• feature •
OREGON'S LGBTO NEWSMAGAZINE
Even though weather.com shows our forecast
menu to consist entirely of chilled rain served
with a side of fog, wind, or worse— both, spring
is, in fact, upon us. W ith the air of renewal in the
atmosphere, I say it’s time for all of us to take a
moment to tackle cleaning out our respective
closets— not only to make room for some fabu
lous spring fashions but, c’mon, you know you’ve
been putting it off. Instead of going on one more
aimless hike, starting yet another smelly com
post heap or canning your 600th jar of jam, why
not take the time to do something truly useful
and edit that outdated wardrobe?
I don’t want to toot my own horn too much,
but when it comes to closet cleaning and organi
zation I’m somewhat of a pro. I’m very meticu
lous about my own closet’s state of affairs and
can’t stand when other people’s are not clean and
organized. Once my dear friend, Tiffany, wanted
me to help her pack for a trip to Italy, which
sounded like fun to me until we actually tried to
find clothing in her closet. There wasn’t the first
hint of rhyme or reason in there, and I could
seriously feel hives forming on my skirt when
she couldn’t even find several pieces she wanted
to take on the trip. I made Tiffany give me the
keys to her apartment then and there, and I in
formed both her and her husband, Scott, that
they would return from Europe to find immacu
lately clean and organized closets. Over the next
week I spent several hours redoing their storage
Springing Out
of the Closet
Sir Lennox Says
BY KEVIN LENNOX
spaces from top to bottom—let’s just say their
Since I can’t be there to hold all of your
lives have never been the same.
hands, be your own bad cop when it comes to
The first step in this process is to clean and purging and, most importantly, be honest with
purge. Set aside some time, roll up your sleeves yourself. You know you haven’t worn that crazy
and dive in with the mental
party dress (or even that
ity of truly trying to get rid of You know you haven’t worn crazy Red Dress party
a few of the fashion ghosts in
dress) in at least a year, and
that crazy party dress (or
your closet; In my experience
don’t try to justify holding
people usually like to have a even that crazy Red Dress
onto it because you think
friend there to help with a
one day it will be vintage
party dress) in at least a
second opinion on what to
and thus cool. That will
keep or toss. However, if you year, and don’t try to justify never happen. And those
can’t get anyone, don’t wor
skinny jeans you haven’t fit
holding onto it because
ry. About 90 percent of the
into since the turn o f the
people I have helped exorcise you think one day it will be
millennium? Guess what,
%
their fashion demons already
you’re not Cher and you
vintage and thus cool. That
know what they need to get
can’t turn back time; most
rid of before we even will never happen.
likely you’re not going to
start. The phrase I hear over
lose the at least 20 pounds
and over while trudging through the trenches is needed to look decent in them again. Instead of
“I know...”—because most of you already know trying to lose weight to ke?p a useless piece of
the things in your' closet that you don’t wear, clothing, here’s an idea: Just lose the jeans. You
wore once and never again, or bought on a total know what needs to go.
whim that has no place in your life whatsoever.
Now that the great purge portion is done, you
want to move on to the organizational sec
tion. This is always my favorite part; it makes me
happy to see clothing presented in an orderly,
color-coordinated manner. The way I approach it
is to first break the items into groups. My groups
are. pants, long-sleeve shirts, short-sleeve shirts,
long-sleeve polos, short-sleeve polos, etc. W ithin
those groups I organize each category by color
starting with the lightest, generally white, and
working d<rwn to black. Then I go to the next
category, organizing it by color as well until all of
them are done. After you’ve gone through all
your categories you should be left with an im
maculately organized paean to fashion.
Finally, once your closet is organized and
presentable, I recommend sizing up all that you
still have in your wardrobe and looking for fash
ion holes you may need to fill. Do you have that
perfect little black dress or the right dark-rinsed
jeans to go out in? Take stock of what you do
and don’t have so when you’re out shopping this
spring you make better use of your money by
purchasing things your wardrobe actually needs.
If you follow these simple instructions, I swear
you’ll save time, money and future anxiety over
what to wear.
Now that your closet is clean, check hack to learn
what spring trends you should Jill it with— or
email me fo r advance notice: kf . v in @ t h f . s t u -
DIOPDX.COM.
4
Maloy's jewelry Workshop
Band
together.
717 SW IOth Ave
Portland, OR 97205
503.223.4720
www.maloys.com
Maloy’s offers a fabulous selection o f antique and estate jewelry
and fine custom jewelry, as well as restoration and repair services.