in other words
Voices From the Crowd:
By Shawn Boutwell
Like just about every “Flat-
Lander” who moves to the hills of Ver-
nonia, I had great expectations of my
new life in the country. The stories of
what brings different kinds of people to
our little town are always interesting.
This is my story. The story of how I
landed in Vernonia and was almost initi-
ated into one of its most powerful secret
orders-- a society so secret that there is
no record anywhere of its members. I
accidentally stumbled upon this secret
order and almost gained membership
into the Pajama Wearing Society of Ver-
nonia.
When I first came to Portland
fourteen years ago, it was only to be a
three-day visit, a tour of the west coast
as part of a bicycling trip from Boston to
New Mexico. After hundreds of hours in
training, and at least one hundred books
on Portland, we arrived in Portland, cy-
cling, at the end of November. Some-
how, in all my careful research of the
Great Northwest, I missed the part about
how much it rains.
So there I was, riding a bicy-
cle towards the coast on Highway 26,
in November, sleeping in a tent, wet
and muddy and cold. The books I had
packed across country became fire start-
ers; I was miserable, I tell ya, absolutely
miserable. I thought about my misery as
I pushed the loaded bike uphill for eight
hours-- only four miles further along the
road. I was wet, cold and did I mention
miserable? I decided to go back to Port-
land and live.
I soon met a girl, married her,
and started a family. Over nine years
our family grew to a massive, account-
draining, priority-changing, five. As our
children grew, and the world changed,
our trail of tears led us further and fur-
ther from the city. And here we are in
Vernonia.
Now, everywhere I have ever
traveled, and the people I’ve met, and
the way I was raised, pajamas were for
the cozy, hot chocolate drinking, getting
ready for bed, sleepy time tea, snuggling
under homemade quilts, and the Christ-
mas Eve kind of night. So how could I
have known that there was more to the
story, use, and now history of pajamas?
I thought I was more cultured, well trav-
eled, and even well read. But after just
a few days of living in Vernonia, I had
reached full enlightenment on the mat-
ter. There were more uses for pajamas
than for the largest roll of duct tape.
Getting gas, going to the grocery store,
walking your dog, football games, even
horseback riding. In Vernonia, pajamas
january 5
2010
Out On the Town in My Pajamas
are common dress-- just like regular
jeans. They are so colorful, too: blue
with yellow polka-dots, pink (just pink),
white with little red hearts, you name it--
we’ve got it.
Here I am, in the cutest little
town, full of pickup trucks with rifles
in rear windows, people on horseback,
a swimming hole in the middle of town-
- even a paved bike trail inviting fellow
cyclists from all over to visit Vernonia.
People come from everywhere to par-
ticipate in our festivities, and in, what I
have come to find out is the secret, whis-
pered claim to fame, the Pajama Wear-
ing Culture of Vernonia.
When I mentioned to my boss
that scenes from the movie Twilight
were filmed in our little town, he called
me a liar, and said something under his
breath about chickens, and to my sur-
prise, wearing pajamas.
“Am I missing out on some spe-
cial, almost fraternal secret society here
in the home of the Ax Men?” I thought to
myself.
I’ve even overheard it whispered
that if you get pulled over by a police of-
ficer on Bridge Street and have pajamas
on, you’ll get off with a warning.
You know I’ve never been a
real, committed pajama-wearing person,
but with the cold temperatures here in
Vernonia, I bought a pair; a simple pair
19
really, with a blue, gray, and green plaid
design.
And that’s when it almost hap-
pened. It was a cold night, a few years
after our arrival here. I had slipped into
my comfortable pajamas, stretched out
on the couch, enjoying the dry heat of
our wood stove. And I got a hankering
for some ice cream like never before.
I got up from the couch, and thought
about the work it would take to put on
some street clothes. Quickly, I put on
my coolest leather jacket and got my
wallet and keys. On my way out, in the
corner of my eye, I saw my reflection in
a mirror. Surely, plaid flannel would go
with my leather? I hesitated, thinking
for a moment about the pajama culture,
fitting in, and possibly avoiding a ticket.
I realized that going out on the town in
my pajamas would be my initiation into
the secret order of the Pajama Wearing
Society of Vernonia. I fought the temp-
tation, put on a pair of jeans, and felt re-
ally good about it!
Names, places, and other facts regard-
ing the Society of Pajama wearers have
been changed in order to protect the in-
nocent and other agents that have infil-
trated its ranks. Poetic license has been
taken in order for future whistle blowers
to come forth and give their stories.
Another Round: More Words of Wisdom About Beer
By Scott Laird
2009 Holiday Ale Festival:
“Oh Imperial Stout, Oh Impe-
rial Stout, How much I love to
taste you!”-- I was highly an-
ticipating this year’s visit to the
Portland Holiday Ale Festival in
early December, and, of course, I
was not disappointed. This year
was the 14th annual winter fest-- held under clear tents
in Portland’s Pioneer Courthouse Square. This festival
brings together around four dozen one-of-a-kind robust
winter ales, many of them created especially for this
event, plus some special kegs
that were tapped and available
on Wednesday and Thursday.
It’s a chance to taste beers and
ales you will find nowhere else-
- all in one place, and a chance
to taste vintage ales and reserve
barrels. Oh yes-- and they had a
pretty cool coaster, too.
I went for tastings on
Thursday afternoon, and found a
manageable and mellow crowd
that seemed intent on seriously
tasting ales and discussing them.
Even early in the afternoon, it
was a good crowd and an enjoy-
able atmosphere, which lent it-
self to a fine afternoon of ales.
Often at these kinds of beer festivals, I try a
lot of beers, dislike the majority of them, enjoy a hand-
ful, and find a couple of real standouts. At this year’s
Holiday Ale Fest, I was almost finished tasting before I
came across one I didn’t really enjoy.
In looking back over my notes, I am realizing
that, surprise, surprise-- mostly what I tasted and liked
were Stouts and Porters. I am also realizing that to tru-
ly appreciate and enjoy this festival, you have to attend
for more than one day. I spent my day tasting those
porters and stouts and never even got to the strong ales,
Belgians and reds. There were also some interesting
IPA’s and a few other surprises I never even got to try.
But anyway-- back to those standouts.
Barrel-Select Baltic Porter ‘07 from Cas-
cade Brewing in Portland-- This was one of the Spe-
cial Tappings on Thursday. It was sweet and especially
tangy with a nice vanilla flavor. Barrel Aged Old Baba
Yaga, an Imperial Stout from Bear Republic Brew-
ing in Cloverdale, California-- This was a strong ale
at 11.5 ABV that was aged in French oak barrels and re-
ally let that Cabernet flavor through. MacTarnahan’s
Imperial Chocolate Stout, from MacTarnahan’s
Brewing in Portland was smooth and balanced and
especially flavorful. Da Grind Buzz, a Kona Coffee
Imperial Stout from Kona Brewing in Kailua Kona,
Hawaii-- This was also a Special Tapping on Thursday
and was very thick and heavy with that strong coffee
flavor. Arctic Blast ‘09
Vanilla Porter from Ver-
tigo Brewing in Hillsboro
was smoky and smooth
with a subtle vanilla fla-
vor. This is a small local
brewery-- give them a try
if you see them on tap in
your travels. Chocolate
Huckleberry Stout from
Laughing Dog Brewing
in Ponderay, Idaho--
This was, surprise again--
chocolatey and very fruity.
Tasted like dessert! And
last but not least, Black
Sand Porter from Kona
Brewing-- Just a well-made, smooth and mellow Por-
ter-- the kind for drinking everyday!
This is a great festival-- especially if you like
dark winter ales. Mark it on next year’s calendar as
soon as you get one! The first weekend in December,
don’t miss it!
This Month’s Sign that 2012 is Almost Here-- Sap-
poro Beer from Japan has announced they are making
a batch of beer from barley grown in space! That’s
right, barley, grown at the International Space Station
as part of an experiment to see if crops could be grown
to support astronauts during long distance space travel,
is being brewed into our favorite beverage. Beer from
outerspace? What’s next-- Solent Green and Logan’s
Run? Probably not. But what makes no sense about
this, is, they’re only making 100 bottles-- AND THEY
ARE NOT FOR SALE! Make beer, but don’t sell it
to us to drink? And not just any beer, but space beer?
What’s the point? I think it might be the end of the
world as we know it.
Here’s Some Good News- Hopworks Urban Brewery
(HUB) in Portland has built a Bike Bar. What’s a Bike
Bar, you might ask? Exactly like what it sounds-- a
traveling bar built onto a bike. Commissioned by HUB
and built by Metrofiets, the HUB Bike Bar, carrying
pizzas and sporting a sound system, holds two kegs of
cold HUB craft beer below an inlaid wood bar. The
Bike Bar will make appearances around Portland at
various bike events throughout the year. Leave it to
Portland to think of this!
A Winter Warmer-- My friend Bob shared a Rogue
Chocolate Stout with me the other day. I’ve had this
before, but forgot just how good it really is. Mellow,
balanced, tasty and very chocolatey. This is a good Or-
egon beer you should look for this winter. It’s like a
steamy cup of hot cocoa on a winter ‘s day. Except it’s
cold. And it’s beer.
Join us next time for Another Round!
