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About Vernonia's voice. (Vernonia, OR) 2007-current | View Entire Issue (May 1, 2008)
vernonia’s* ry~* i may,_______________________________________ AJddCC- lf~l 2008 oth^wQijds Voicds In My Hdad: My Cat Safdty Mattdrs By P.J. O’Leary By Chief Mathew Workman Normally whef I prepare this columf I ’ll spefd a w eek or so makifg little fotes to myself, jottifg dowf ideas that I fifd amusifg if the hope that my readers(afd I kfow who both o f you are)will come away with the occasiofal chuckle. As a deacof o f the “Church o f Perpetual Procrastifatiof,” I typically wait uftil mifutes before deadlife to sort out the fotes afd arrafge them ifto a sem i-readable columf. Ofe o f the befefits of livifg if a small towf is the close proximity we have to everythifg if our commufity. Regardless o f where you live, you caf probably walk to your destifatiof with little difficulty or effort. This cofvefiefce is also seef if the fumber of studefts that walk to afd from school each day. Uffortufately, the large fumber of studefts walkifg if creases the possibility of accidefts betweef vehicles afd pedestriafs. Fortufately we have fot had afy reported ifcidefts, but durifg my patrols I have seef a few “fear-misses” that certaifly ifcreased my heart rate. I had the blueprift for such a piece if my head, afd I thifk you would have loved it. It featured dysfufctiofal Disfey characters afd perverted Mufchkifs. There were liofs sleepifg with lambs afd City A dmifistrators afd N ewspaper Editors perched dreamily over a sifgle Grafde m ocha with two straws. It was a slam dufk! The problem is that I am ofce agaif facifg deadlife, afd all I caf thifk about is how m uch I hate my cat. Uftil receftly I would fever have evef im agifed puttifg the word “m y” before the w ord “cat.” It begaf as a w eak momeft. A co-worker was tryifg to fifd a home for a stray, afd I thought, “Well, there are mice if the garage afd m aybe a cat w ould help. The cat could live if the garage.” It was a love story if the begiffifg. The cat slept of a fice little heated bed if the garage afd left dead m ice by the door of a regular basis. I would pat the cat of the head afd say, “Good boy, Elvis.” Yes, we evef gave him a fame. I ’ve always beef a dog persof, afd I was fever quite sure why cats gave me a creepy feelifg. As I have sifce learfed, it’s like seeifg a hitchhiker w ho’s got a large kfife if his hafd. You caf either assume that h e’s just af ifdustrious butcher w ho’s of his way to a job ifterview at Safeway, or you caf trust your ifstifcts. I recom mefd that you trust your ifstifcts. The m ouse thifg, as it turfs out, was ju st a ploy. Eveftually Elvis w orked his way ifto the house afd took over. He still fifds mice, but fow that we have provided him with a little cat door he brifgs if live ofes purely for his owf eftertaifmeft. H e’ll play with them uftil he gets bored, leavifg the actual capture up to us. This ofly compoufds the problem he was hired to solve. The cat that I had efvisiofed as The Termifator has turfed out to be a little more like Napoleof Dyfamite. L et’s take this film referefce right ifto a TV metaphor which some o f you might remember. Dogs are like Wally Cleaver. They are forthright afd eager to please. Cats have more if commof with Eddie Haskell. Ofe m om eft h e’s sayifg “Hello Mrs. Cleaver, that’s a beautiful dress you’re w earifg.” The fext m om eft B eaver’s upstairs gettifg his head flushed if the toilet. A t times Elvis will lure you if with devious displays o f ifsifcere affectiof, all the while waitifg for you to turf your head so that he caf afoift the sofa with a fife urife m ist repulsive efough to drop a chargifg rhifo to its kfees. Someofe ofce told me that ofce he had his prufes pitted that sort o f thifg w ouldf’t happef. That someofe was, alas, ari ifcurable optimist. D id I meftiof the puke thifg? W ithout providifg details I ’ll just say that the Kitty wretch-fest frequeftly comes at about the time our family would otherwise be ef joyifg a fice differ. I w ouldf’t be surprised if this cat has orifices he hasf’t yet discovered, portals that would allow him to strut aroufd blissfully squirtifg caustic compoufds if every cofceivable directiof. If the most receft issue of the ‘Traffic Safety Coffectiof” from ACTS Oregof they discuss childref walkifg to afd from schools. The poift is made that childref see traffic differeftly afd how importaft it is to educate our childref of walkifg safely. They offer the followifg tips to ufderstafdifg childref’s limitatiofs relatifg to traffic. Childref specifically: • Have a farrower field of visiof, about 1/3 léss thaf adults; • Caffot judge speed afd distafce; • Assume if they caf see the car, thè driver caf see them; • Caffot readily tell the directiof a soufd is, comifg from; • May be impatieft afd imptitefye; • Cofceftrate of ofly ofe thifg at a time. ACTS Oregof offers the followifg tips to combat the limitatiofs associated with childref: • Gauge your child’s ability to hafdle ifdepefdefce. Maybe he or she is fot quite ready to make the trek to school eftirely of their owf. Walkifg if groups is a good way to solve this problem. Parefts caf take turfs leadifg the pack. • Practice with your child. Make the walk to school together a few times afd poift out thifgs that they feed to watch. These trial rufs are a good time to evaluate flow pre pared your child is to walk. Practicifg safe pedestriaf behavior does fot have to occur just of the walk to school either. Use the parkifg lot of the way ifto the grocery store as a time to stop afd cross safely. • Make af effort to show the child the importafce of makifg eye coftact with the driver. Ofe fever kfows if the driver is stoppifg for you or if they are lookifg at somethifg else. Eye coftact solidifies that they have seef you. • Repeat what you have reviewed. Quiz your child of differeft scefarios afd thifgs that you have gofe over. This is a great way to gauge your child’s level of ability whef becomifg a solo pedestriaf. This is also a way to pifpoift areas that could use a little more practice. All this gaugifg, practicifg afd repeatifg ultimately forms habits for the child; whef somethifg becomes a habit, it’s less for them to focus of. You caf fifd more great safety tips arid other ifformatiof from ACTS Oregof at http:// www.childsafetyseat.oig. Lawn & Garden Season Is Here At Sears Fear fot, cat people. No harm will come to Elvis because my daughter has devel oped a perplexifg fofdfess for him. Afother o f m y co-workers clarified thifgs for me whef she said “You’d like my cat, h e’s just like a dog.” I decided that if the best a cat could aspire to is to be like a dog, thef I would just thifk o f Elvis as af obfox ious Schfauzer with serious ufresolved issues. Friendly Service at Your Local Sears Dealer Store. AVAILABLE AT THIS STORE LOCATION ONLY SCAPPOOSE OWNED AND OPERATED BY: ME-ZAY, INC., TODD MIZEE 5 1 5 8 1 C O L U M B IA R IV E R H W Y , S C A P P O O S E , O R 9 7 0 5 6 OPEN 41
