in other words
Why Love Matters
By Diana Peach
The difference between a baby and a
squirrel
In recent years, brain researchers
have pretty much resolved the nature-
nurture debate when it comes to human
beings.
They’ve
concluded that we are
influenced by both.
Most of us who are
parents
understand
the contributions of
“nature.” Our infants
are born with their own
little personalities and
temperaments.
BUT “nurture”
plays a gigantic part
in who we ultimately
become, and that’s
because there is a big
difference between a baby and a squirrel.
A squirrel is a squirrel. A squirrel
in China isn’t so different from a squirrel
in England or Oregon. Squirrels can
be depended on to do squirrelly things
– raid bird feeders, climb trees, store
food. They don’t need much training or
feedback to be successful squirrels.
A human baby on the other
hand has to be highly adaptable. We
are the ultimate in social animals,
born to particular parents, families,
communities, and nations. Layer family
expectations and parenting styles on
top of economic, religious and cultural
differences and it’s no wonder we are all
so unique!
Which brings me to the baby
brain.
Our need to adapt at a very
young age to different social expectations
requires human baby brains to be the
least “hard-wired” of all baby brains in
the animal kingdom, including squirrels.
Interestingly, this means that most of the
brain’s cortex develops AFTER birth.
The cerebral cortex is the part of the
brain that controls little
things like thinking
and language! Here we
make meaning of our
personal experience of
the world, enabling us
to interact effectively
with others.
It makes sense
that this interactive part
of our brain develops
through social contact.
Who we are as social
and emotional beings
develops through our
interaction with the people we encounter
in our first 2-3 years of life. Therefore,
our earliest experiences as babies have
a much greater impact on who we are
as adults than many realize. It is as
babies that we first learn what to do
with our feelings and start to absorb our
experiences in a way that will affect our
later behavior and thinking.
Baby stress management
Early social experiences shape
the developing brain and determine
how stress will be responded to in the
future. Life is full of stress, you might
say, and shouldn’t infants and babies
get the picture early? A small amount
of stress is normal and unavoidable,
but babies aren’t born knowing how
to manage stress, so expecting them to
Vernonia Volunteer Fire & Rescue
Golf Benefit
Sunday, August 5th, 2012
7:30 AM
(Jamboree Weekend)
Vernonia Golf Course
15961 Timber Rd. East
Vernonia, OR 97064
Please join in supporting “Toy & Joy” to
purchase toys for local kids for Christmas
Format:
Entry Fee:
Scramble, Shotgun Start (4 person teams)
$ 95.00 per person or $350.00 per foursome
Due by: July 29, 2012 (Before July 1st
receives an additional $10 off per person)
Entry Fee includes: Green fees, 1 Cart per team, Gift Bag, Team
Photo, Surf & Turf Brunch and Raffle Ticket
Brunch, Raffle & Awards following the tournament.
Individual registrations are welcome
Make checks payable to:
Vernonia Volunteer Fire & Rescue Association
501(c)3 Tax deductible
For more information, please contact Randy Carlton: 503-429-8252,
503-791-8309 or Email: vernoniagolfbenefit@gmail.com
july24
2012
11
figure it out on their own is a little silly emotional meanings associated with
–like expecting someone to learn French them.
without hearing the language. How to
Every experience a baby has
manage stress is one of those skills that is stored in the huge warehouse of the
we teach through social interaction with brain and forms the basis for how baby
our infants.
perceives the world – as
Babies learn that
safe and loving or as scary
“Who we are as
they can tolerate a certain social and emotional and unreliable. The more
amount of stress once
a baby has a particular
beings develops
they are confident that an
experience the stronger
through our
attentive adult is available
the template becomes.
interaction with the
to help them. Once a
That’s awesome when
people
we
encounter
baby
has
repeatedly
they are good experiences,
in our first 2-3 years terrible when they aren’t –
experienced care from
of life.”
a responsive caregiver,
because it takes ten times
stress hormones are less
as many good experiences
likely to flood the brain when the baby to create a happy template over an old
experiences minor frustrations. The crappy one.
baby’s little brain says, “No big deal. I
can handle this, because I know I will Why love matters
get help if I need it.”
Children need a satisfying
experience of dependency before they
Why you never forget how to ride a can become truly independent and self-
bicycle
managing. This ability comes from
Can you imagine what life having relationships with people who
would be like if every time you rode a respond to their needs and help them
bicycle, made a sandwich, or used your handle their feelings.
TV remote you had to learn how to do
Oh, Diana, you might say. We’re
it all over again? We wouldn’t be able going to have all these spoiled children
to function. The brain handles this by running around because their parents are
creating templates, an amazing library trying to create happy brain templates!
of billions of bits of information that Don’t worry. Healthy emotional brain
we access constantly and at a moment’s templates lead to healthy emotional and
notice.
behavioral skills. Stressed emotional
Babies’ brains are primed to templates lead to difficulties handling
absorb information at an incredible rate. feelings which then lead to difficulties
Their libraries collect important how- with behavior. It’s all connected.
to guidelines such as how to pick up a
By 10 months of age, baby
Cheerio with two fingers or empty a bin brains have the capacity to store lasting
of toys. The libraries also file away very templates filled with emotion. These
subtle observations of facial expressions, templates form the library for emotional
tone of voice, body language and the regulation. At this age, baby is already
observing how his parent or caregiver
handles feelings and is making those
strategies his own. He is already
absorbing caregiver strategies for
calming and self-soothing as well
as absorbing negative experiences
and expectations that trigger stress.
These templates become a guide for
behavior later when the caregiver
is not available to help the child
through the joys and struggles of
growing up.
And that’s why love matters.
Warranty on all parts and labor
Diana Peach received a Masters
Now offering
in Pastoral Counseling from Saint
2 and 4 wheel
Joseph’s College in West Hartford,
alignments
CT. Before moving to Oregon she
worked in Burlington, VT as a
58605 NEHALEM HWY. S.
mental health clinician for children
Next to Storage, Too
ages 0-6 and their families.
VERNONIA
E
C
I
V
SER PAIR
& RE
503/429/7972
