A POET IN PRISON
Continued from page 29
Life went on. Until it didn’t.
That’s when Zach did what he won’t talk about;
the thing that had Zach moving from one facil-
ity to another for over a year. That’s when the
thing that happened landed him in ill-fitting
slippers shuffling along long corridors and be-
hind scores of locked doors with fences holding
him twenty-four/seven.
Zach wants to do good things now. He wants to
live well and to “do no harm,” as he puts it in his
Wiccan-inspired life philosophy verbiage.
But that is questionable. Zach himself is not
entirely sure he can change. The rage is right
under the surface. The eventual explosion is ap-
parent, even to a stranger.
“I really hope it goes well,” he says about his re-
maining time before release, eyes on the tiled
floor.
While he questions himself, he is clear about
what he wants in his life. He brightens up when
he talks of his idyllic future: adopting kids in
the system who have struggled like he has,
owning a Victorian house, and a Husky or Chi-
huahua. He loves dogs.
Noticeably absent from Zach’s wish list is love
— a man. But young Zach suddenly shows his
more grown up and wise side.
“Important, but not necessary,” he glibly says.
We both simultaneously smile widely.
As we rise to say goodbye the dad in me wants
to grab Zach and hug him. A part of me wants
to break him out of prison and make sure he
gets to where he needs to go in life. My heart is
heavy leaving him there after he spilled his guts
onto the metal desk and into my notepad. I opt
for a firm handshake instead, looking Zach in
the eye. “Keep writing,” I say.
“If I could get through to somebody … get (my
poetry) out there ... it might do some good in
the world,” Zach says. “That’s my whole goal.”
Zach turns and walks out of the small room. His
slippers slide along the floor.
I get into my truck; I can’t drive fast enough to
get home to hug my kids. §
Jonathan Kipp is the publisher of Just Out. He and his
partner were foster parents to seven at-risk boys.. Today he
is a father of two young children.
November 2012
JustOut.com
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