ROGUE NEWS
Fri.. Jan. 21. 1972
The First?
PAGE FOUR
In Ashland....
Rats Emerge
(Editor's note: In a recent
issue of the Ashland Daily
Tidings, an article appeared
uhich made us think of the
manuscript you are about to
read. The manuscript, which
is written in a nervous,
scrawling handwriting with
a crayon, is approximately
40 years old. Iloweve r, in
view of the recent. Tidings
article, we. felt that perhaps
'''The flats In the Sewers"
' uld be of interest.)
Though I now reside in
an asylum (or the gibbering
insane, I have decided to
submit my tale to a publisher
in the hope that maybe some
one will believe in the en
dritch horror against which
I warn, which I fearfully en
countered that horrid winter's
night, and which robbed me
of all but a few shreds of
mewling sanity.
I was a worker with the
Sanitation Department of the
city. One night I sas told
that I must descend beyond
Animals Run School For All Creatures
Revised from: The Administra
tion of the School Curriculum
with Reference to Individual
Difference By Or. G. II. Ilea vis.
Assistant Superintendent. Cin
cinnati Public Schools.
Once upon a time, the animals
decided they must do something
heroic to meet the problems of a
"new world." So they organized a
school.
TIIKY ADOPTED an activity
program consisting of running,
climbing, swimming, and flying.
To make it easier to administer
the curriculum ALL the animals
took all the subjects.
The duck was excellent in
From The
the manholes into those
elder regions of cosmic night
to investigate disturbing
sounds which had b; en heard.
Toking an electric torch, I
doscended into the subter
ranean vaults like a modern
day Dante descending into
the Inferno.
I staggered, half-blind
and nauseous with the putrid
stench of the air, searching
for the explanation of the
mystery.
Suddenly I was pelted
by a noxious horde of squirm
ing, writhing, red-eyed rats,
who had leapt upon me from
their namesles, repellant
dens. Quickly the fiends
in vermin form bound me
with thick cables. Then,
in that tenebrous chasm, as
I lay in the water, half-mad
with terror, the real horror
of the night began:
The chief or king of the
rats a huge rodent fully
two feet long from tip of
nose to end of tail began
swimming, in fact better than his
instructor, but he made only
passing grades in flying and
finally had to drop swimming in
order to practice running. This
kept up until his web feet were
badly worn and he was only
average in swimming. BUT
AVERAGE WAS ACCEPTABLE
IN SCHOOL, so nobody worried
about that except the duck.
THE RABBIT started at the top
of the class in running, but had a
nervous breakdown because of so
much makeup work in swim
ming. The squirrel was excellent in
climbing until he developed
City Depths
speaking in a vile, hissing
voice:
"The race of man hath
not long to live! Soon the
mighty Rodent Empire will
arise and issue forth, to lay
low the constructions of man.
We will triumph quickly and
easily, for man knows not
the menace that slithers be
neath the very ground he
walketh upon."
Then they released me,
saying hideously that they
did so to mock me and prove
to me that all warnings to
my fellow men would be
futile.
Curse them, they were
right! Even though there is
evidence all about them of
the rats in the sewers, men
believe not! I have been
confined to this institution
for the insane for my efforts
to warn them.
But maybe you, dear
reader, will believe, and the
forthcoming invasion will be
stopped. If not, then adieu
to all mankind.
frustration in the flying class
w hen his teacher made him start
from the ground up instead of
from the treetop down. The eagle
was the problem child and was
disciplined severely. In the
climbing class he beat all the
others to the top of the tree, but
insisted on using his won way to
get there.
AT THE end of the year, an
abnormal eel that could swim
exceedingly well, and also run,
climb and fly a little, had the
highest average and was valedic
torian. Does this school sound familiar?
Young Female Stock
Broker Speaks To Class
Few women have a
chieved the high position
which Mrs. Lonnie Kurz has.
At 22, she is possibly one
of the youngest, men or
women, to pass the rigid
accrediting exams required
to become a registered stock
broker.
Two Things Against Her
Mrs. Kun recently visit
Mrs. Jean Fowler's Busi
ness education Class. She
is not able to sell stocks
yet because it is a company
policy that an employee con
not do clerical work and sell
stock both. She still is at
her supervisory job and say;
that there are two things
against her actually selling
stock. She is young and she
is a woman. It will not be
an easy road," but she feels
she can follow it.
She first applied for the
Rogue
Barber Shop
I
A
Place
of
Friendly Service
JW
Copeland
Lumber
Yard
482-3996
Ashland General Hardware
Supplies for the
"Do it yourselfers"
r- A
I 7"
L
Laundromat
Beauty Salon
exhaustive tests when she
was 19. After finding out
that no one under 21 could
take the tests, she waited.
While she was waiting, she
studied for the tests during
her spare time.
Highest Grades of Anyone
On her 21st birthday,
she reapplied and took the
tests. She did not think
that she had passed the
test, but she passed with
"one of the highest grades
of anyone in the office."
Mrs. Kurz personally
feels that there will be more
women brokers and that it
is a good field for interested
women.
Mrs. Kurz is an employee
of Wal ston and Co., a stock
brokerage firm in Medford.
She has worked there for
about four and a ha I f years.
Winn's
Rich-
maid
24
Flavors
1630 Siskiyou Blvd.
4H2-2426
Jm
482-3521 rflll
Garden Shop 88rf Store
Car Wash