■ f#1 34
voices-
Tropical Temptation
OCTOBER 7. ¿Oli
WWW.JUSTOUT.COM
m I’ve been considering going on one
guys go on those trips solely for sex. M en’s
■
o f those all-lesbian vacations. It
tours are like giant, floating bathhouses. But
sounds like an awesome place to ju st let go.
the women’s trips, in my experience, are dif­
I’ve heard that a lot o f women go on those
ferent. M any o f us go for community, for
Q
trips to get wasted and hook up like crazy.
I also know singles who have gone on the
with a group o f only lesbians and bi-women.
community service, or for the dessert buffet.
W hat do you think o f these trips? Are they
trips alone, or with a friend, in order to meet
The first couple o f times traveling as a single,
I f you’re going for sex, make sure you’re
good places to meet people?
new people, new friends, new lovers.
I found it like what I imagine middle and
clear up-front.
Obviously,
a I do have some experience with les-
■ hian excursions. In fact, I’m a singles
coordinator for one o f the major women’s
excursion companies. And while I wasn’t a
big fan o f them in theory, I ’ve become a huge
fan after experiencing a few.
For me, though, the excursions are more
about finding community, spending time in a
beautiful place with like-minded people and
some o f the community projects offered by
the company I’ve gone with.
“Hooking up” isn’t something that I’ve ever
been into, hut I also know women who use
the trips as places to have “no consequences”
affairs. Here’s the thing, though: W e’re wom­
en. No consequences affairs are tricky. I know
some women who are in open relationships
and use the trips as sexual playgrounds. I
know some women who are in committed re­
lationships and use the trips as a way to cheat
on their partners without getting caught.
(That rarely works, just by the way.)
A
depending
on
what
you’re
looking for, these trips have a lot to offer.
H ere’s where I try to be nonjudgmental,
high school to be for straight people. I was
overwhelmed
by the
fact
that everyone
around me was a potential mate. Just the b i­
Be honest with yourself. I f you have a
partner, talk with her. I f you’re single, be pre­
pared. Bring your safer-sex kit. G et tested.
ological truth o f that is not something most
knowing I’ll probably fail.
I f you are a married woman— either to a
L G B T people have gone through— ever.
O nce you’re there, be honest with women
you might be interested in. I f you’re looking
woman or a man— I recommend being hon­
It can make you want to hide, or to strut,
for a relationship, you might ju st find the
est with your partner up-front. Tell them
or to gather a harem. I t ’s hard to know how
love o f your life. I f you’re not, don’t pretend
you’re not happy, before you head oft to the
it will affect you until you’re in it.
that you are. You just might find what you’re
tropics to drown your misery in bumblebee
That in and o f itself is a lot to handle. Add
shots and women. I don’t advocate lying to
in alcohol (as much as you can consume at
These trips can be life altering. Rarely do
your spouse. I f you’re a woman in a miserable
all-inclusive resorts), the adventure o f great
we get the opportunity to live and work and
heterosexual marriage who is just figuring
excursions and jacuzzi tubs in the rooms, and
play in one spot with hundreds or even thou­
out that you might not be so heterosexual, it
you’ve got a recipe for severe overstimulation.
sands o f gays. Planting trees and painting
can be tricky, but if you can find a way to get
As if that weren't enough, consider the fol­
murals with developmentally disabled kids,
yourself to a lesbian vacation without lying,
lowing: All-women vacations are (get this) all
rescuing puppies and petting stingrays can
you might find the camaraderie and strength
women. That means that a fishbowl effect sets
be incredibly bonding and empowering.
to live the life you want.
in almost immediately. The air is thick with
As far as being drunken hook-up fests,
estrogen, everyone is feeling their emotions—
th at’s not the way I see these trips. There
fully. Tilings become magnified. Attractions
are plenty of women’s weekends for that sort
are powerful. Conflicts feel urgent. Drama
o f thing. 19]
If you’re a single lady looking to find some
fun, or even a mate, this is what I know:
Traveling with a pack o f lesbians in a po­
tentially exotic, foreign land can be terrifi­
looking for, too.
can ensue at the drop o f a bikini.
cally exciting, and befuddling. M ost o f us
I’ve heard that the men’s trips are very
have never spent an extended period o f time
open when it comes to sex— that a lot o f
Kristin met her am azing girlfriend at the
Dinah. Check out her writing at midleap.com.
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