OREGON S GAY/LESBIAN/BI/TRANS NEWSMAGAZINE
MARCH
5 2010 17
SUBMITTED
NW NEWS
Lupita M endez was a
volunteer coordinator at
PSU's Queer Resource
Center before starting
her role with Bradley
Angle, providing the
only culturally specific
dom estic violence
support services to
LGBTQ survivors in
O regon "It's been such
a struggle for LGBTQ
survivors to get support in
their lives because a lot
of p e o p le have trouble
believing that dom estic
violence can occur
outside of heterosexual
relationships." she said
with his partner, suffering brutal injuries to grateful to get this opportunity, because I
couldn’t afford counseling otherwise,” said
the face and head that persuaded a judge to
the 32-year-old participant, declining to give
issue a restraining order. “The support group
a name in case her ex-partner should read
was really, really helpful for me after nine
this story.
years of being battered,” he said. “I immedi
ately felt better when I saw two other guys at
The only physical abuse she reported was
the support group because I knew I was not
her partner’s self-inflicted hand-bone breaks
alone in this.”
from punching a wall in anger. “A big portion
Eyen female, heterosexual survivors are of the relationship was psychological, but
now that I’m outside of the relationship I see
going to experience plenty o f barriers to
how intentional a lot of it was,” she shared.
receiving help, but M endez sees value judg
ments against L,GBTQ_survivors in greater “It was a cycle of abuse.”
proportions. “Something we talk about in the
W hen Mendez posted an ad on Craigs-
support group all the time is the stigma of list last year, the anonymous 32-year-old saw
being a survivor of domestic violence in addi
an opportunity to learn some of the many
tion to the stigma of being a sexual minority,” reasons why abusers rarely reform, and vic
she said. “It doubles the stigma in a way.”
tims rarely leave abusive relationships. ^Most
Advocates often wonder why there aren’t abusers don’t want to change because that
more LGBTQ_ resources; Monika’s House
would require them owning up to the fact
in Hillsboro is the only shelter that takes
that they need to change,” she explained. “We
men in the metro area. “We haven’t had any talk about a concept called ‘traumatic bond
ing,’ so I know I’m not the only one who has
problems due to our inclusive policy,” said its
director, La Donna Burgess.
to fight contacting her again.”
According to Mendez, emotional support
Mendez hopes to offer community
rather than housing is often the biggest need. education about LG B TQ dom estic violence.
She’s applying for grants through the Equity
She also advocates for survivors by provid
ing resource referrals, legal information and
Foundation and is seeking private funding for
assistance navigating the welfare system. healthy relationships classes to ^ive people
Bradley Angle provides a variety of basic the skills to recognize abuse.
items to participants, including food, cloth
L G B T Q survivors o f domestic violence in
ing, furniture, a safe phone line and basic
toiletry items.
terested in jo in in g the support group can contact
One lesbian participant in M endez’s sup M endezs confidential phone line a t 5 0 3 -3 8 4 -
port group had feared becoming homeless if 8790 or lupitam@ bradleyangle.org For more
she left her abusive partner. “As one of the
inform ation about domestic violence w arning
ones laid off in this economy, I was really signs, v isit blogout.justout.com.
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