18
in other words
february22
2011
Better Parenting:
By Sonia Spackman, MA, MFT
We know about the “face to face”
bully. Their attacks are physical, using
hands and fists or weapons to scare, hurt
or to wound others.
“Relational Aggression” is often
called “behind the back” bullying. These
are acts of emotionally tormenting an
individual within a group of friends.
These emotional bullies use relationships
to start rumors, humiliate, intimidate,
tease, exclude, manipulate and give the
silent treatment to attack their friends.
The terrible thing about why
these bullies bully is that most of the
time there is NO REASON! It can be a
“random act” toward whoever happens to
be close by. The victims of bullies can be
kids who look different in color, in body
shape, with a personality the bully thinks
he or she can intimidate.
Reasons for bullying differ.
Bullies may want attention, power or
kids to join in with them in order to get
social status with peers. Last month in
Reno, Nevada, six middle school girls,
twelve to thirteen, were arrested after
100 students were invited on Facebook
to take part in “Attack a Teacher Day.”
Eighteen students accepted the invitation
to participate in the attacks from 7:00
A.M. to 9:00 A.M. The teachers targeted
were shocked by the arrests because
the six girls were good students. They
were normal kids. Some held leadership
positions, while others had top grades.
People have asked me: “Do
bullies have low self-esteem?” No, they
don’t and they never have. They enjoy
bullying. They like the attention and
recognition they get from peers for being
The New Bullying and Ways You Can Protect Your Child
the bully. They think they have a right
to pick on “wimps.” They say “wimpy”
kids deserve it.
Some parents have said to me:
“Bullying has always been around, kids
have to learn to deal with it.” Except that
the kids getting picked on are the ones
who can’t fight back or deal with it.
Some schools have used
peer mediation as the answer. Peer
mediation is appropriate for school
disputes when two parities have equal
power and responsibility. However, the
victim should not be victimized again
by a process that somehow makes them
responsible for being the victim. David
Austin, a middle school teacher, states:
“There can be no compromise; bullying
is always wrong.”
Meredith Monteville, retired
middle school counselor, stated that “zero
tolerance” is also an ineffective strategy.
“Sending someone home for three days
to play X-box just allows him or her to
come back to the same situation they left.
Zero tolerance is a waste of time. You
aren’t changing the behavior of a bully.”
There are common assumptions
and some adults are misguided about the
bullying problem, believing that bullying
is not a serious problem.
What these adults don’t
understand is that bullying takes away
students’ opportunity to learn and creates
wounds that can last a lifetime. One of
the home activities given to Friendship
Group students at Washington Grade
School was to interview adults who
had witnessed bullying or experienced
bullying while they were in school.
When asked why they still remember the
incident; every adult had scars from their
experience. They made statements such
as, “it was embarrassing,” “very hurtful,”
“hurt that stays in your heart and mind
forever.”
Younger and older kids alike
have physical discomfort, feeling sick or
complaining of stomach aches and not
wanting to go to school. Victims miss
school more often, fall behind in school
or eventually drop out of school.
Bullying has left educators and
parents asking what are we doing wrong?
How can kids be so mean? Aren’t
the schools doing anything about this
problem?
What can be done? Colby
College professor Lyn Mikel Brown
believes most of the “top-down”
programs look good but don’t go far
enough. Brown says, you have to engage
kids in creative ways to work through
the issues-- such as classroom work,
where you have kids sitting together and
processing the information… that is the
most powerful work.” A whole-school
culture shift needs to happen. That takes
the commitment and active involvement
of teachers, support professionals,
administrators, parents and students.
Schools need prevention and
intervention programs to define bullying
and its impact, provide facts and work
with the kids teaching them strategies
such as activating the “bystander,” a
student who is neither victim or bully
to stand up and say, “You are wrong to
make her cry.” This can stop bullying in
its tracks. This is not easy, but kids can be
taught the right strategies.
Another approach, for online
bullies, might look like this: “I don’t
think that was right what you wrote, and I
am going to tell my friends to delete this
off Facebook.”
We need to start teaching basic
information in preschool and kindergarten,
when children are first beginning to form
friendships. As we begin to teach basic
social skills, it is important we give kids
strong messages: “to treat others in the
same way they would want to be treated”.
Here in the Vernonia School
District, children third to fifth grade are
participating in Steps to Respect lessons,
a bullying prevention program taught by
the grade school counselor. In addition,
today, Tuesday, February 22, parents and
public are invited to observe a special
bullying program presented by the Ovation
Company (http://ovationcompany.com/
programs-connecting-the-dots/), called
“connecting the dots.” This program is
presented throughout the United States
and has received excellent reviews. The
training, in the Washington Grade School
gym, will take most of the school day and
is specifically designed for fourth and
fifth graders.
Also, please feel free to pick up
additional handouts at the Vernonia Public
Library on how you can help protect your
child or children against bullying. If you
have any questions, feel free to e-mail me
anytime, at soniaspackman@msn.com. I
will get back to you as soon as possible.
Resources: Trudy Ludwig, Author of
“My Secret Bully”; Mary Ellen Flannery,
“Does It Get Better?”; NEAToday,
January/February
2011;
David
Spackman, WGS Counselor; Martin
Griffith, The Associated Press, January
7, 2011.
Natural Path to Health: Diabetes Part II - Diagnosis and Risk Factors
By Dr. Carol McIntyre
In our last discussion, we touched on the differ-
ent types of diabetes. Overall, diabetes is the seventh
leading cause of death in the U.S. and that number is
rising all the time! Soon, it will beat out cardiovascular
disease and cancer! Type II diabetes or Non-Insulin
Dependent Diabetes (NIDDM) is the most common,
and accounts for 85% of all diabetic patients in the U.S.
Although Type II is called non-insulin dependent, we
have seen a growing trend over the past years in which
people with type II diabetes DO become dependent on
insulin.
This disturbing trend is mainly due to the fact
that people do not control their intake of sugar and
are generally completely unaware of what they’re re-
ally eating. When I say this, I mean that people are
not reading the list of ingredients in the foods they eat.
Many are eating a large amount of processed foods full
of sugar and hydrogenated oils which are extremely
damaging to our bodies. The world of fast food and
easy, pre-cooked foods designed for our busy lives are
literally killing our nation!
In order to be diagnosed with Type II diabetes,
one must have a fasting glucose reading ≥ 140mg/dl
on at least two separate occasions. There is also an
Oral Glucose Tolerance Test (OGTT) that can be per-
formed. This is when the doctor has you drink pure
glucose over a 5-minute period and then takes a blood
draw 2 hours later. If your blood glucose reading is ≥
200mg/dl at that point, then it is considered a positive
diagnosis for Type II diabetes. This test is usually used
for confirmation of diagnosis after the fasting glucose
readings come back high. OGTT is modified for diag-
nosis of gestational diabetes.
Risk factors for type II diabetes are:
1. SAD-- Standard
American Diet! Yes, it’s
true… As mentioned be-
fore, the “typical” Ameri-
can diet consisting of fast
food,
boxed/pre-made
food and foods loaded with
sugar are the main contrib-
uting factor in the develop-
ment of type II diabetes.
2. Lack of exer-
cise
3. Stress!
4. Obesity
5. Family his-
tory-- Yes, there is a fam-
ily component. It is not a
genetic component as in
cancer, but more of a ten-
dency to have poor eating
habits passed on through
generations of families!!!
This is why education is
SO important!
Signs and symptoms of diabetes are:
1. The 3 P’s: polydipsia (excessive thirst),
polyuria (frequent urination), polyphagia (increased
hunger)
2. Weight loss
3. Increased vaginal yeast infections with itch-
ing in females
4. Neuropathy (common in the feet)
5. Foot ulcers (due to poor circulation in the
extremities)
6. Atherosclerosis
7. Microvascular disease including kidney
failure and vision loss (Diabetes is the leading cause of
blindness in the US!)
Diabetes is a complex disease affecting many
different organ systems in the body. It is important to
discuss any symptoms or concerns you may have with
a qualified health care professional. The best way to
avoid becoming a Type II diabetic is to be conscious of
what you’re putting into your body, exercise and avoid-
ing stress (OK, so maybe we can’t “avoid” stress… but
learning positive ways to deal with stress is a step in the
right direction!).
Next time, we will discuss nutrition and the use
of supplements to help with the treatment of diabetes,
as well as the current prescription drugs used to treat
diabetes. We will also discuss the benefits of exercise
and stress-reduction as they relate to the treatment of
diabetes. Thank you again for joining me. Be well and
Take good care~
Dr. Carol McIntyre is a 2008 graduate of the
National College of Natural Medicine in Portland,
Oregon, and has lived in Vernonia for over 5 years.
She currently practices from her office located at
786 Bridge Street treating all types of disease using
Naturopathic and Chinese medicine including
acupuncture, spinal manipulation, herbal and
nutritional therapy. Business hours are Tuesday and
Thursday 9:00 AM to 1:00 PM and Wednesday 3:00 to
8:00 PM. Call (503) 481-4096 to schedule.
