in other words
14 2011
Why Parents Need to Stop Playing Dumb When it Comes to Smartphones
july12
By Diane K. Danielson
It seems every week now there
are teens being suspended from school
and even arrested for sending offensive
texts and posting inappropriate items on
Facebook (and Twitter). I expect this is
just the beginning. Why? Because almost
every child from age 10-18 is now going
to school, attending parties, and literally
sleeping with an Internet-connected mini-
computer that is always on and has all the
latest apps including a camera.
We might call it a phone, but when
was the last time your kid actually used
that smartphone you gave them to talk
to someone? The main uses are texting,
Facebooking, Tweeting, videotaping and
sharing all sorts of things that a generation
ago we wouldn’t share with anyone other
than our diary or our best friend … and
most the time that didn’t work out so well
on the privacy end either.
More importantly, when I say
“smartphone” I’m including iTouches.
Why? Because all it takes is a texting
or Skype app to turn an iTouch into an
iPhone.
How do smartphones contribute
to this recent increase in teenage stupidity?
1.
Smartphones are mini-computers.
They connect to the Internet. This means
that your child can access everything you
might normally block or supervise on your
home computer.
2. Smartphones encourage impulsivity.
We’ve all seen the ads on TV. Just snap a
photo and upload it to Facebook, Twitter
or YouTube within seconds. There’s no
heading home, booting up the computer,
downloading pictures from a camera and
having the time to sober up (literally, in
some cases) so that one might consider the
consequences.
3.
Smartphones are easily accessed
by others. Kids misplace things. Who
knows what other kids might do with
that smartphone if they found it? Even if
they don’t lose it, does your child have a
friend who might think it’s funny to post
something inappropriate or offensive from
your child’s phone? Or, perhaps your
child impulsively took a nude photo of him
or herself to send to a boy or girlfriend?
(Yes. They do this. Why? I’m not sure.
You’d have to ask Brett Favre about that.)
Yet, even if they didn’t intend to share
that photo, what might that questionable
“friend” with access to the phone do in an
impulsive moment?
4. Smartphones are with your kids in
the car. Despite the focus on the dangers
of texting while driving, we now have a
smartphone that pings whenever someone
posts an update. In November 2009,
the Pew Research Center’s Internet &
American Life Project found that one in
four (26%) of American teens of driving
age say they have texted while driving, and
half (48%) of all teens ages 12 to 17 say
they’ve been a passenger while a driver
has texted behind the wheel. That was in
a survey from a world before smartphones
ruled and Facebook and Twitter were
constantly beckoning.
5. Smartphones are with your kids
24/7. This means less sleep as they text,
Facebook and Tweet throughout the night.
As a result, they are not only exhausted
in school, they are likely sending sleep-
deprived, impulsive communications. It
also means no break from the daily stress
of being a teenager.
Unfortunately, smartphones both
encourage and exacerbate our children’s’
worst instincts when it comes to impulsive
behavior. This is why it is up to parents to
establish parameters and rules.
Parental Tasks:
• As always, talking with your child about
the consequences of inappropriate use of
smartphones is the best way to prevent
them from doing something stupid.
Create ground rules like: no curse words
or insults; no sending photos that would
upset their grandmother; and no joining
groups on Facebook that “hate” someone
or something.
• Review your bills. Check what times
your kids are sending texts. Also look for
spikes in application usage.
• Enable restrictions on your child’s iPhone
or iTouch. Go to Settings>Restrictions.
Unfortunately, these are all or nothing
options like turning off the Internet or
YouTube, so may not be feasible except
for the youngest children. It’s likely Droids
have something similar.
• You can also install an app like Mobicip
on your child’s iTouch or iPhone, which
replaces the Safari browser with a more
child-friendly one and provides reports for
monitoring your child’s Internet-related
activities.
• For monitoring texts there is My Mobile
Watchdog, which you set up with your
child (as opposed to Mobile Spy which you
set up without your child’s knowledge).
Remember, you own that smartphone and
your child’s use of it should be a privilege
that comes with restrictions, not a right.
• Take that phone, ipod, laptop, ipad,
and/or xbox live away at night. We
were teenagers once, so we all know
that most really bad judgments are
made after midnight. Enforce this night-
time technology blackout by doing the
following:
• Take the xBox Live and all
computers out of their rooms. Keep them
in a public space.
• Set up a charging station
in the kitchen or somewhere public
and demand that everyone
”check
in” their mobile devices (smartphone,
iTouch, iPad) each night or you stop
paying for them. This also gives you a
chance to access and do a spot-check.
The one thing that I hope you
take away from this article is that you
stop thinking of a smartphone, or an
iTouch, as a “phone” or a “hand-held
game.” They are fully functional, Internet-
connected computers that you are putting
in your child’s hands, often without any
supervision and/or limitations.
Recently, we saw two 14-year
olds get together for a joyride in the middle
of the night resulting in a horrific crash.
While we might not know exactly how this
all came about, I wouldn’t be surprised
to find that a few after-midnight text
messages enabled such stupidly impulsive
behavior.
We wouldn’t give the car keys to
our kids without a license, yet sometimes
handing them a smartphone can be just as
dangerous.
Reprinted courtesy of the Cohasset
Mariner.
Diane K. Danielson is a new media
marketing consultant who specializes
in helping businesses incorporate
social media into their marketing and
business development plans. See http://
dkdnewmedia.com for more information.
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