OREGON S GAY/LESBIAN/Bl/TRANS NEWSMAGAZINE
■ COLUMNISTS PICK
When Goy People Get
Married: Whot Happens
When Societies Legalize
Some-Sex Marriage
NOVEMBER 20. 2009
American gay and lesbian couples are
following in the footsteps of activists world­
wide to work in securing legal recognition
o f their relationships. W hat can Americans
learn from societies in which the activists
have won? Economist M.V. Lee Badgett’s
new study When Gay People Get Married:
What Happens When Societies Legalize Same-
Sex Marriage seeks to provide an answer,
reframing the marriage equality debate to
examine both sides from a data-centric,
global worldview.
Badgett, well known in academic and
literary circles as the foremost economist
concerned with GLBT issues, approaches
this study with a scientist’s precision. How­
ever, her steely gaze as an economist reveals
■ COLUMNISTS PICK
doom bo ^ o
Live Through Th is
b y Debra Gwartney
A well-written memoir doesn’t simply
offer glimpses into a writer’s soul, it fully
excavates so you utterly relate, find pieces
of yourself. There’s something special about
gleaning wisdom from another’s harrowing
real ordeals, and few books affect me the way
Live rlhrough This, Debra Gwartney’s criti­
cally acclaimed, searing memoir, did.
Live Through This touches on themes of
desperation and despair as Gwartney, an
assistant professor of English at Portland
State University, relives the slow, steady
loss of two runaway daughters. As her story
unfolds, she explores her personal culpabil­
ity; she examines precisely how she helped
drive them away and how, eventually, they
came back together. Their painful separation
resonated with me as a gay man, one locked
in perpetual struggles with distance between
loved ones and myself.
Recalling challenges she faced while
There's more to Portland's book
| kingdom than the might/ Powell's. Next
ij time you're on a word hunt, check out the
i city's smaller indie-minded retailers.
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Annie Bloom s Books
I 783d SW Capitol Hwy. 503-246-0053
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Knowledgeable staff with helpful
j recommendations, great selection, and
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jj thoughts to paper.
) Broadway Books
I 1714 NE Broadway. 503-284-1726
ij www.broadwaybooks.net
Bestsellers, children s fare, cookbooks,
j periodicals, greeting cards, and more.
i| and they'll gladly order for you what they
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j In Other Words Women's Books
j 8 NE Killingsworth St.. 503-232-6003
ii www.inotherwords.org
A long-standing nonprofit bookstore
ij with a feminist and queer bent, and a true
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j on p. 17.
{ Looking Gloss Books
|. 7983 SE 13th Ave.. 503-227-4760
j www.lookingglassbook.qwestoffice. net
writing, Gwartney hones in on
her particular family dynamic. Her
children were understandably ner­
vous about the book, though they
offered their support and blessing.
“W hen I finished the manuscript,”
she says, “I gave it to my daughters
to read and we then had several
long, difficult, loving, stressful conversations
about what was on those pages.” She adds,
“None of us could have predicted the explo­
sive intensity of the actual publication. In the
end, I’m still glad it’s in the readers’hands.”
As I read and reread Live Through This, I
drew parallels between our lives. Although
I never ran away, I empathized with the
alienation permeating the book. Her work
presents circumstances to which queers can
relate— separation from society at large, and
barriers between us and those we love.
Gwartney travels the country speaking
with readers, other parents and experts who
work with runway youth, shedding light on
the subject. “[Many] kids leave home initially
The deceptively small red-caboose
ij exterior only hints at this shop's whimsical,
j fairy-tale approach to book browsing. Say
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*»
because of their parents’ dismay,
disappointment, shock (whatever
emotion comes up) over the child’s
growing awareness of his or her
sexuality,” she says. “That wasn’t my
I
particular intolerance—the ten-
sions between my daughters and
me had more to do with going to
school, their clothing, their hair, things that
now seem superficial but at the time were
disturbing to me.”
“Other parents have trouble accepting
their children as gay,” she continues. “Intol­
erance is intolerance, though, isn’t it?”
As we pour through her prose, we see
how these breaks with family are terribly sad.
Live Through This offers hope that everyone
can find his or her way back.
Read the entire interview at www.blogout.
justout.com and read more about Gwartney and
her book at www.debragwartney.com. To hear
a segment that aired on “This American Life’
about Gwartneys daughters' experience, go to
www. tinyurl. com/gwartneyjo.
*•
y
j Laughing Horse Books
j 12 NE 10th Street. 503-236-2893
j www. myspace.
i com/laughinghorsecollective.
A worker-owned collective known for
| its leftist political thought and the guest
j speakers and groups to match: there's a
j free video library, too.
St. John's Booksellers
i 8622 N Lombard St.. 503-283-0032
www. stjohnsbooks. com
Crafts, field and hiking guides, local
= guides and more mark this unpretentious
neighborhood haunt, complete with comfy
§ sitting area.
I Wallace Books
| 7241 SE Milwaukie Ave.. 503-235-7350
Don't have a fireplace to settle in with
\ your text? They've got one at this new and
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l old house in Sellwood.
-Amanda Schurr
rid traveler.
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W H I N 3A Y ( ■ e O f ti
the very human and emotional side
and relatives along with them to
CUT M A M IC O
of marriage, and her findings are
file partnership paperwork.
often quite surprising. Particularly
One problematic aspect of
intriguing is the author’s discovery
When Gay People Get Married is
of a statistical connection between
the heavy reliance upon studies
n
rates of same-sex marriage and
of Dutch couples. In the Nether­
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the degree to which marriage is
lands, there are four legal options
«fcv. IC« »APOCTT
considered an outdated, bourgeois
for recognition of both same- and
institution. In societies in which marriage as
different-sex couples: "Just about the only
an institution is considered somewhat tacky
way a couple can avoid some degree of legal
and old-fashioned, more gay and lesbian
recognition is to live apart,” notes Badgett.
couples wed.
This is but one example of the fundamental
Badgett also explores the “symbolic vio­
differences between Dutch and American
lence” of so-called separate-but-equal mea­
society that Badgett does not satisfactorily
sures, including domestic partnership. These
address, potentially giving fuel to arguments
vignettes are some of the text’s few breaks
refuting her work.
into personal narrative, exploring the stories
Even with the caveat of context, Badgett
of numerous couples grappling with the re­
succeeds in crafting an accessible work that
alities of making their relationships official.
illuminates the complexity and urgency of
These scenes illustrate the means by which
the political and social issues of marriage.
societies reinforce a sense of second-class
Evenhanded and rigorously researched,
citizenship for gay couples, and the ingenuity
When Gay People Get M arried may be the
by which gay couples are able to subvert these
book that changes the marriage equality
efforts through things like bringing friends
debate as we know it. J S )
by M.V. L00 Bodg0tt
21
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