Entertainment
_____________________ m C
We'll pop your culture: good T V gets the shaft
, J ohn C ampbell & M ike G orgone
Columnists
Due to our comments in the
previous issue, we are legally
obligated to state that our
views and opinions are not
those of the Amplifier or its
staff (not including those brave
souls who choose to stand
with us above the seeping pit
of scum that is mainstream
Hollywood). This is written
of our own free will and not
because of the class-action
suit filed against us by the
producers of "House Party 4,"
or the pressure from the Disney
goons threatening our families
(please send help). No, this
is being written out of what
goodness is left in our mostly
dark hearts.
In this installment, we'd
like to shy away from the
silver screen and lean towards
its red-headed stepchild,
television; more specifically
that wedge of television that
actually entertains and is then
cancelled by the buffoonish
actions of the idiotic network
presidents. We're talking about
television that's too good to be
on television.
While many brilliant TV
writers have gone through this
experience, this is the story of
one such man; more of a god
than a man really. His name
is Joss Whedon and he had
a vision: a hybrid of science
fiction and western. He called
this vision "Firefly."
"Firefly" premiered on the
FOX network on Sept. 20,2002.
Unfortunately this so called
premiere was marred by the
fact the network refused to
air Whedon's original pilot.
Instead of the two-hour
long pilot, which perfectly
exemplified his series, they
demanded a substitute pilot
which was a more actioned-up
adventure that would appeal to
the NASCAR watching, beer-
guzzling American stereotype
that is FOX's viewership.
This, compacted with shifting
time slots and episodes being
aired out of order, resulted in
a negligible amount of people
who saw the episodes in their
original network run.
And of course, those money
grubbers at the FOX network
assumed after only 10 aired
episodes that the show would
be a flop and thus cancelled
it out of hand. One thing
networks must learn is that
fans, who call themselves
Browncoats, will never give up
on a series they love.
Write-in campaigns and
DVD sales led to a feature film
entitled, "Serenity" (available
on Universal DVD, wherever
movies are sold). But one
movie is not enough and
fans are now demanding a
trilogy! Thanks to an internet
podcast called, "The Signal"
(available for download from
iTunes), a documentary, "Done
The Impossible" (available
for purchase on Amazon,
com), a graphic novel, "Those
Left Behind" (available in
bookstores nationwide), and
numerous other items that you
can purchase, you too can help
to support the Browncoats and
our quest to bring "Firefly"
back.
Other great shows like
"Arrested Development,"
"The Tick," "Greg The Bunny,"
"John Doe," "Millennium,"
"Undeclared," "Dark Angel,"
"Andy Richter Controls the
Universe," "Oliver Beene," "The
Pitts," "Futurama," "Profit" and
of course "The Adventures
of Brisco County Jr" starring
B-movie god Bruce Campbell
have also been assassinated by
FOX.
Despite the long, long, long,
long list of programs that FOX
has left to die in the wastelands
of DVD shelves, other
networks have committed
similar atrocities. Networks
such as ABC have taken good
shows and beaten them to
death with bad time slots and
poor advertising. Shows such
as "Sports Night" and "The
Night Stalker," were killed
before their time. One was a
comedy that was too good to
be funny, and the other was a
throwback to a cult series from
the 1970s that no one really got
back then.
These shows had intelligent
writing and excellent
production value, but if there
is one thing we have learned
about the average television
viewer, it’s that they hate
intelligence. Shows like "John
Doe" or "Sports Night" which
require viewers to actually
reason and think, just don't fly
with most networks these days.
That's because the American
people don't want to have to
understand what's going on;
as long as there are things
blowing up, bad guys being
shot, flatulence related humor
and the occasional shot at our
country's political system, we
are content.
This is not to say that we
absolutely hate these networks.
Without the hardworking
men and women of FOX and
NBC, we would never have
discovered great shows like
"Scrubs," "24" and "Boston
Legal." On the other side of
this subtle coin, we can more
clearly see the contrast of
bonehead mistakes that left
shows shows like "Family Guy"
forced to make a comeback.
Too many movies for anyone's wallet hit theaters this summer
u J ohn C ampbell _____________
Staff Reporter
Summer's here and it's
time for Hollywood to
unload its truck load of
major blockbusters, but with
so many movies coming to
theaters this summer it might
be hard to choose which one
to see. Here is a list of 15 of
the most anticipated movies,
from boy wizards to giant
robots (that are more than
meets the eye), and even
biblical heroes. This summer
has something for everyone.
JUNE
1. "Knocked Up" From
the brilliant writers behind
2005's "The 40 Year Old
Virgin," comes a new comedy
about parenthood. Starring
Seth Rogen ("Freaks &
Geeks") and Katherine Heigl
("Grey's Anatomy") the story
revolves around a slacker
who becomes a father after a
drunken night on the town.
Also look for a cameo from
"Firefly" star Alan Tudyck.
2. "Ocean’s 13" The final
installment of the trilogy
reteams George Clooney, Brad
Pitt and Matt Damon along
with the rest of the crew of
thieves. This time around, the
gang comes back together to
rob a sinister casino owner
played by A1 Pacino. With its
■ ■ M B S
■ ■ ■
all-star cast and clever writing,
"Ocean's 13" looks to be a hit.
3. "Fantastic Four: Rise of
The Silver Surfer" The first
family of superheroes returns
to save the world from total
destruction in the sequel to
the 2005 smash hit. Taking on
fan favorites Silver Surfer and
Galctus, the Four certainly has
their work cut out for them.
4. "Evan Almighty" Starring
Steve Carell ("The Office")
this spin-off of the Jim Carrey
comedy "Bruce Almighty"
sees God (Morgan Freeman)
warning Carell of a massive
flood and ordering him to
build an ark to save the world.
With the help of his family and
his animal friends, Evan might
just be humanity's last chance.
5. "Live Free or Die Hard"
The fourth film of the "Die
Hard" franchises focuses on
hard boiled detective John
McClane's (Bruce Willis) battle
with a terrorist planning on
destroying America with a
computer virus. However the
case becomes more personal
when the villain kidnaps his
daughter.
JULY
1. "Transformers" Based
on the classic 1980's cartoon
series, this big budget epic
about a war between two
groups of alien robots has been
in development for years. With
superstar director Michael Bay
at the helm, it promises to be
another box office smash.
2. "Harry Potter and the
Order of the Phoenix" This
movie probably doesn't need
a whole lot of explanation; the
fifth film in the hugely popular
franchise looks to be the most
epic as well.
3. "1408" This horror-thriller
is based on scare-master
Stephen King's short story.
The film stars John Cusack
("High Fidelity") as a man who
debunks paranormal events.
He hears of a haunted room
in a popular hotel and plans
on staying the night in it. The
manager of the hotel (Samuel
L. Jackson) warns him of its
dangers, but nothing can
prepare him for the horror that
awaits him in room 1408.
4. "I Now Pronounce You
Chuck and Larry" is a new
comedy starring Adam Sandler
("Click") and Kevin James
("The King of Queens") as New
York firefighters who must
pretend be a married couple
in order to take advantage
of the department's pension
plan. However, matters are
complicated when Sandler falls
in love with a beautiful social
worker (Jessica Biel).
5. "The Simpsons Movie"
The film 18 years in the making
is finally hitting the big screen.
Based on the longest running
sitcom in television history,
this time around the yellow
skinned family is attempting
to save the world after Homer
makes his biggest mistake ever.
government agency is out to
silence Bourne forever. But, of
course, no one is ready for just
how good Bourne is.
2. "Rush Hour 3" The
mismatched pair of detectives
are back and this time they're
fighting drug dealers in Paris.
With Jackie Chan's high flying
kung-fu and Chris Tucker's
meta-Eddie Murphyness
makes this is a sure fire hit.
3. "Stardust” Based on
the best selling novel by
British author Neil Gaiman,
this is a fantasy epic in the
classic sense, complete with
evil witches, pirates, and
swashbuckling heroes. This
could be the sleeper hit of the
summer.
4. "Good Luck Chuck"
Every summer needs its
lighthearted romantic comedy,
and this one stars Dane Cook
("Employee of the Month")
as a man who is a gateway to
true love. Every girl he d ate^ * *
always meets and marries flu.
man of her dreams afterwards.
Everything is going fine until
he meets the perfect girl
(Jessica Alba).
5. "The Ten" This indie
comedy that was a huge hit
at Sundance is collection
of ten short films each one
based on a different biblical
commandment. Written and
directed by comedian David
Wain ("Stella") the movie
features a cast of character
actors including Paul Rudd
("Anchorman") Liev Schrieber
("The Manchurain Candidate")
and Thomas Lennon ("Reno
911")
With the many diverse films
coming out this summer, it
promises to be a big one. Of
course there are many more
movies than these 15, but if
you're looking to have some
fun these are the ones to see.
Shorts VIII showcases
technical talents of students
Shorts Vlli
.
continued from page 17
AUGUST
1. "The Bourne Ultimatum"
The third entry in the series
sees Matt Damon reprise his
role as former CIA agent Jason
Bourne. Once again, a secret
"It’s not for the faint of
heart," Ares said.
For Shorts VIII, the crew
includes: Set D esigner A lix
G erb er, s e n io r; L ig h tin g
D esigner C ole Fiala, senior;
S o u n d D e s ig n e r D u s tin
A udirsch, ju nior; C ostum e
D esigner G abrielle Foushee,
ju n io r; and Props M aster
G eorgina C ohen, junior.
Ares also trains the Stage
M anagem ent team Produc
tion Stage M anager M im i
d 'A utrem ont, sophom ore;
A ssistant Stage M anagers
N atasha G uzie, sophom ore,
Jessica Sm ith, sophom ore,
C ohen and Natalie Douglas,
senior.
"M im i is "in charge" of
running the show, bu t each
play is assigned their ow n
A ssistan t Stage M anager,
w ho runs the rehearsals,"