PAGE TWO
U.H.S. AMPLIFIER
Published semi-monthly by the stu
dent body of West Linn Union High
School.
STAFF
Vivian Hughes ........ ...................... Editor
Harlan Zivney....................... Ass’t. Editor
Irene Tucker......................... Girls’ Sports
Jack Bollinger .................. Boys’ Sports
Alice Stangel ............... ..
j . . .Locals
Margaret Lange.............. Organizations
Marie Schultze.. .Seen, Said, Surmised
Beth Anderson ................................. Jokes
Jane Merrck............Col’s Question Box
Eleanor Couche, Martha
J. Hottel ................................... Features
Norma Matthews, Cleo
Hinds ................................... Exchanges
Sonora Brown ............... Editorials
Elwood Dunmire ................... Manager
Assistants
Glen Logsdon ......................... West Linn
Lee Riley ....................................... Oswego
Reporters
Margaret Vinson, Roma Confer, Jose
phine Zaniker, Marjorie Ranger,
Marian Robinson, Elizabeth Boeck-
man, Cora Boeckman, Betty Mer
rick, Lillian Stites, Edith De Moy,
Bonnibelle Littlefield, Helen Frost,
Chester Jarrett, Barbara MacDuf-
fee, Gretchen Thompson, Robert
Leekly, Don Harkleroad, Catherine
Bacon.
EDITORIALS
SENIOR KID DAY
“Senior Kid Diay!” Won’t we have
fun? This great event has been
set for April 1—an appropriate
date; don’t you think—but any way
we will have fun. Elvery senior is
supposed to wear a kiddish costume
and a kiddish expression, come
with their dolls and Teddy Bears.
Miss Horton’s room will be the nur
sery for the fretting children, and
they really act their part. Now
can’t you just see Mr. Cook in your
dreams or imagination dressed in
short pants and half socks? I think
he will be too_cute. for words.
The string To T5is affair is this :
Every senior must dress as a kid
or will be fined 25 cents to push
along the prosperity of the class.
Don’t you think we have unique
methods of raising money? You
know why we are the most prosper
ous class in school—so you seniors
come on and make “Kid Day” a
success.
ETIQUETTE IN SCHOOL
A-hem!—Well—in the first place
—ah—students should be respectful
to other students and also teachers,
if they want good grades, etc.
One student should not stand at
one end of the hall and shout to an
other student in another end of the
hall. This is not quite polite, any
way it isi not considered so in U H.
S.
One student should not hit or pull
another student’s hair. This is con
sidered bad manners; anyway it is
in U. H. S.
Girls should not wear boys’
shoes over their own, ’cause it
might spoil ’em.
Students should not write mean,
insinuating notes to each other.
This sometimes causes much un
pleasantness on the part of the
writer.
Students should not make a mad
rush for cafeteria. This does not
show good training.
S’ funny how spring fever affects
some people—for example notice
Bunny’s meekness lately—Lillian
Graham’s orneriness—and how thin
Monty is looking. And say! Have
you noticed Mr. Cook’s new suit!
And Kenneth McLarty looks lonely
—“In the spring a young man’s
fancy—•” How about it, Peggy?
U. H. S. AMPLIFIER
BELIEVE IT OR NOT!
Mr. Cook isn’t Scotch, especially
when it comes to giving assign
ments.
Wilmer is sometimes in doubt as
to what Irma wears.
“Red” Herndon has “pink” hair.
Lucky always does the right
thing at the right time.
Sadie Seely has a new man and
what’s more she offers to get some
bashful maiden a date. (Those
dates promised are still waiting.)
Jean MacLean likes to have visit
ors from Canby. We notice she has
•a bad cold;
Sam sure flatters some of the
freshmen girls when he winks at
them.
Helen Spousta and June Zivney
can’t decide which of them Elmer
belongs to.
Shorty has a new ring (ask her
for details).
If you have a baby to rock to
sleep call on Becky and Fred C.
(they’re professionals.)
Vivian as a new green hat.
Piute has gone back to second
childhood.
Jim V. used to play marbles
when he was a kid.
Irene T. makes a good history
teacher.
f
Malva never steps out on Bob.
Merle Platt and Alice C. have
gone itno the fortune-telling busi
ness.
Billie Wanker is a playful boy.
Mac learns a lot of biology, but
we won’t say he learns biology.
Arlene K. and George have a
great time in their Spanish class.
Some people around here have
enlarged senses of humor, (teach
ers?)
Aud Shipley will soon be “Miss
Oregon City.”
LOCALS
Many West Linn High students
attended the party at Don Leh
man’s home March 12.
We are glad to see Mr. Gary and
Mr. Howard back in school after
several days’ illness.
Audrey Shipley has been entered
in the spring popularity contest.
Votes are in the Enterprise. Let’s
all vote for Audrey and thereby
have West Linn win this year.
Bob Weideman, a junior at West
Linn, is now in the Oregon City
Hospital, after undergoing an oper-
ataion for appendicitis. He is get
ting along nicely and can receive
visitors.
Many students attended the State
Epworth League meeting at Canby
March 19.
Olga Turel, a member of the 1929
graduating class of West Linn, was
married to Gerald Blair, Sunday,
March 16.
Fonda Love: Your lipstick is
coming off.
Flapper Anne: Why, no it isn’t.
Fonda Love: Listen, when I get
close to a girl, I know it’s going to
Preacher (to farmer with head
under hood of stalled fliver): My
good man, you’ll never get to heav
en with all that cursing.
Farmer: Well, who cares? I’m
trying to git to town, right now,
with a load of pertators.
Often times the mink in the clos
et is responsible for the wolf at the
door.
Seen, Said, Surmised
The Colonel’s Question Box
MOSTLY SURMISED
Laugh this off!
Lowell is quite a shiek. (?)
Marge Ranger likes
a blue
Chrysler.
Don H. is very bashful.
Jack Chambers got bit finding
out the shape of a kiss.
Marcellie Smith is attracted by
one of our alumni.
Ivan Berger bought Norma’s pie
at the pie social the other night.
Ruth C. gets tired washing “our”
new Chevy.
Monty only weighs 105 pounds.
Red never does things without
permission.
Franklin Heater is a very bash
ful boy.
Harold Weiversilk would make a
good villian.
Some of the freshmen girls are
playing “keep away” with Nelson
D.
Betty Merrick is always quiet.
Zelma E. has a new hero (who?)
Lymie' and Paula never quarrel.
Roy S. is so clever.
Gladys D. is a regular Sheba.
Skipping school is no more.
Bandits are after “Artie.”
Bob and Malya get along like lit
tle love birds.
The O. C. boys got quite a kick
out of watching the sewing class
when they honored us with a visit.
Bernie and Eunice don’t talk
much.
Lee Smith is a history shark.
The seniors all act dignified.
Windy W. used to have curls.
We have quite a few would-be-
Helen Kanes around school.
Bill Anderson doesn’t speak un
less spoken to.
Speaking of Song Hits
Have you heard the—
Detective Song (“Ah Sweet Mys
tery of Life.”)
Cannibal
Song? (“You Were
Meant for Meat”).
Telephone Song? (“Somewhere a
Voice Is Calling”).
Onion Song? (“Why Should I Cry
Over You”).
Weather Bureau Song (“On a
Dew, Dew, Dewey Day”).
Aviator’s Son? “I’ve Got a Feel
in’ I’m Falling”).
Carpenter’s Song? (“Building a
Nest for Mary”).
Judge: If, as you admit, you were
three miles away when this man
was arrested for speeding, how can
you testify that the car was not
going more than 30 miles an hour?
Bugs Tuor: Judge, I used to own
that car.
Sam N.: Did you know that my
name is in the Book of Numbers?
Fred C.: Your name in the Bible?
Impossible.
Sam N.: I didn’t say the Bible. I
meant the telephone directory.
Ah, Those Knights.
Of course you know that the first
Nite Club was King Arthur’s round
table.
1st Scotchman: “So your son was
extravagant and bought a bottle of
ink.
2nd Scotchman: “Ay, Mon, and
wfe living only three miles from a
post office.
Dear Colonel:
Why does Miss Pearson call her
umbrella “Adam”?
Nie O. Teen
Dear Nie O. Teen:
Because one rib is missing.
Colonel.
Dear Colonel:
E. Racer.
Dear EL Racer:
An alarm clock.
Colonel.
Dear Colonel:
You you know any birds
don’t have feathers?
T. Bone.
Dear T. Bone:
Yes, dressed chickens.
COlonel.
that
Dear Colonel:
Do you find the dictionary inter
esting?
Dan Dee
Dear Dan Dee:
No, amusing. You see the diction
ary and I spell words so differently.
Colonel.
Dear Colonel:
What is the death rate in Pot-
ville?
Van Illa.
Dear Van Illa:
Very regular—one death per
person.
Colonel.
THINGS WE’LL MISS THIS
SUMMERS
Mr. Howard’s moustache.
Bill Rnderson’s officiousness.
Don Harkleroad.
Mr. Gary’s Humor.
That second-period physics class.
Those faculty announcements.
Our gym keys.
“Now this game Friday—.”
Fred Kable’s talking.
Norma Matthews’ giggle.
Gladys Davis’ singing.
Don’t You Miss—•
Mary Ellen?
The Basketball games?
The Toonerville?
Lillian’s long hair?
Zelma’s permanent?
CHILLING DRAMA
He had choked her!
She was dead. There could be no
doubt about that. He had listened
to her dying gasp.
Now she was cold. Cold as the
hand of death!
Yet in his anger he was not con
vinced.
Furiously he kicked her. To his
amazement she gasped, sputtered
and began to hum softly.
“Just a little patience is all it
takes, dear,” remarked his wife
from the rear seat!”
Roma—Isn’t that man wonderful?
Why, he can actually make one feel
hot or cold, happy or sad, at his
slightest will.
Marjorie R.—Gee whiz, Roma,
that’s nothing. Our janitor can do
that!
Miss Pearson—Don, I want you to
use the word Java in a sentence.
Don H.—Java good time with
your boy friend last night?