Tuesday, December , UMI.
lMKil K XF.WH
rtr Tiu-c
OBSERVATIONS
of Anony Mooa Keyholer
You never know when our
eagle eye may be glxed on You
and probably You and You
and Youi
? ? T
Two-period exama are gone
but, unfortunately, can't be for
gotten. But It is a cheering
thought that they only come
onca a semester!
T T T
It teema that some discreet
students are saving their report
cards for a little after-Christmas
present for Poppa. The Sopho
mores will hare a fine alibi,
though but. Poppa, think of the
time I had to spend writing to
Sandy Claws; how could 1
study?
, t t !
Anyone desiring Information
Hon how to make mysterious
squeaks, hisses, and other dls
turbances In study hall without
being detected might apply to
our budding ventriloquist, Mr.
Glen Head!
I ! ?
Some one was wondering the
other day if having a (Beth)
JOY and a (Coach) BLISS in
the same acbool might be called
a HAPPY (Carlton) coincidence.
! ! !
Johnny Junior says
Girls la hard to please. Once
I gave my girl a box of choco
lates. It had one funny one in
it but I didn't mean to have her
eat that one. She did, though,
and got awful mad about It. I
got another girl now.
T T ?
When celebrating New Year
Let your conscience be your
ttl
guide!
This is absolutely all.
Yon will ever hear from na
In the year 1931.
But, finally.
We'll wish you
AM ERRYCHRISTM ASANDA
HAPPYNEWYEAR!
and auake.
!RISTMAS IS COMING', The Ghosts were all abroad
n to play " and glared so
ildly that the S. S. C. ran
from the room, nevertheless jot
ting down "tuition in piano
playing" in his notebook.
As Miss Clark was engrossed
in "Ballyhoo", he discreetly put
down a years subscription for it
Catching Miss Tomlinson wist
fully looking at an advertisement
of Jewels and murmuring, "Di
amonds, rubles, pearls" in a
gloating sort of voice, he put It
down in his note book.
Miss Tjosdal muttered some
thing about her lost youth; Mr.
Wagner whispered something,
and the 8. S. C. looked doubtful:
Mrs. Graham asked for a book.
"Oh, I want a paint set,"
cried Miss Ma goon.
"And I want a sewing outfit",
chimed In Miss Kilgore.
Miss Reck said, with big eyes"
I want to go to Florida. That's
where the Pour-hundred go.''
Miss Wiseman admitted, "I want
a subscription to Western Stor
ies", Miss Dobrovolny struck
pose and said, "I want a tennis
raquet."
Mr. Forsythe said something
about a moment's iTeace and with
these wishes burdening him the
S. S. C. hastened back to anta
Claus and put in his resignation
BALLAD TO CAPOXE
By DAVID JOHNSON
It was a scarface bandit
And he stoppeth two or three.
'By thy long black gun and
deadly eye
Now wherefor stoppeth thou me?"
Oh. I am Scarface Al Canone".
The bandit made reply. I
"Hand to me quick your money.
Or you all shall surely die.' I
I
We handed him all our money, j
Our Jewels and watches fine. j
He took them all and off he
raced. j
Presumably with the mayor to ,
dine. j
i
Oh. he dined wkh the mayor, !
And slept in his house.
He sold him some heer.
And with him shot grouse.
B'lt the mayor paid taxes,
Capone paid none.
?o with him at last.
Chicago Is done.
WHITE HOUSE
GROCERY
QUALITY GROCERIES
Ph:n8 156
388 E. Main St.
A BALLAD OP JOHN
By HOMER CLINTON
It was a dark night that Hallo
we'en The Ghosts were all abroad.
Young John was a boy Just
turned fifteen.
The Ghosts were all abroad.
The Graveyard was a mile from
town.
The ghosts were all abroad
SIDELINERS DOPf.
ON BASKETBALL
THE FIRST METHODIST
EPISCOPAL CHURCH
Wishes the Faculty & Students
of Ashland Hi
"A MERRY CHRISTMAS"
We invite you to attend any '.r
all of our services.
CHRISTMAS PROGRAM:
Sunday School 9:15 A. M.
Divine Worship 11:00 A. M.
and 7:50 A. M. Wednesdny
Evening.
Young People's Meeting 8:45
P. M. All invited.
Santa'a Special Correspondent The Ghosts caught John
came tearing down the ball and
caught Mr. Bliss's eye. "Whaddya
want for Chrls'mas," he asked in
a well-this-has-to-be-done - right
as-well-get-lt-over with sort of
tone.
Mr. Bliss became thoughtful.
scratched the epidermis of his
face and then murmured soul
fully. "A saxophone Sax ap
peal', he said, dreamily with a
sigh. The 8. 8. C. looked bored
and hurried oft to the next vic
tim. "N ' Austen" said Miss Hedges
laconically, letting her huge eyes
do devastating things to her en
quirer. Miss Lockhart looked so happy
at being able to atr her wishes
that the "new. screws and quart
ering instruments for the class
room" did not iT'hase the 8. S. C.
Mr. Phillips drifted into a leth
argy, then said, "They all laugh
ed when I sat down to the pi
ano but "here he Jumped up
Basket ball Is with us. No
longer may the boys going out
for srorta do as they please, for
they must keep training. Here's
wishing them fewer temntatlons
of breaking training than they
had during the football season.
Also the student body as a whole
keep training on rooting if that
will Jo any good, for something
has certainly been amiss tn the
"yea teams", "rah, rahs", et
cetera.
This is the time of yesr when
Young John coman i go m Christmas cards are being sent
Graveyard round. and received everywhere, so in
The Ghosts were all abroad. j accordance with this custcm let's
all have this engraved in our
The Toad was long, the trees did hearts throughout the coming
shake. j basket hail season: "Let the
The Ghosts were all abroad. training be stricter, the sports-
Young Jchnay's heart did Jump manshlp more outstanding, and
the rooting bigsrer and better;
for when better teams are made,
those things will make them."
Tbat the Ashland red and
white may again journey to Sa
lem for the haxkethall tourna
ment, the same cooperation evi
dent last year Is again needed.
Not only will the boys on the
team have to work faithful)" and
earnestly but the much larger
student body must help them by
harking them and rooting for
them. The largest portion of the
endeavor lies with the basket
ball boys themselves, to them
goes the responsibility of keep
training and doing the actual
work. Nevertheless, we ran help
by being unselfish in our partits.
onr spirit, our loyalty that Is
sportsmanship.
VINING THEATRE,
MIN ATTRACTIONS
I'HKISTMAS
Continuous Stun lug l:HO
"AMItASSAIKtK BILL"
With Will Rogers
HI' X DAY MOXDAY
"THE K1X OF MADF.MX
t'LACDF.TTE
With Helen Hayes
Tt F.S.. WKD., THl'KS.
HtVKR THE HII L"
With James Dunn, Sally KHers
XKW YKARH
"HISHAXD'S HOLIDAY"
With (live Krook
MADDEN'S
TIRE SHOP
For GOOD TIRES and
GOOD SERVICE
Phone 90-J
how
he did cry.
The Ghosts were all abroad.
And now he lies the roadside by.
The Chosts still go abroad.
The name of John is carved in
stone.
The Ghosts still go abroad.
And placed n-cn a grave alone.
The Ghosts still go abroad.
Now in the country far away.
The Ghosts still go abroad.
But John is caught tnd put to
stay.
By the Ghosts that went abroad.
WHAT HO!
J.O.RIGG
ART SUPPLIES
Phone 172
My hat!
Here's Christmas
Joyous details of this
And that!
What fun;
Good old World
Happy New Year's
and said fiercely "When I be- Just begun!
POWELL 'S
CONFECTIONERY
Candles, Cigars, Tobaccos,
Soft Drinks The Home
"the Famous Apple Cider"
ASHLAND, ORM.OX
Al Jordan's
Army Goods Store
MERRY
CHRISTMAS
Willie Durham: Did you ever
take choloform?
Harvey Gearhart: No, who
teaches it?
Wardlow Howell: D(
Greta Garbo?
Kenneth Darling:
know; I never ate any.
FAIR VIEW MARKET
The Fir Last
In Fresh & Cnred Meats
SWIFT'S
li'-!l Fourth Street - I'lione !t