Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013, June 01, 2012, Page 46, Image 46

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    Advice
Dirty Words
Sex &
Relationships
I’m bi. I only tell people whom I trust, and
only if and when I think they can handle it.
The problem is the gay community sees me as
a “fauxbian”. I love women, and don’t feel my
sexuality grants me wiggle room. Also, I dedi-
cate myself entirely to whomever I am with. My
situation is that women, who are interested in
me, use me as their first experience. I can’t have
fulfilling relationship with a woman because of
a stigma? That is sad. How can I overcome such
a seemingly daunting social cast?
- sigh- Never Maybe
Getting what you want always starts with an
act of bravery. In this case, it’s coming out.
Telling people that you’re bisexual puts the ball
in their court. People that love you don’t get
to choose the things they like about you, and
leave the rest behind. When I came out, I was
afraid it was an instant commitment to starting
a relationship with another woman. That’s ri-
diculous. Even if you went your whole life only
dating men, it wouldn’t invalidate your identity.
Tell people. Eventually, your friends will start
doing the work for you. It becomes part of your
social being, like your eye color, but way more
interesting.
Be brave, “Never Maybe”. The naysayers bore
me to tears.
I’ve been with my girlfriend for almost a year
now. I came into our relationship with a few
minor STDs. I should have told her right away,
but since we’ve always had safe sex, I decided it
wasn’t important. We’re on the rocks now, and
I’m wondering if I should tell her, or let it go?
- Nervous and Sad
Wow. What a great kicker to the end of your
relationship. That was sarcasm. I feel that I
should say it’s sarcasm, because you and I don’t
adhere to the same kind of reality.
I don’t know what “minor” STDs are, but
maybe you meant “nonlethal”? STDs that don’t
46
JustOut.com
June 2012