(i.e. I can't get a date because I’m femme). The
thing is our narratives, our politics, our lives, our
families, our identities are nuanced, complicat-
ed, contradicting, and uncomfortable. Femmes
don’t just sleep with butches. Femmes aren't just
coming in and stealing your girlfriends. Some of
them transition genders. Some have no gender.
Some have many genders. That’s part of being
queer. And when straight ideals carry over into
our conversations what happens is we essential-
ly create caricatures of competitive petty lezbos
fighting for masculine spectrum people. This is
inaccurate at best and sexist at worst. Having
dated femmes for a long time, hearing conversa-
tions about ‘femme competition’ seemed to reg-
ulate, decide, and confine my sexuality. When
femme solidarity movements assume a hetero-
normative sexuality, is that solidarity a powerful
form of activism or merely reinforcing a binary
we claim to be combating?
My larger political questions are around the
very concepts of femme coming from assigned
femininity. These terms can come with a lot
of intense assumptions that, on a broader po-
litical level, can not only reinforce sexism but
also perpetuate other injustices such as rac-
ism, transphobia, and class privilege. Myths of
femininity have often aligned with what kind of
femininity is the most valued. That most valued
historically has been white womanhood. Myths
of femininity have traditionally gone to those as-
signed and socialized as female. That has added
to a culture where transwomen are the most
subject to violence and the most invisible. Myths
of femininity in relation to class privilege have
erased working class modes of living and have
also assumed that most femmes have access to
housing, health care, and education.
If the priority of femme solidarity is based on
sexist ideas of femme competition and what we
define as feminine, instead of justice and libera-
tion, then it is something that personally I want
to stay away from.
Liberation starts when we start talking about our
differences in a real, nuanced, and thoughtful
manner. I want to see a femme politic that plac-
es destroying white supremacy and transphobia
at the core. From there we can build solidarity
from a place of fun, humility, care, and account-
ability wherein all femmes and not femmes can
receive community and solidarity.
Catherine Hollenbeck lives, loves, DJ's, and works in
Portland, OR. Reach her at www.JustOut.com
June 2012
JustOut.com
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