PAGE TWO
ROGUE NEWS
FRI.. MAY 18. 1956
Senior Class 1981
As our space-o-matic camera has sold millions of them in
begins to focus we can see the
1956 standing-out class of Ash
land High getting ready for
their 25th anniversary.
I Carrot top, Ronnie Fader,
has just Signed a contract with
MGM to grow carrots for Walt
Disneys Bugs Bunny. Bug's
inew movie calls for a grand to
tal of 8,000 carrots, so it looks
just one week
Ever since expressing her (like Ron will be busy for quite
preference of Jumping out a a while.
winaow to giving a speecn, Jimmie Felker. who is now
Since Mary Ann Anderson Lorna Chapman has been known world wide as
has become president of the
south she savs that her rebels
might engage in another War
Between the States.
Gene Allen, little known
beer taster, has suddenly be
come famous overnight for his
creation. Royal Purple Vodka.
Don't let names fool you
this is a new kind of milk.
Bob Alley made a rush trip
from Florida where he was
getting in shape for the coming
football season as manager of
the Wolfettes Girls' Football
team.
Lynnette Anderson is bor
rowing Santa's reindeer to
come down from the North
Pole where she is helping San
ta now that Mrs. Claus has re
tired. Dave Athanas will drive in
from Detroit where he ran the
working on a special device to thoritv on marriage, has iust
carry speech dodgers like her- taken the job of marriage coun-
self safely to the ground. She Selor in Reno, Nevada
has already sold several to
those of the class who have
been asked to speak at the reunion.
So far
business is booming.
Clifford Fowler has gone a
long way since he used to an
nounce for Ashland Hitth's
No better pattern designer in Platter Party. He now announc
the world can be found than Jes Jackie Gleason's T.V. pro
Alice Conner who has just ac- gram. So far Cliffs announce
cepted a position with MeCall's ment goes something like this,
pattern company as president. "And away we go with the
She will show her latest pat- Jackie Gleason Show."
tern.'i to the class.
Coming in on the latest So
ber, Jack and Marvin started line hostess, has been promoted
their racing careers on the fab- 'from .serving on her little
ulous "Highway 99. plane. "Miss Ashland" so nam-
Gene Parent and Harry !d because of the pleasant (?)
Johnson, well-known British memories it brings back. She
Chess players, will arrive in ;i to serve on the first inter-
Ashland at the end of their fa- (Planetary space ship leaving
mous Olympic Tournament. isoon for Mars. Good luck, Con-
Watched T.V. lately? Have ime'
you seen Jackie Gleason's new I World known beautician, Pat
Ed Carney? You know him as ,Lne, Just announced that she
jwiu be leaving soon to go to
England where she will become
Chief Beautician for Queen
Randy Root; incidentally
Sharon works in the sewer in
stead of Randy.
Don Patt, the new owner of ,"'oeu. u. nur ever-iauniu
auiuuer, ruenaru jiet-ii, wm
'accompany her and he says he
has not yet given up hope, even
after 25 long years. '
Mildred Lovass, noted jitter
the "Don's Dungeon" has made i
a killing off of his new "Don
Patts Special Fried Froglegs.'
On Don those Froglegs look i
Drettv trood.
Marjorie Osgood has put ugger, nas unaiiy naa to give
"poor litle Sparky" out of busi- UP her career. It seems as
ness on the Big John and Spar- jthough her litle family has be-
Amelia Frost, famous ani- !ky radio show, "No School To- icome too much for her. All is
mal hunter and trainer, disao- day." Aren't you ashamed. inot lost. however, as she can
uthern Pacific freight train Deared about 2 vears aeo while Maririe ! keep jitterbuging practice with
will be Don Church, who is a hunting for an 8-legged giraffe Well, our own "litle" Peegv ;her 11 children. "Cheaper By
knight of the road, or in simp- jin tne heart of Africa. She was ,0'Keefe was chosen "Mrs. ,The Dozen," Mildred?
ler words, a tramp. Don likes finally discovered just in time j America" in the 1965 Mrs. i Coming back to us from Eth-
tms worn Decause ne gets lo .o attend the 1981 reunion. By America Contest. She took time jiopia is Lance Locke, who after
see the sights of the world at the way she didn't find the gi- lout from her work as an airline jbeing kicked out of the United
a very minor cost. Iraffe, but she did find a 2-leg-
Dorothy Church has been jged pig.
I very successiui at giving Knit- Donald Gilliam, who has
Ford Motor company out offing lessons to high school been employed as head bouncer j"Talky Tarrigan," is running in 'understand the poor guy is a
hostess with T.W. A. (States, is continuing his teach-
Nancy Norbury, more com- ing profession by teaching the
monlv known in her work as .small pygmies of Ethiopia. We
business with his new
kiddie-car.
rocket boys who don't know what to
do with their spare time.
Barbara Baker is sending Little Marty Clary, famous
best wishes from New York for her stature, is a circus la
where her office is located. Hy. She is known as the short-
Yo have probably read a great est tall lady in the world,
deal about her lately since she Perfume has become the
became the world's most fa
mous stamp licker.
Stuart Baker managed to
book his basket-ball team (his
ten sons) for the weekend in
Ashland so he could see all his
old buddies again.
Don Barr is flying over from
France in his private jet leav
ing his wife to take care of his
cats. He is now an expert vio
lin string maker.
Billie Jean Beagle will ar
rive in her Volkswagon from
New York where she is the
head vet at the Bronx Zoo.
Carol Beare returned to Ash
land from the Far East where
she has been searching for the
perfect husband. Maybe she can
talk Bill Bebber into setling
down to married life. Bill has
spent his time since leaving
Ashland High school as a wan
specialty of Devar Cluff, who
in 25 years has sampled sev
eral billion bottles of French
perfume. He admits that the
job is a "bit smelly," but he
doesn't find. He has lots of la
dy friends anyhow.
Myrtle Converse is back af
ter trying her hand at the
gambling racket and doing
very well. The only time she
had to work was when the
Joint was raided and she spent
some time sorting spuds.
at the Brown Derby, has final- jthe 1970 presidential electipns.
ly decided to retire to a mor
bit on the "wild" side.
Recently divorced after her
fifth marriage, Linda Madisoi
says she hasn't given up hope
of some day finding the "right
man." It might be well for all
eligible males to be on the look
out for "Get'um, take'um and
leave'um Madison.
Denis Lohman has just been
promoted from plain old street
dering Casanova so he should school in Oregon
n1 l,.nlr TVlb-w Toft-Joan '
quiet and peaceful job. It seem? Are you gome to stop over Tor
as though Don tried to escort .the reunion. Talky?
Jeff Chandler out the door and Perhaps it's fate, or maybe it
Jeff wasn't too willing to go. 'was planned that way, any-
Any way, Don can now be found j how Tammy Parks has taken
in his rocking chair mending over where her Principal fath
socks. ,er left off.
Mary Hamilton's nurse r y Word has just been received
for pre-school children has in- from United Press that Morton
creased in attendance by about ,Scripter, 43 years old, has just 'cleaner to head street cleaner
80 per cent. It seems as though keeled over from exhaustion in since he has been with the
the cause for this is that Mary ,the Dance Marathon. That's street Dept. we have had dirt
gives each new student a jet- pretty good considering his aec jerj messier streets than ever
propelled kity car. Gee, Mary, , and the 15 years he put in "bop- before. Losing your touch, eh!
how can you stay in business? ,ping. ' Denis?
Those kitty cars are expensive. Judy Schopf has just opened ( Ricn mine owner, James Mc
David Hutchinson has just iup her new false teeth factory. Culloch, has just reported
produced a new "Get Rid of We knew you wanted to be in striking a rich gold vein! This
Your Fat O-Matic" reducer. Identist work but not that kind, i- unusual as his mine is a dia-
The class of '56 can be very Dave savs it is certainly sur- !judy. mnnd mine. So far he now has
proud of Carolyn Crowley, win j prising how many people want Mickey Morgan has acquired four gold mines, two diamond
nas Deen an ambassaaor to tne to reduce. There is only one la new job. He drags chickens mine. nd three oil wells.
Canary Islands. When she fault, his reducer does too through the Chicken Noodle i Working in the office at old
heard about the class re-union, thorough a job. A 300-pound up vat in the new "Sloppy. AHS seems to have been quite
she loft the place for the birds. man stepped into his reducer Soup Factory." Alive or dead inspiring ifor Ruth McDonough,
r-iamc uviuuuii, c i i c i and 3 minutes later ne wcign- cnicKens, wucKey:
known as Moose, has settled ed 80 pounds. Dave is now I "The South Shall
down to the task of being dea i working on a weight gainer, 'gain." Get out your confederate
01 gins in a small-town nm'i Joyce Hild has persuaded money boys the popular revoiu
discipline in the school history as though she has been success
than when blame took over, i ful. cause there have been a lot
A jack of all trades is Gerry cf flappers running around
Doran, who does everything lately.
from twisting pretzels to doin j Richard Green, notorious
female impersonations. H i s opium smuggler, has just been
last job took him to India to be 'apprehended trying to smuggle
a cow herder. jsome 10 ounces of opium into
Bette Denzer, who started the U. S. from China. It seems
out to be a typist, has given as though Richard's success in
that up and is now pounding I smuggling is the fact that the
steaks. She says the clacking of heel of his left shoe is hollow,
a typewriter makes her ner- Funny the government inspect
ors didn't think to look there
before.
World champion gooseberry
picker, Dolly Jack, has just re
ceived her world championship
be ready for a change
John Bjork is in the new
business of painting the smoke
stacks on toy trains. His most
famous job is called the
Sparky-Special.
Ray Bohn will walk from
Talent where he works as jan
itor in the accounting depart
ment of the bank during the
day and as a bookie in the eve
ning. Rex Bounds Is in Paris where
he is fast becoming one of the
most creative dress designers. ,vous.
With him he will bring 100 Bombs Away! Hal Edick has
beautiful French models to f blossomed into a full fledged
model his latest fashions in bomb maker. Ever since his
Ashland. 'experience with a bomb at the
Sharon Brownson comes in foot of a certain flight of stairs,
from Beaver Creek where she Hal has ben building bombs for
has a one-man factory for mak- big time operators all over the
ing false teeth for beavers. country.
Woody Brock will ride in on Here is hoping Virginia Ed
one of his elephant's backs 'wards gets here. If she doesn't
from Africa where he is catch- get a baby sitter for her ten
ing more rare animals for his kids it will be too bad.
zoo which is already the largest j Lawrence Eidman, chief
in the world. chicken-plucker. has invented
The world famed Australian a new vacuum that requires
Yodeler, Dick Burns, is about .only a quick pass under the
to return irom nis recem trip
to England where he has enter
tained her Majesty, Queen Eliz
abeth. Frances Campbell, the "Ath
letic Miss" has been employed
by various country clubs as a
caddie during golf lessons. She
prefers playing tiddly-winks in
her spare time because it's a
change from the regular rou
tine. Pencil Pusher Karleen Car
lisle has had 25 truly successful
years of selling Ashland High
school pencils on Forty Second
They say the "round about crowd" to go Hon leader of the South, Paula
there hasn t been any tetter back to the flapper style. Seems Phillips, is on the rampa
again.
Old-man of the Mountain,
Norman Ryken, has reported to
all his friends that he believes
he will have to get a Toni be
cause at last measurement, his
beard was over six feet lonj
and all that weight was pulling
the curl out.
A new dude ranch has been
established by Rosallie Roes-
berry, and as a celebration sh
as she now has her own mes-
Risc A- senger service. She has 25 mes
senger boys, each with three
bicycles. These bicycles are the
newest thing put out by Lincoln-Mercury
dealers, costing
$500 each
Pat "Stick'em up Martin
and Glennora "Put'em down'
Martin, noted bonk robbers,
are now serving terms in Ta-
hatchapee Women's Prison for
their attempt to rob Fort Knox.
The only FBI girl, Carol
Hanson, has recently opened
up her newest nightclub "The
Crooked Paw." This is reported
to be the most fabulous of her
is inviting the entire gradual- 200 jBhtclubs. featuring 50
ing class of '56 to come and be chorus girls who take your
her guests. The Double R Ran- fuU atentj0n while her 75 "ex-
ch has 600 acres, 199 guest
houses, and 1200 horses.
Plaving Ladv Macbeth in the
award for the sixtieth time in Senior Class Play has paid off
succession. Dolly won over her jfor Jeannette Purves. She is
nearest rival by picking over .now the sole director of Ash-
40 gallons in one hour. Her riv-jl&nd's Shakespearean ineaire,
al picked 12. Nice going, Dolly! after the retirement of Angus
Wilhelmeni Gibbel's 1 i f e-iBowmer.
long dream has finally come Doreen Phillips' home for
true. She now owns her own the delinquent is proving to be
race track, or should we say quite effective. As soon as she
tracks. Actually she owns 62 of ; received notice of her inherit-
them. When interviewed by anee. she decided to "leave her
members of the press she mark in the world' by setting
stated that her love for horses ,up this home.
was what first started her de- Don McMurchie has just ad
sire to own a track. When ask- vanced from janitor to Assist
ed if she didn't feel bad about 'ant Dog Catcher in a large New
putting Santa Anita and Ken jYork pound. So far he has suc
tucky Derby out of business, ceeded in catching a grand to-
she said, "No, not in the least. ,tal of 85 dogs since he Iirst
I plan on buying them next took over his new Job 3 years
week." Good luck with the ago.
horses, Wilber. It has been brought to the at-
AU of you speed-racing fans jtention of Ashland residents
will be interested to know that ithat Alden Joy has recent'--
suction and it automatically
plucks all the feathers.
Word was received from
Fuller Brush girl, Sue Eudey,
that she will be able to attend
the 1981 reunion of the gradu
ating class of '56 because she
just unloaded 17 brushes on
some poor unsuspecting cus
tomer and received a bonus for
her splendid salesmanship.
Bruce Everett is the design
er of the new purple and red
polka dot mens BVD's. England
seems to be Brucp's best cus
tomer for these new striking with Marvin Hamilton coming
perts" take your money.
You might not recognize Jer
ry Miller, who has just return
ed from a three-year hike in
the high Himlayas. He didn t
shave all the time he was there.
His wife isn't claiming him.
Lulu (Lee Anne) Williams,
Queen of the 1st. Street bubble-
dancers, says she will retire to
married life after spending 12
years in her spectacular career.
You should have taken that of
fer from Hollywood. Lulu.
Arriving from Paris, France,
comes Pierre Wendt, the fam
ous underwater- hair stylist.
Pete says "Thee latest on air
eez thee underair watair Bel
gian Congo Princess Wave."
One member of our class
who will not have to return far
is David Woods. Woody will
just have to walk upstairs
from the Janitors Penthouse.
He is now head Janitor at A.
H. S.
From scandal-ridden Wash-
Street in New York. Karleen lensembles.
at the Indianapolis Speedway won the 1980 award for "M
last Friday Jack Reynolds won : Rancher U.S.O." His ranch is lington. comes this juicy gossip
first place in all of the races, ithe famous "Lazy J located 'Secretary Alberta Wiltse to the
just outside of New York. President Robert Wright, was
Connie Kimsey, famous air-1 Continued on Page 4
in second. As you will reman-