Charles R.—“Oh, yes, I’m very good
Dear Junior Class Editor:
at securing ads. The first day I went
I am going to tell you about the
out I got two orders.”
queer dream I had last night. I dream- .
Herbert E.—‘IWhat were they?”
Published semi-nronthly by the Stu ed that I was principal at Union High
W. F. R.—Inspector: “Did you want I Charles R.—“Get out and stay out.”
and
all
our
teachers
had
entered
their
dents of West I Linn OJnion High
■j8 .je
second childhood and were my stu to get that car?”
School.
G. T.—(after just missing the last
Mr. Main—“Are you having trouble
dents.
Before school took up, I walked up car): “Oh, no! I just wanted to chase with that problem, Claude?”
Entered ih We^t Linn’s Postoffice as
Claude D.—“No, it’s the answer to
and
down the halls to see the way1, it away from the corner.”
2nd class matter,
<¿8' J8
the darned thing that bbthers me.”
my scholars behaved. Oh, the sight!
¿8 ¿8 ;
Conductor—“Sayi there, did you pay]
Miss Schaeffer and Miss Tobey were
Subscription
Duncan—“George, rd like to ask
in
a
corner
talking
and
giggling;
Mr.
your
fare?
”
Per school year ---- 1............ 75 cents
you to take a subscription for this
Roy Wilkinson—“I’ll bite, did I?”
Per single copy
.............. 5 cents Davis marched up and down blowing a
“Hog Journal.”
¿8 ¿8
little tin horn, while the others were
Sheik Willet.—“ ‘Sno use; they ain’t
Miss Schaefer (in Ancient History)
JACK HEMPSTEAD ’24 ...........Editor running up and down the halls, push
a
one
of them darn critters can read a
ing
and
pulling
one
another.
I
was
“In olden days, all writing was done|
■MIARLES REED, ’26
Manager
word.’’
much relieved when the bell rang to f on tablets of stone.”
¿8 .¿8
stop such racket.
They all came* Clarence H.—'“Gee, 'it miust haveq
f
THE STAFF, THIS ISSUE
Teacher
—
“
If
you
swear, where do
KNA HYATT ............................. Editor stamping into the English room, leav "taken a crow bar to break the news.”’ you suppose you will go when you die”.
ing
their
books
behind
them.
Miss
Jlr ¿X
HAZEL HUDSON.................... Manager
K Janitor—“I don’t know ma’am; but
JOYCE MERCER ........... News Editor Tobey was late. She came running in
Fond Parent — “What is worrying] wherever it is I expect I’ll have to
EVA CHAPWLN .................... Locals and left the door wide open. And you my son?”
make fires for the teachers.”
(WRDON THOR .................. Athletics Mercy! She was chewing gum so fast; John S.—“I was just wondering how;
J8 £
Lb'LA VEDWER ..........
Jokes that I hardly recognized her. Mr. Gary many legs you gotta pull off a centi-l Miss Tobey (at beginning of English
and Mr. Jackson started an argument pede to make his limp.”
class)—“Have some trouble?”
about whether a noun in a certain
WELCOME ONCE MORE
.
«¿8 J?
Garnie—“No, thank you, just had
Mr.
sentence
was
a
verb
or
an
adverb.
Once a yeat, practically every school
Homer—“Can we keep our engage-! some.”
Main and Miss Willis giggled and ment a secret?”
in the United States of any conse
<¿8 ¿8
whispered the whole period. I was cer-
Hazel—^‘Yes^all the girls promised
Vernieta—“You tickle, me, Duke.”
quence, enjoys a great privilege. That' tainly glad when the bell rang.
not to tell.”
Mr. Davis—“My word, what a
privilege is the fact that the school
I went into the study room the sec-
J*
strange
request.”
ond
period.-
Miss
Wallis
was
pouting
is host to part of that inynortal troup
Laura Britton—“My Goodness! This
¿8 ¿8
. '
f men who maintained the Union of because she couldn’t go to the library. | bread isn’t baked yet and I put so
Roy Buckles—“Wouldn’t she Rock-
The teacher told me that she had been' much baking powder in it.”
merica—the Grand Army of the Re- sent up the day before because of dis
afellow?”
J8 J8
Tubby Tuor—“I never Astor.”
ublic.
I orderly conduct. Mr. Gary was an
We editors may dig and think, ’till
■J8 ^8
Oreigon ¡City Post of the G. A. R. and adept at shooting spit wads, at least our fingers are sore, but some poor
Absence
makes
the marks grow
the W. R. C. will be entertained at he seemed to hit Mr. Davis behind the saphead’s sure to say, “Aw, I’ve heard rounder.
ear
everytime.
Miss
Haskell
and
Miss
J. H. S. Friday morning. Every year,
that joke before.
¿8 j8
it has been the custom of this organi Gill were rolling inkwells up and down
Mr.
Gary
—
“
If
the president, vice-
sation to enjoy West Linn’s unailing the aisle, and Miss Clark persisted in class of girls. But Miss Haskell had president, and all the members of the
the room every got Miss Lamb sewed up to one of the
hospitality. Let us make, that Jiospi- running in and or*
cabinet should die, who would offic
in pRnifyr.rr.. Jive minute*;,. x
machines and they were causing a ter iate?”
■
M
■
Some timv^Ti-iiook^d into the rible commotion.
’“To the veteran^ we extend a cordial
J8 .js
welcome and may the advent of their mathematics room. The teacher had
Household Hints
In the afternoon, I was in laboratory
visit remain in their memorygjas the stepped out for a few minutes and the trying to show a class how to perform
There are several ways of using
class was staging a sham battle with
commendable occasion it really is.
chalk and erasers. Mr. Main was very some experiments. Mr. Jackson got baked ham, one of the best is to eat
particular not to muss up his heavy, curious about the contents of a small it. .
Honey may be used for sweetening
Union High School
curly, black locks, and when I tried bottle. ■ He touched a match to it and
Tuesday, April 22, 1924. to explain a , problem to him he seemed —well that is all I remember for just almost anything—but a traffic cop.
Spaghetti should not be cooked too
perfectly incapable of understanding then mother called me to get up. I
|Co the Editor of the Amplifier:
long. About ten inches is right.
do
believe
there
is
some
hope
for
me
it.
A cold bath will be found more
The students of Union High School
After that ordeal I went into the if our teachers could possibly have
Lave demonstrated a fine’spirit this sewing room expecting to see a quiet been like that. Don’t you?
R. F. J. pleasant if made with hot water.
'ear in regard to both rathletic and
Jcholastic events. They have come
Lu.t loyally to all games and plays and
Have been very enthusiastic in their
■ipport of these activities.
j however, many of them do not see
l.rilat there are other ways in which!
they are failing to show a spirit ofi
loyalty to their school. Should a
stranger step into the halls of our high
school at noon or between classes, I
Young men will
wonder what his opinion would be
when he saw some of the students
want them when
running down the halls, shouting to
someone at the other end of the build
the sun shines
ing., and behaving generally as though
they were out on a picnic. Or let us
and—
suppose he should step into our gen
eral assembly and hear the noise and
Florsheims, as al
hubbub that often prevails there. I
fear his ideas of our school would not
ways, are the
be as favorable as we might wish.
I do not believe that there is a stu-
leaders in style
dent/in U. H. S. who would willingly
lo^/rrthe standard of the school and
and quality.
that is just what some of “ them
are doing through their utter disregard
•of rules that have been made govern
ing the Use of halls and assemblies.
Every new style
Therefore, I should like to suggest
that $11 of th© students think seriously
Ion this question of loyalty to the stand
Per
ards of ths school, in order that we
pair
may make U. H. S. stand out as the
best äll-round school in the state.
S- L.
U. H. S. AMPLIFIER
Jokes a
Oxfords for’
$10