EDUCATION | SPIRIT
by Jennifer Yocum
OneGeorgeFox
Misdirected Love
“I SAID ‘GOODBYE’ TO GOD.” Those are usually the last words said when a LGBT person
talks about their faith experience. Having been rejected by the church or temple or other faith
house that had sheltered, shaped and supported them, LGBT folk often come to the conclu-
sion that, for the sake of their own well-being they have to close the door to any faith and
that’s the end.
For Paul Southwick, though, saying “Goodbye to God,” is just an early chapter in an ongoing
story about faith and redemption. Southwick is one of the co-founders of OneGeorgeFox, an
alumni organization dedicated to creating dialogue and a healthy regard for spirituality and
sexuality at their alma mater, George Fox University in Newberg, Oregon.
Southwick came to George Fox as a young man already struggling with his feelings of attrac-
tion to other men, but knowing he needed to hide his feelings on the evangelical Christian
campus. In 2004, he went to Washington D.C. on a fellowship with the Family Research
Council, a right-wing policy think tank. When the fellowship ended, Southwick had his first
sexual encounter with a man, and fell apart.
“I was hospitalized for two nights for panic attacks,” Southwick said. Mentors at Fox encour-
aged him to go into “reparative therapy” to try to change his sexual orientation, encouraging
him to watch straight porn as part of the process of becoming a healthy, heterosexual Chris-
tian man.
Southwick says, “Everyone was very loving toward me, but the love was misdirected and ul-
timately very damaging.” Southwick spent his last two years of school at Fox in reparative
therapy in what he calls “a dark time” then went to study law at the University of Michigan
where he found himself able to talk about his feelings and ultimately come out to himself and
others in a safe environment.
But Southwick had doubts, “It wasn’t just about being gay,” he said. “It was about the Bible and
the question of evil. Ultimately, I said ‘goodbye’ to God, but it was very hard. I mean, I prayed
an hour every day and I believed I had a close personal relationship with God. Nothing can
replace that.” But that was not the end of his journey.
Southwick says that he felt a need to let the administration at George Fox know that their poli-
cies, which officially prohibit sexual relationships outside of marriage while defining marriage
as taking place between a man and a woman (thereby cutting off full relationship for LGBT
people) can drive their students to despair.
He and other alumni have begun working with George Fox administrators to try to create
a safe, healthy environment for LGBT students. Southwick says, “We hope for an open dia-
logue. We want sexuality and faith to be discussed openly.” Southwick would like to see Fox
take a stand against reparative therapy and ultimately support same gender marriage, but
admits that goal is probably a long way off.
Photo by Keene Studio
Regular contributor Rev. Jennifer Yocum is pastor of the Forest
Grove United Church of Christ, where she says, No matter who
you are or where you are on life's journey you are welcome here.
Reach her at www.fgucc.org
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JustOut.com
About his own faith, Southwick is still in transition. He says, “I’ve had some great experiences
in churches, even evangelical churches since this work with OneGeorgeFox started. I’ve been
at churches that felt really familiar, that felt like home, but it’s like a home where it’s good to
visit but you’re not sure you want to stay.” For now, Southwick says he is pro-Christian and
pro-Gay and he hopes his alma mater can one day say the same.
July 2012