by Lyska Mondor
VOICES
In The Pink
Remember Me?
Online dating changed Queer America. You could live in a
town of 200, and suddenly have a global network of just-like-
yous at your fingertips. Tired of the same old nears and dears,
you could connect to Mr. Right in Australia. Suddenly, the per-
son that knew you best was just one click away.
Hooking up on the Internet is old news. Now, love and sex are
properly segmented to different websites, and platonic connec-
tions are the consolation prize of bad coffee house dates. We can
go online seeking the customized relationship of our choice.
However, the
problem is that
too much con-
trol can lead to
a lack of sur-
prise or seren-
dipity.
One of the less
overthought
dating
tools
is
Craigslist’s
“Missed Con-
n e c t i o n s ”.
They’re
po-
etic stabs in the
dark towards
people
we’ve
known for an
instant. We’re
just hoping our
moment was as
sexy to them as
it was to us.
Staff Photo
“Remem-
ber me? I was the girl who crashed her bike into the Voodoo
Doughnut cart on Alberta?”
Unaware sexy people just can’t be stopped.
Lately, I’ve been comparing the queer women and men’s Missed
Connection boards. Not surprising that they’re very different.
I can’t help but be a little jealous of the m4m posts. Why? They
are an unstoppable slew of dating propositions that use words
like “muscles” and “short hunk”. This seems like the intention
of the site.
The w4w posting board is a different story all together. The last
time I visited, I was shocked. Over half of the posts were writ-
ten by queer girls either pining for, or screaming at their exes.
It’s no crime to be heartbroken, and as a reader, commiserating
can be very therapeutic. Unfortunately, the woeful relationship
posts are even more vague than the flirty shouts at strangers.
You may even be forced to read bad after-bar poetry that kind
of rhymes, and is full of too many moon and ocean references.
The girlfriend rants aren’t awesome. Who could have guessed
an “I hate you” could be so boring? The answer is… anyone. It’s
boring and selfish to vaguely hate someone in a forum estab-
lished for people to meet. Thanks for peeing in the dating pool.
Can’t you see the other people blowing kisses from their bike
crashes and Radiocabs passing in the night?
It seems we need a posting category where queers can break up,
and then rub it in. On the hierarchy of horrible ways to dump
someone, it would be even worse than a text message break-up.
We could call it “Bad Connections”, and just like the sexy posts,
all your friends would get to read it before you did.
Dating and hating online is forever becoming more complex.
It’s easy to see how a forum for love could accidentally grow bit-
ter fruit. I just think those bitter fruits should get a forum less
designed for hopefuls.
I’m looking forward to a summer full of very cute, sexy, and
vague Craigslist posts. I wish achievement to those of you want-
ing, and closure to those of you hurting.
Why wouldn’t they contact you?
I love that there’s a place to find people you meant to hit on, but
just couldn’t. There’s bravery in reaching out to them. Obvious-
ly, you may never hear back from them, but there are stranger
things as well. For example, there are people that constantly get
Missed Connections. Something about the way they hit that
dance floor. He could be picking his nose while watching Fox
News, and BAM! He has 20 posts that he’ll probably never read.
12
JustOut.com
“Hey you, dancing boy/girl in a tank top and jeans. You’re hot!
We made eye contact, and I think we both want more. Message
me with name of the place we were dancing at so I know it’s
you. BTW, I was also wearing jeans.”
Lyska Mondor writes regularly for Just Out. She is a published poet and
aspiring sci-fi author. Reach her at www.JustOut.com
July 2012