8
community
november22
2011
Better Parenting: What if We Extended the Thanksgiving
Tradition for the Entire Year?
By Sonia Spackman MA, MFT
Being grateful for those who light up
your life. Albert Schweitzer, the Nobel
Peace Prize winner, once said, “At times
our light goes out and is rekindled by a
spark from another person, each of us
has cause to think with deep gratitude of
those who have lighted a flame within
us.”
Ask yourself, who has encour-
aged or strengthened you when you
were down? Who in your life deserves
gratitude for supporting you when you
needed it most? Make a list of the im-
portant people and benefits in your life.
What your life would be like without
those benefits or people?
Being thankful for a new chance. Each
day we are given the chance to make a
difference in this world. Grateful people
don’t take others for granted. They don’t
assume that people should treat them
well or do things for them. They don’t
feel they are entitled to more for any rea-
son.
Sometimes we get so focused on
our ‘rights” that we forget to appreciate
what we do have. Having an “attitude of
gratitude” keeps us aware of appreciat-
ing things in our everyday life.
Sometimes we might complain
because our day isn’t what we hoped.
But when we are having a good day – do
we appreciate it?
Frustrations come from unmet
expectations but an attitude of thankful-
ness results in finding joy in life no mat-
ter what comes our way.
Gratitude affects kids. Kids who watch
grateful parents learn to be thankful.
Studies have shown that these kids who
feel and act more grateful tend to be
less materialistic, get better grades, set
higher goals, complain of fewer aliments
and feel more satisfied with their fami-
lies, friends and schools than those who
don’t.
When to express your gratitude. It is
obvious that gratitude should be given
when someone does you a favor or buys
you a gift. But there are times we usu-
ally take things for granted rather than
be thankful. For example:
When the kids are behaving.
You might think, “But kids should be-
have!” Showing thankfulness for their
good behavior will promote more good
behavior.
When someone does a job well.
I have tracked down a manager and re-
ported when a clerk treated me well. One
woman leaves soda and snacks on top of
the garbage can for the garbage man,
now - who would think of doing that?
When friends or family do you
a favor. We can easily overlook close
family or friends when it come s to be-
ing grateful. Notice when they do kind
things and show appreciation.
How to express your gratitude. There
are many ways to say “Thank You” but
Friends Help With Fundraiser
the best ways are those that are personal.
Make a sugarless dessert for someone
who is diabetic. Edge your neighbor’s
lawn when you do yours. Surprise the
kids with ice cream sundaes. Give your
spouse time to do what he or she en-
joys best. My sister-in-law cleaned my
house while I was at work one day. An-
other friend got someone to bring us a
load of wood just before a snowstorm.
Bring some goodies to the librarian who
is sweet to your kids.
Track your gratitude. Studies show
that keeping a gratitude journal can re-
duce depression. My husband and I have
a “Gratitude Journal” where we list the
blessings we have received. When we
go back and read these entries it lifts
our spirits. Studies also show that peo-
ple who do this have a positive outlook
about the future.
Benefits of gratitude. Researchers say
gratitude will improve our health. It is
no secret stress can make us sick and
is linked to several leading causes of
death. Studies show that those who have
gratitude as a personal trait have an edge
on the not so grateful when it comes to
health, especially stress. There are stud-
ies linking optimism to better immune
function, outcomes for people with se-
rious health problems and those prepar-
ing for surgery. Thankful people are less
likely to be depressed, envious, greedy
or alcoholic and more likely to sleep
soundly and take care of their health.
Gratefulness in the face of loss. Even
in the face of a tremendous loss or trag-
edy, gratitude is possible. Gratitude in
the aftermath of 9/11helped some peo-
ple avoid suffering from post-traumatic
stress disorder.
Cultivating gratitude and thankfulness.
Often people who have higher optimism
have faced losses and tragedy early in
life, suggesting that adversity can pro-
mote growth over time. But you don’t
have to wait for a tragedy to grow feel-
ings of gratitude you can start right now.
Change your negative thoughts from
what you don’t have to positive thoughts
about what you do have. Sometimes we
spend way too much time being nega-
tive. I see people focusing on what they
don’t have; the right body, the right job,
the right mate, etc. It makes our lives
more difficult and it has a bad effect on
the people around us.
Talk to yourself in creative, positive
and grateful ways. Saying “Thank You”
isn’t hard for most people. But acting
grateful- that takes more work. You
might have to change your thinking for
that to happen. Look for small things to
be grateful for. If you are facing a chal-
lenging situation, try to see the ways this
may benefit you eventually. For exam-
ple, coping with difficult people in your
family, on your job or in your neighbor-
hood can improve your patience and
understanding with effort. Rather than
seeing you’re 6 year old as a cranky, ir-
ritable problem you might reach a con-
clusion that your child is tired and needs
rest. Don’t fret if people don’t thank you
and make excuses about not thanking
you. Don’t sweat the small stuff in life.
In closing, try these things for
yourself. What’s the alternative? Grati-
tude is the best approach to life.
References: Dr.John H. Skiare,
2006, LifeScript, Healthy Living for
Women, 2011, Robert Emmons, Ph.D,
Researcher, UCDavis, 2011, Wall Street
Journal, 2010.
Banks–Vernonia Linear Trail
Wins ‘Project of the Year’
Left: Stan Zook with Kari Titus
Above: Liz White, Sheril McWhirter
and Lynn Shaw love Kari Titus!
On November 11 friends,
family and other community members
joined the Titus family and gathered
for a sit down dinner to help raise
funds for Kari Titus, who is battling
cancer. Billed as the “We Love Kari
Titus Fundraiser,” the dinner was
held at Black Bear and included
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lasagna, salad, bread and apple
crisp. Reservations were taken for
five seatings starting at 5:00 PM, and
friends and family served the meals
and drinks. Winners for raffle prizes
were drawn throughout the night. Kari
Titus was able to be on hand for the
entire evening, visiting with guests.
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COMPUTER &
INTERNET SERVICES
•Computer Servicing
• Upgrades & Repairs
• Office Supplies
• Media Transfers
• Ink and Toner Refills
503.429.TECH
• New & Used Computers in stock
• Cell Phone Service & Accessories
• Color Copies & Printing Available
• Notary Services
• Internet - DSL, Wireless & Dial up
866 Bridge Street, Vernonia
Washington County’s Department
of Land Use and Transportation is pleased
to announce that the Oregon Chapter of the
American Public Works Association (OR
APWA) has recognized a transportation
project managed by the department. OR
APWA selected the Banks-Vernonia
Linear Trail Extension and Trailhead
project as its Transportation Project of
the Year. The award recognizes quality,
innovation and cooperation among the
managing agency, its partners, consultants
and construction contractors.
Evaluation criteria included
public outreach efforts, environmental
design considerations, timely completion,
and overall safety factors. The project
completed the final two-thirds of a mile of
the 21-mile Banks-Vernonia State Trail,
extending it to the City of Banks. The
trail provides pedestrians, bicyclists and
equestrians with a pleasant and safe travel
route. In conjunction with the trail project,
the County also managed construction of
the Banks Trailhead parking area.
This project represented a
collaborative effort between Washington
County, the Oregon Parks and Recreation
Department, the Oregon Department of
Transportation and the City of Banks.
The $1.4 million trail project was
funded by a Federal Transportation
Enhancement Grant, the American
Recovery and Reinvestment Act (ARRA)
administered by the Oregon Department
of Transportation, the Oregon Parks and
Recreation Department, and Washington
County. Carter and Company was the
primary contractor.
The
project
commenced
construction in May 2010 and was
completed in October 2010. The Project
of the Year award was presented to County
Engineer Gary Stockhoff and Project
Manager Matt Meier on October 20, 2011
during the OR APWA Fall Conference
in Redmond. It was to be presented to
the Board of County Commissioners at
their regular board meeting on Tuesday,
October 25, 2011. Chairman Andy Duyck
said “This project presented a unique
opportunity for several jurisdictions to
pool resources to successfully deliver
a regionally-significant recreational
transportation enhancement.”
