OREGON S LGBTO N EW S M A G A ZIN E
The party of the year isn’t Pride. It isn’t a
gala, auction or black tie affair. It isn’t a super-
hyped birthday bash or 200 people packed into
a house for a Halloween party. It isn’t even, I’m
sad to admit, a drag show. Each year, without
fail, Portland’s can’t-miss event is Red Dress.
Undeniable, palpable anticipation spreads—
gays grill gays at the gym, on the street: D id
youfind your dress? D id you buy your ticket?
Red Dress Fever builds quickly, loudly, result
ing in epic crescendos, the likes of which strike
fear in the hearts of queer-loathing conservatives
everywhere. Pent up and trapped during long,
cold winters, we’re consumed by a yearning for
sun and skin. We invade department stores, bou
tiques, lingerie sections at giant retailers. Sum
mer’s perfect prelude, the party unfolds accord
ingly: long, satisfying, sustained release.
I haven’t always been so pro-brightly-col-
ored-drag-for-charity. I used to turn my nose
at it, apathetic when friends were interested,
refusing to compromise my unflappable mas
culinity. I’m not sure whom I thought I was
kidding. I used to believe donning anything
but pants—especially a dress—was an attack
on being a man and, somehow, me liking men.
I don’t know what generational hindrance bogs
down so many of my peers with misplaced
dress-guilt. Regardless, it’s refreshing to see it
dissipate as younger gays freely embrace gen
der-bending with wanton enthusiasm. They
realize what we were slow to: So-called societal
norms remain useless constructs.
• voices •
Lady in Red (Dress)
A PR IL 1. 2011
their apartments, only to find their fine linens
forever ruined by layers o f bronzer and glitter,
applied too eagerly by shaky hands. We com
pare gaudy hairpieces, cheap jewels and the
most brazen of handbags. We ready in groups,
refining accoutrements and, soon, an apex: the
exhilarating moment when the ensemble
comes together. Or, perhaps it doesn’t, but no
matter; soon it’s a sea o f hairy chests, wigs
askew and smeared lipstick. (And many flaw
less women.) Some look perfect, of course,
but it doesn’t much matter in diversity’s vast
expanse. W e’re all in dresses; it’s a level play
ing field.
Besides, Red Dress isn’t drag—it’s camaraderie.
Most who attend are forever converts. De
spite broken shoe straps, tom, booze-soaked
stockings, tangles of synthetic wig hair, the vast
majority will return— and begin dress shopping
long before April. And despite less open-mind
ed relatives seeing pictures on Facebook (for
those, like me, who can’t master filters), revelers
will do it all again. By the time you read this,
The Party o f the Year might be sold out. If it
isn’t, buy tickets at once. Make your friends.
Take it from a former naysayer. Should you
foolishly pass, don’t hate on fellow gays in
bright dresses.
BY DANIEL B O R G E N
I h ave n ’t alw ays been so pro-
b rig h tly-colo red -d rag -for-charity.
I used to turn my nose at it ...
refusing to co m p ro m ise my
u n flapp able m asculinity.
My first red dress experience was an exer
cise in last minute scrambling. I called my
best girlfriend, Ingrid, at the 11th hour— I
secured a ticket to the party day-of and lacked
appropriate garb. Before a long day o f fasting,
and exercising like a madman, I rushed over
to her house, tearing through her and her
then-room m ate’s sad, leftover dresses. My
first outing, I wasn’t ready to venture to malls
for the shopping public to witness my misad
ventures in female impersonation. Ingrid and
I rifled through closets, dressers, helping our
selves to her roommate’s wardrobe.
In the attic, packed in a box tucked in the
corner, we found a goldmine: her roommate’s
(very) old figure-skating number from long
past glory days, a polyester, mesh and vinyl
number adorned with thin gold piping and a
Hease support Just Out
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sequined bra outline, completed down below
with fancy lace fringe. Amazingly, it fit— and
I’d hide problem areas with socks-as-breasts
and strategic accessories. After securing a
sparkling pocketbook— which I stored in my
faux tit— I was set.
The next year, I succumbed to Red Dress
Fever. For weeks I walked aisles, conducting fit
sessions with friends who caught unflattering
moments with camera phones. Private mo
ments prancing around American Apparel in
ill-fitting numbers were circulated en masse. I
settled on a skintight racerback and discovered
the joy of Spanx. Not the male version— I un
earthed the perfect, shaping pair in a lingerie
department. Imagine that fitting, figuring out
what to tuck where and how to maneuver
through the thick black fabric during imagined
bathroom emergencies. I spied bridge and tun
nel folk— suburban shoppers—gawking, en
joying the show. The big city is always here,
helping them see what they might not other
wise witness, expanding horizons.
As Red Dress grows, tradition follows. We
plan pre-parties, after-parties, during-parties.
Friends mistakenly invite newbies over to
29 J S
The party isn’t possible without the tireless work o f
volunteers who make it all happen. To them we owe
gratitude. A nd to anyone complaining, why not vol
unteer next year? Email daniel@justout.com.
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