2010
News
3
Young Advocates for Peace organizes PeaceFest
E use B rown _____________
After its successful
chocolate bar sale in the
winter, during which a
couple hundred dollars
were raised for endangered
species and homeless shelters,
Young Advocates for Peace
is taking on a new project.
They are organizing a Peace
Concert, with the working
title "PeaceFest 2010," which
aims to bring together local
musicians to encourage peace
and raise money for various
peace causes, including relief
to Haiti.
"I'm really excited to see
local musicians perform and
for the community to support
peace," Dr. Stacy Erickson,
club adviser, said.
Artists that are going to
perform on May 22 include
Top Hat Confederacy, a
group led by Alex Koehler
and Colton Erickson, juniors,
and Travis Williams and The
Love, featuring Josh Clark,
junior. Other local bands
and musicians have offered
to sign on, but have not yet
confirmed.
"If you thought you liked
peace already," Koehler said,
"we will spread it like you
won't believe."
The idea for the Peace
Concert came about at the
beginning of the year, starting
as a possible Battle of the
Bands. After considering
that battles are not very
peaceful, the group decided to
rename it the PeaceFest. YAP
hopes that this concert will
encourage peace awareness
and service projects through
the community, and expects
local peace causes and local
musicians to be benefited from
this event.
"The goal of our group
is to project peace into the
community through peaceful
acts that support a kinder
world," Colton said.
Admission is free, but
concertgoers are advised
to bring money for shirts,
concessions and donations.
The concert will be on May 22
at 7 p.m. in the Auditorium.
If you are a musician in the
West Linn area who would like
to perform at PeaceFest, please
contact Erickson at ericksoc@
wlhs.wlwv.kl2.or.us or (503)
475-9470.
FROM
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November 19,1986: How to pick up chicks (condensed version)
you seen Stephanie Nutt?"
Either way, she has to respond
to you, so you know that she
just won’t ignore you, because
J ason L ecorre & G raeme S anpell she doesn't see that such a
harmless question is actually
Caution: Anyone who
reads this should do so with
a pick-up line. Since you are
asking a question that you
a light heart, and realize that
this was done purely for fun.
know you will get a negative
The following material does
response to, don't breakdown
when she coyly says, "No,
not necessarily reflect the
sorry I haven’t seen her." Be
opinions of the writers or the
polite, then on your departure
Amplifier staff.
from the fille say something
Part I
like, "See you around."
For shy guys it’s
Next time you see her will
sometimes hard to meet girls
hopefully be at a social event,
(aka: chicks, nookies, dames,
like going to Round Table, or
broads, wenches, tarts, skirts,
maybe at a party. Now it gets
and schnookie-pot-pies). So
fun. Be completely obnoxious,
here at the Amp we decided
but not to her. Do stuff like
to do something, because
dance around and sing at the
after all, a paper serves its
top of your voice, off-key.
readers. This story is to help
You should still be nice
guys who don’t have chicks
though because 99.99% of all
to learn how to pick them
girls say that sweetness is what
up, and help those that have
chicks decide if she’s right for turns them on to a guy, not
some guy trying to impress
him.
them, and why should you
First you must leave your
try to impress a girl? After
place of domain with one
all, your care-free attitude
thought in your head: every
shouldn't show that you want
girl wants it. It’s a fact of life.
this chick. Trust me, girls are
That’s where you come in.
not impressed by you buying
They're just like fish, there are
them a coke and paying for it
loads of them, all you have to
with a twenty-dollar bill.
do is hook 'em and reel them
Actually, girls would be
in, but knowing how to fish is
more impressed if you asked
the hard part.
to borrow money and then
When you find a girl you'd
instead of buying her a coke,
like to know better go up to
buy her a rose and tell her that
her and say ’’Hi" and then
they were fresh out of coke.
ask her a question like, "Have
Always treat her like your
equal, never any higher.
Second, if you decide
there might be something
between you and her, get her
phone number and call her
nonchalantly and talk about
stuff that doesn't matter, like
pockets, for instance. Get to
be a really good friend and
keep asking her out. Never
get too rad on her, just the
usual whatever. Then drive
her home. Keep this up until
the point where she just goes
crazy and forces you down.
This way in the morning when
she regains consciousness she
has only herself to blame and
you're off the hook.
Stay good friends, (or
whatever you consider your
status) and keep going out.
Whenever you're with friends
and she's there, neglect her a
little. It will help you when
you two get together later that
night. You see, she’ll figure that
now she has you all to herself,
she should take advantage of
the situation, and nine times
out of ten, she will.
When the inevitable time
comes to break up, don’t get
too heartbroken on the inside,
because hey, you got what
you want and you NEVER
let her think you're not sad.
Otherwise, she'll tell all her
friends that you’re a non
feeling, snobbish, stuck up,
and egotistical male, all of
which is basically true, and
you'll never have a chance
with any of her friends.
Part II
If you already have a chick,
here’s what you want to look
for in her. You have to be sure
that your interests and hers
clash terribly. To have some
interests in common is all
right, but it keeps things more
fun if you have a few things
in common. Also, even if you
think some of the activities
she likes are stupid, don't let
her know it or she will hold
it against you forever. What I
mean by "it keeps things more
interesting" is that if you guys
know about the same things
you'll have nothing to talk
about. It keeps conversation
more interesting if, let's say,
you know more about cars,
but she knows more about
dancing. You see, that way
when her car beaks down you
can impress the hell out of
her by fixing it for her. And
then you get to pretend you're
impressed when she's teaching
you about dancing. That's
enough about the person
herself for now. Let’s talk about
the single most important
feature, THE BOD.
Although the body may not
matter to you it will help you
out in the long run if she has a
rad one (body) because of the
simple fact that your chick is a
reflection of you. (Not mentally
mind you.) If she's ugly you
might get comments from youi
friends like, "She'd look cuter
if I hit her in the face with a
shovel."
You have to remember
a chick is more than just a
person, she is, in a way, a prize
which you have won, and
which you’d like to show off to
everyone.
There are three aspects to
the body which are important
to guys, the legs, and two
others we can’t print, so let's
talk about the legs.
Legs should be shapely, not
ridden with fat, and covered
with hair. Unfortunately, this
is the aspect looked at last,
so no matter how hard you
(girls) work on your legs they
will be disregarded until last,
or maybe not even seen at all.
(I’m not saying you can't work
on other areas)
All in all the general
message of this article is that
guys who think they are too
shy to pick up girls really
aren't, and those who aren't
shy should watch out for what
they are getting.
If you really like someone
who isn’t really that pretty, or
doesn't have a bodacious bod,
don't fret, it isn't really that
important. Just remember:
Beauty is only skin deep. (And
if you believe that, there's a
bridge in Brooklyn I'd like to
sell you.)