My name is CHRISTINE and I am a Scorpio. I am trying to be the best queer
woman I can be.
GENERALLY, HOW DOES VALENTINE’S DAY MAKE YOU FEEL?
Valentine’s Day makes me sad. I was the “choo choo choose you” kid, only getting cards
from pretty girls out of sympathy. I had a sympathy girlfriend in 5th grade after a Valen-
tine’s Day gift exchange — just like Ralph Wiggum. Suffice it to say that luck has not been
a lady for me.
YOU AREN’T ALONE IN YOUR SENTIMENTS.
I guess it’s more appropriate to say that on Valentine’s Day I feel like the idiot in the
schoolyard again. Sometimes a girl never gets out of there.
YOU RUN A DJ AND DANCE NIGHT AT THE LOCAL. HOW IS THAT
SHAPING UP?
So, yeah, I have a night at Local Lounge called Transit. I really wanted it to be a
queer night, but the local press consistently billed it as a trans night. I suppose
under the assumption that because I am a DJ that happens to be trans, I must
be interested in creating a trans space.
BUT, YOU DIDN’T.
I didn’t. But, I went along thinking it wasn’t that bad to create a space for trans
people. Then some trans folk started having trouble with the name of my night
because it had the word “it” in it.
REALLY?
They wanted me to change the name, but I’d had enough at that point and decided to
discontinue. I don’t want to be the trans DJ any more than a person of color would
want to be the black DJ, or a person of size the fat DJ. So I guess I should also say I am
retiring from DJing, in addition. All this stuff has choked the heart out of it for me.
IT’S IMPORTANT TO REALIZE THAT THERE ARE BIGGER ISSUES FOR
SOME OF US THAN CHOCOLATES AND DINNER RESERVATIONS.
February 14th will be just another day, most likely. I thought maybe once I started
expressing my true self in the world that maybe I would fit, that maybe I would be
chosen.
IF ONE THING COULD HAPPEN TO YOU THIS V-DAY, AND IT COULD
JUST BE ABOUT LOVING YOUR LIFE, WHAT WOULD YOU WANT?
I’m finally coming to terms with the fact that changing my shell doesn’t change
who I am. I’ve been trying to go on dates with myself. You know? I’ve been
trying to get to know myself better, maybe even love myself. I guess it’s
more to the point to say I will be on a date with myself on Valentine’s
Day. §
20
JustOut.com
February 2013