marriage |
by Mary Emily O’Hara
Getting Hitched
Everything you need to know to get started on your walk to the alter — or to the courtroom. The nitty gritty on marriage here at home.
Anna Campbell and Tex Clark traveled to Sooke
Harbor, BC last June to become wife and wife.
“We feel a special connection to Canada now,”
says Campbell. “All the people were so nice to
us, so helpful. We’re very grateful.” The couple
notes that being married has a different feel.
Campbell says, “Domestic Partnership sounds
kind of clinical. I’m proud to say we are mar-
ried.”
Unfortunately for Clark and Campbell, returning home to Portland af-
ter the wedding meant their marriage was legally non-existent. “Accord-
ing to Oregon law,” says Clark, “we’re nothing. We’re just roommates.”
Clark, who is a public defender officially employed by the federal gov-
ernment, tried to add her wife to her health insurance plan when they
returned home. “Two weeks later I got a letter back telling us ‘no,’ that it
was illegal for them to give us benefits.” Recounts Clark, “My request had
been declined due to gender and sexual orientation. I grew up in Texas,
and I’m familiar with hostility to queer people. But it still made me cry
to get that letter.”
Many Portlanders, regardless of sexual orientation, believe that because
Oregon has legalized domestic partnerships there is full equality for
same-sex couples under the law. In some areas, that’s true. And with
the recent electoral decision legalizing same-sex marriage in neighbor-
ing Washington, as well as several others states, Oregon LGBTQ couples
would seem to have increased options for cementing relationship com-
mitments.
IT’S NOT THAT SIMPLE. (IS IT EVER?)
Each additional state that adds marriage equality, it presses the issue and
increases the likelihood of gay marriage on a federal level within a gen-
eration. But without federal approval, the state-by-state checkerboard of
marriage equality leaves many LGBTQ folks stuck in limbo. Fortunately,
Portland is home to many marriage equality activists and attorneys who
can help illuminate the labyrinth of bureaucracy that committed couples
face.
28
JustOut.com
Looking to get hitched this year? A destination wedding to Canada or
a marriage equality state is exciting, but be prepared for the fact that a
marriage performed elsewhere is legally naught on Oregon soil. To help
navigate the process, Just Out talked with several Portland-based attor-
neys who offer advice to help fill the gaps.
LEGAL IN OREGON: DOMESTIC PARTNERSHIP
According to attorney Marlene Findling, “Domestic Partnership here
grants rights and responsibilities that are identical to marriage. This in-
cludes things like paying joint state taxes, receiving joint employer ben-
efits, and name changes.” Findling says that registration offers too many
benefits to name — many of them seemingly small things, like being able
to drive a car your partner has rented.
But almost every one of the perks has a flipside. For instance, family law
attorney Beth Allen points out, “If I die today and bequeath my property
to my registered Domestic Partner, she isn’t going to have to pay state
taxes — but she is going to pay federal taxes.” Findling uses social secu-
rity as a sobering example: “If you are [heterosexually] married, you’re
entitled to your spouse’s social security, but since it’s federal, domestic
partners are not. Anything that’s federal, it’s as if you don’t exist.”
Regardless of the paperwork maze, terminology itself can provoke emo-
tions. Allen becomes clearly annoyed by the term ‘register’ and says,
“People register to take classes, they register to get a driver’s license. Not
to marry!” Former Oregon State Bar President Mark Johnson Roberts
agrees. “It doesn’t have the same gravitas, or portability. The whole pur-
pose of the existence of domestic partnership is to deny that gravitas,
deny that reality.” The second-class, separate-but-equal status offered by
domestic partnerships is something that both lawyers hope to see chal-
lenged at the ballot in 2014.
WASHINGTON STATE AND BEYOND:
DESTINATION WEDDINGS
Getting married in Washington State is a new option for Oregon couples
that previously might have traveled to Canada for a legal marriage. But
unless you move to Washington, you will still need to file for a domestic
partnership in order to receive any legal recognition of your relationship.
The upside is, Washington included a “recognition” statute in their mar-
riage equality law; same-sex couples married in other legalized jurisdic-
February 2013