A DAUGHTER'S LOVE
CONTINUED FROM PAGE 20
accident; Sjogren’s Syndrome, causing chronic
dehydration; lupus; and fibromyalgia.
And then there was the stress of the job. The pa-
tients she dealt with on a daily basis were a tough
crowd. Murderers and sex crime assailants were
the norm in the halls of the hospital.
“Every case you’d read about in the newspaper,
they are there.”
Her work days left her fatigued, in constant pain,
mentally and emotionally exhausted, virtually
housebound and unemployable. Before leaving
work permanently in May 2011, she was expe-
riencing short-term memory loss; she couldn’t
remember her co-workers names while on the
job. And she became increasingly worried she
would make mistakes at work with the patients’
medications, something that still weighs heavy
on her mind.
But what got Victoria most concerned was the
day she could not remember her baby grand-
daughter’s name.
“Horrible,” the grandmother of 2-year-old Emma
says, tears dribbling down her rosy cheeks be-
neath her wire-rimmed glasses.
Not long after, daughter Michelle decided she
couldn’t leave Emma with Grammy alone any-
more. A new low.
A DAUGHTER’S LOVE
Michelle doesn’t take her eyes off her mother as
her mom recalls her journey from robust worker
and all-American dream seeker, who owned her
own home and new automobile, to her near-
homelessness and a likely destitute existence. Her
gaze seems a combination of pure love and utter
worry; of unconditional respect for her mom and
of virtual panic. Only the mischievous behavior
of young Emma wanting to explore the refrigera-
tor for snacks breaks her trance-like attention to
her mother’s words.
plays in every corner, keeping her young mom on
her toes. But Michelle’s own mother’s struggles
keep her distracted and worried most of the time.
Michelle has given her mom money and lends
moral support the best she can. She lived with
her mom in the foreclosed home Victoria owns
in Salem, but had to move when it appeared that
they would be asked to leave with very short no-
tice. After all, she had to make her own child’s
well-being a priority. So she moved on. Or so she
has tried.
And Michelle holds vigil, trying her best to help
Victoria make sense of a complex health and so-
cial service system that seems unnavigable. They
wait for an insurance lottery-win so Victoria
can gain access to Oregon Health Plan cover-
age. Without dependent children it isn’t easy and
won’t come quickly. She won once but the offer
was quickly retracted since Victoria was em-
ployed and insured just six months earlier. She
wasn’t bad off enough. She isn’t a problem gam-
bler. She isn’t an addict. Either one of those diag-
noses would bring help more quickly.
Michelle keeps track of her mom’s nutrition,
maintained on the $200 a month Victoria re-
ceives in food stamps, encouraging her consump-
tion of fruits and vegetables. And she is moving
her mom’s possessions into her own storage unit,
preparing for Victoria’s inevitable eviction from
the home where there hasn’t been heat or hot wa-
ter for months. The real estate agent pays to keep
the cold water on.
She grieves over the possibility that her mom
will end up in a special parking program where
homeless folks are allowed to park a travel trailer
in a city parking lot. It’s dangerous, Michelle says.
And that is saying nothing about likely mold in
the 1960’s trailer that may be offered to her mom
by another family member for the program.
All of her mom’s health problems could easily
be complicated by the spores. Things could get
worse.
Michelle grimaces.
Michelle, an aspiring chef, farmer, and college
student in Eugene, struggles to make ends meet
herself. She lives in a small but immaculate and
sunny downtown Eugene bungalow with another
single mom. This summer she’ll be a nanny for
her roommate's child, affording her time with
Emma while making some needed money. Her
home is clean and bright. Her toddler cheerfully
July 2012
CONTINUES ON PAGE 43
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