we talk
feelings of confusion and insecurity.
about the “old ways.” Take a few mo-
DO give your kids time to adjust and ments to acknowledge and help your
help them feel emotionally safe no child mourn the loss of their family the
matter what home they are in. Your kids way it used to be.
will be comforted knowing that you Keep expectations realistic.
understand. One of the best gifts you
can give your kids is permission to love 7. KIDS AS PRISONERS OF WAR
both parents. Your kids may be missing DON’T hold your kids prisoner because
the other parent. Allow your child to of your emotional reactions or demands
communicate with the absent parent if regarding your ex-spouse. Try to keep
your kids from feeling like they are
they feel like they need to.
in the middle. Try to keep them from
5. PARENTS NEED TO MAKE THE feeling that if they make mom happy
dad will be sad or mad or the other way
DECISIONS
DON’T give your kids too much power. around. If you do you will model that
Having kids choose to spend time with there is no such thing as a compromise,
one parent over the other can cause only victory or defeat.
your child to feel guilty. It also gives the
child more power than is appropriate. DO keep your eye on what is best for
Divorced families often fall into the your children, freeing them from the
trap of giving the kids too much power. obligation to keep track. Tell them that
(Your kids don’t decide to stay home if in the spirit of the season you will orga-
nize your time with them and their other
they don’t feel like going to school)
parent according to what works best for
them. Let them know that this will make
DO allow your kids to make age-
you happy to see them happy.
appropriate decisions, like what they will
wear. It helps kids feel more confident. If
You will be promoting the selfless spirit
a situation starts to feel out of balance of the season for your kids if you do.
try to have support, a close relative,
counselor or pastor you can turn to for References: Paul B @Buzzle.com, Holly
advice.
Abery-Wetstone & Donna Ferber, MA,
3. GIFT GIVING
DON’T compete for your child’s love
and loyalty or try to outdo each other by
“buying your kids”. As the non-custodi-
al parent you might feel that you need
to make up for being the absent parent
by indulging your child’s whims. This is
not healthy parenting. You may eventu-
ally grow to resent it, and your child will
DO try to make positive statements to likely test you and take advantage.
CAC, Risa Garon, LCSW-C, BCD,
and about your ex-spouse. It will be a
6. STEPPARENT AND STEP CFLE, Claudia M. Lenart, Kim Hess,
gift to your kids even if they don’t get DO talk to your ex, if you can about your
SIBLINGS
Alan Ravitz, M.D, MS
it while they are young. Your children child’s gift list and divide the items. Or if
DON’T force children to act happy if
will recognize your qualities and respect
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