18
in other words
april26
2011
Better Parenting: Where Did You Learn to Act Like That?
By Sonia Spackman
A study from the University of
Michigan states that most kids spend
more time in front of the TV than doing
anything else except sleeping-- 28 hours
per week!
This gives an enormous
exposure to some really bad behavior.
Dr. Cynthia Scheibe analyzed how much
of children’s TV contained insults. You
will be surprised to read that close to
two-thirds of “pro-social” TV shows to
educate young children have characters
that insult each other. Regular TV
programs have insulting behavior 96%
of the time.
So what do these insulting nasty
behaviors have to do with your kids?
A lot! We deal with this problem
in our Vernonia schools every day.
Researchers have studied acts of violence
and the effect it has on kids. Much of the
behavior is intended to hurt other kids by
telling lies or secrets, or gossiping about
friends to other kids. Hurtful behavior
is done purposefully, like leaving some
kids out, ignoring or picking on kids.
These are behaviors that some kids use
to make themselves more popular.
Kids can’t get the real meaning.
The good intentions of educational
shows that use bad behavior as a means
of teaching a lesson are missing the mark
because young children are not able to
understand the “cause and effect” the
same way adults do.
The more kids watch, the worse
they think. “The more kids watched,
the crueler they would be to their
classmates,” reported Jamie Ostrove,
one of the study’s authors. Kids were 2.5
times more likely to be bossy, controlling,
and manipulative than violent in their
aggression.
Kids are learning tactics and
becoming expert bullies. One Study
called “Media Exposure, Aggression
and Pro-social Behavior During Early
Childhood” reported that TV teaches
boys to be physically aggressive and
girls to be relationally aggressive. They
report that kids’ friendships are worse the
more TV they watch.
Kids love the shows that are
spicy and full of unchecked meanness.
In one episode of a poplar show, a girl
made fun of her friend who likes things
she considers “nerdy.” She called her
brother a “loser” because of the way he
speaks. One of the stars referred to an
adult’s “man boobs.” And in a sub-plot
on the same show, one of the characters
portrayed an elderly grandfather as an
idiot. So what is the lesson for the kids
that are watching except to be cool like
these characters and learn their language?
Over time, relational aggression
is very damaging. A 2008 study in the
Journal of Communication reported that
victims of relational aggression suffer
with lower self-esteem, loneliness,
depression anxiety, and in extreme cases
are more likely to think suicidal thoughts
or consider homicidal actions.
There are no adult corrections or
reprimands, or any apologies given.
There is no consequence shown for
any of these behaviors. Some of these
comedies make it normal for kids to
interrupt, insult and dismiss each other
and not feel bad about it or experience
any consequences.
Things parents can try to turn their kids
in the right direction:
1) Teach your child LIMITS on wrong
behaviors. Let them know that it is not
okay to insult adults or call their brother
a loser, or to ridicule or mistreat friends
or to do any of the unpleasant things
popular characters on TV do to each
other.
2) Teach your child COURAGE. Teach
them that doing what is right is not always
popular. When they see a wrong, to tell
an adult is not easy. Ask your child to
“practice” courage by doing something
he or she knows is right. Ask your child
to share their experience with you.
3) Teach your child about SAFETY,
explaining how to act like a safe person.
Explain how they can keep themselves
safe and to care about how others feel.
Ask them to “practice” by asking one
person each day how they feel, especially
someone who is being picked on. Tell
them you would be interested in hearing
about it.
4) Teach your child KINDNESS and how
everyone has a battle they go through--
and how we treat people can make things
better or worse. Ask your child to have
compassion and understanding for those
who seem to need it and tell them you
would love to have them share their
experiences with you.
5) Teach your child about BREAKING
HABITS. In fact, tell yourself that it
takes courage to change. That breaking a
habit starts by practicing doing what you
want to do and practicing not doing what
you want to stop doing.
David Spackman, the WGS
counselor, is hoping to have the Ovation
Company return to Vernonia this fall for
an all-day interactive workshop for the
middle school students. Middle school
students will learn the above values
through a series of activities providing
the students with new perspectives on
what school life can look like, while
getting students to communicate with
each other outside their normal routines.
By the end of the workshop,
the vast majority of students use these
character traits in school and for the rest
of their lives. As a parent, I hope we all
promote these values in our own life,
in our families, and with our children,
where adults will ask our kids: “Where
did you learn to act like that?”
This fall, if The Ovation
Company does the workshop, please
plan on coming to the school and sitting
in the bleachers with a thermos of coffee
and your lunch and watch the inspiring
activities they do with the kids. I think
you will enjoy it and it will make a
difference in the way you live your life
in the future.
If you have any comments
or questions, feel free to e-mail
soniaspackman@msn.com or call (503)
429-654.
Resources: Martha Brockenbrough,
MSN TV, Dr. Cynthia Scheibe, and The
Ovation Company.
Rebuilding Vernonia, Part II
continued from front page
Brownfields Program has become a
proven program that has changed the
way contaminated property is perceived,
addressed, and managed. It is designed to
empower states, communities, and other
stakeholders in economic redevelopment
to work together in a timely manner
to prevent, assess, safely clean up, and
sustainably reuse brownfields.
Investors are often reluctant to
invest in these types of properties due
to contamination problems or fear of
a possible problem. Owners of these
properties often have difficulty selling
them and costs for clean-up can be
prohibitive. However, many of these
brownfields properties can be turned into
assets in a community by going through
an assessment or clean-up process.
Cleaning up and reinvesting
in these properties can increase the
local tax base, create job growth, and
utilizes existing infrastructure, all while
both improving and protecting local
environments.
With the grant application, the
City of Vernonia is taking the first step
towards helping local property owners
receive assistance with potential clean-
up and restoring their properties to
valuable use.
“One of the reasons we
started looking at this seriously is, if
the city as a whole is going through a
transformational paradigm shift, and we
are owning up to our past and looking
to a future that includes green buildings,
sustainability opportunities, then along
with that is taking a look at fixing our
soils so that investors, if they want to
borrow money from a bank, can clearly
step in and build on land that a bank will
lend on,” says Haack.
Private property owners who
meet brownfields eligibility requirements
are encouraged to participate. The
process is community-driven; citizens
help in the planning process and there
is no cost to the property owner for
environmental assessments. The
performance period for clean-up is
usually three years.
Thousands of properties have
been assessed and cleaned up through
the EPA Brownfields Program. Many
new uses may be possible on brownfields
sites depending on the nature and severity
of contamination and the community’s
vision for the clean-up process.
“It’s a tool that is available,”
says Haack. “The city knows we have
some problem properties. I see this
as an opportunity. It’s meant to help
people that own land discover and fix
problems.”
Upon receipt of a Brownfields
Assessment Grant, the process of getting
a brownfields site cleaned up involves
three steps. First, before applying to
be part of the assessment process, each
property must meet the definition of
a brownfields site. A brownfields site
is a real property where expansion,
redevelopment, normal use or reuse
may be complicated by the presence
or potential presence of a hazardous
substance, pollutant, or contaminant.
Certain information must be provided to
EPA for EPA staff to make an eligibility
determination.
After eligibility is determined,
an assessment can take place.
continued on page 19
