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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (June 18, 2010)
OREGON S LESBIAN/GAY/BI/TRANS/QUEER NEWSMAGAZINE JUNE 18 2010 57 T l VOICES Pride and (Westboro Baptist Church's) Prejudice Much o f my twenties have been spent shift ing mentalities from “me” to “we.” At first it was unconscious, but in the last couple years, I’ve deliberately neglected my ego and begun nurturing my communal side. I’m a Leo, so this has been fucking hard. Looking back on previous Pride years I have to admit that, though I partook in the festivities, what I was actually celebrating wasn’t the queer community: it was pride in myself. Like many others, my coming out process was prolonged, and as 1 reached per sonal milestones, there was always something significant to celebrate. At my first Pride event, seven months af ter I first kissed a girl (and I liked it), I was proud that I finally accepted my sexuality. It’s amazing how sexually oblivious and conser vative a girl raised in the Phoenix suburbs can be— thank you, college, for being my Aladdin and showing me a whole new world. By the time Pride arrived the next year, I was proud that I found the strength to come out to my family and live openly gay. No more secrets, no more calling Victoria (my girlfriend at the time) “Victor.” The following year I was proud, frankly, o f how much sex I was having. And for my fourth Pride, I was proud to be engaged to a gorgeous redhead. Common denominator: Me, me, me and me. Many people were out celebrating the queer QUARTER- LIFE QUEERIES by Krista H o u s to u n I'm 25 /ears old and about to embark on my fifth Pride weekend. But this time around. I've grown up. I’ve swallowed my pride in order to make room for pride in something larger: this /e a r I am proud to be proud of the queer community at large. community, but not I. Not only had I not quite embraced the community, I borderline feared it. I hesitated because I saw more separation than solidarity, more drama than harmony, and I feared the stereotypes. Which brings us to today: I’m 25 years old and about to embark on my fifth Pride week end. But this time around, I’ve grown up. I’ve swallowed my pride in order to make room for pride in something larger; this year I am proud to be proud o f the queer community at large. And, o f course, there is a reason that this is the year I am ready to fully embrace it. The reason is Portland. Here I’ve seen posi tive activism, an abundance o f queer-positive resources, more gay dance nights than I have energy for and a majority o f folks more inter ested in unity than division. No doubt about it, Portland is an inspiring place to be queer— it’s a model o f how the larger world can be and 1 am proud as hell to be a part o f it. Case in point: the recent protest at Grant High School. I am proud to have watched queers and allies alike show up en masse to tell the Westboro Baptist Church that anti-gay propagandists have no place in Portland, Ore. There were whispers throughout the com munity that attending the “God Hates Fags” protest, led by Westboro Pastor Fred Phelps, would be counterproductive, that showing up to their picket would just add fuel to their fire, doing more harm than good. W hile I see the logic in this argument, I didn’t adhere to it— I’m much more idealistic than that. I attended because in my gut I knew I needed to go. I needed to feel the unity o f the queer community; I needed to be connected to something larger than myself; I needed to restore my faith in humanity. W ith life’s lack o f sunshine, literally and figuratively, with ocean-life genocide and with queer bashings popping up all over town, I desperately needed to witness something good. And th at’s exactly what that Thursday morning protest was: fucking good. Phelps and crew left only 20 minutes into it, but we stayed and celebrated—victory felt too good to leave. Signs like “I love my gay grand mas” and “God blessed me with a gay daugh ter” were just goddamn hugs for the collective heart. And the Grant High students singing “We are the W orld” on the school’s front steps was enough to make me want to become a full time equal rights activist. It was beautiful, and I was proud to be a part o f such beauty. Faith successfully restored. So for my fifth Pride weekend, I ’m not just going to embrace Pride, I’m going to make sweet, sweet love to it. I’m going to march, I’m going to (just) dance, I’m going to sing, I’m going to be prepared with a stash o f dollar bills to slip into the waistline o f my favorite drag queen— heck, I’m even going to wear cargo shorts and dig my Birkenstocks out o f the closet. M ost o f all, I’m going to revel in the “we-ness” o f it all— because that is what Pride is truly about. 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