I 26
WWW JUSTOUT COM
NOVEMBER 6 2005
I Lust You, Mon!
“Any straight guys horny tonight? Need
to bust a nut with no strings? On your way
home from work and need to release some
stress? Looking for a cool, in shape str8 guy
who is discreet and in need of some hot, safe
fun. Don’t even need to talk—just drop by,
undress, sit back, and enjoy. Just be 20 to 50
the kind who has wife/GF at home and no
one would guess you like this too.”
Dude Sex.
I didn’t coin it, and I’ve already heard
how offensive the term is. But according to
the all-knowing Internet, that is what it’s
called when straight-identified men have sex
with other straight-identified men.
New phenomenon? It certainly wouldn’t
appear so, but Dude Sex seems to have been
brought into the mainstream by sites like
Craigslist. I lifted the above ad from the Ca
sual Encounters section. There are hundreds
of ads just like that one. Hundreds.
W hat does this behavior say about sexual
• fluidity and identity? Is it sexual repression
and internalized homophobia, as some
friends expressed when I asked this on Face-
book? Or is it possibly a step toward sexual
expression that doesn’t depend on the need
for labeling or pigeonholing an identity?
Historian and philosopher Michel Fou
cault, author of The History of Sexuality, the
orized that as a society we have produced and
overblown the idea of sexual repression. He
The Questions of Fluidity and Identity Posed by "Dude Sex
his own" attitude still wanted to find a label status get the milk for free, so to speak, and
that was something other than heterosexual. that certainly pushes people’s comfort zones.
I found this fascinating, although I was I once had a professor tell me, “If you’re not
not surprised; our civilization is hell-bent on uncomfortable, you’re not learning.”
categorizing people and defining who they
Sexual identity is not just about behavior
'?
are. If we don’t like how they identify, we or even orientation but rather how someone
make a decision for them, whether or not sees themselves in their world, their commu
by Kathiyn M artini
they agree. It’s very difficult to discuss sexual nity, their family and their own life. Identity
also believed that identifying sexual “norms” behavior without bringing up the idea of is where we fit, not what we do.
regulated sexuality by deeming anything identity because it appears that we cannot
Men having the freedom to experiment,
outside of those norms as deviant—making differentiate between the two.
explore and discover their sexuality in this
such deviancies something against which to
This is the same in mainstream culture as way, although not altogether socially accept
in the gay community, where we add a new able is, at least according to Craigslist ads,
transgress.
Are straight-identified men interested in letter of identity to our acronym so often part of the mainstream culture. Don’t we as a
engaging in sexual behavior with other men that it’s hard to keep track of what they all gay, lesbian, bi and trans community encour
because we—in both the straight and gay represent.
age this kind of sexual fluidity and want our
community—have judged this behavior so
Does this notion of “Dude Sex” upset own identities and expressions validated?
taboo? Or have we as a society evolved to things because we don’t have a letter for it?
Dude Sex is not a new idea and reaches
a place where talking about sexual fluidity Or is it more about heterosexual masculine back long before we as a society determined
is more acceptable and acting on it not as privilege?
that there was such a thing as straight or
shocking? I think it’s a mixture of both.
Straight-identified men enjoy an entitle gay sexuality; before there was assigned
When I posed the question, “What are ment not shared with gay or bisexual-identi identity, there was only behavior. By hyper
your thoughts on ‘Dude Sex’—hetero-iden- fied men, and that’s a bit troublesome; guys labeling identity based on behavior, do we
tified men having sex with other men?” on who participate in “Dude Sex” get all the get further away from or closer to a world in
my Facebook page, I was surprised at how privilege of their heterosexuality and still get which every individual is simply accepted as
many of the answers weren’t focused on the to engage in the behavior they desire. Not a person? vWl
behavior but rather on the sexual identity of fair, or does it not matter?
the men exhibiting that behavior.
It certainly matters when we live in a
Kathryn Martini is a freelance writer and
Almost every person seemed to be both world in which those whose identity is other full-time college student at Portland State Uni
ered that these men identify as straight and than heterosexual are oppressed as a margin versity, where she reads Foucault and learns
immediately wanted to point out that they alized minority. Dudes who have sex with Spanish at the same time. She can be found at
are not. Even the few who had the “to each other dudes but maintain their heterosexual www.kathrynmartini.com.
\
LIVING
- J , OUT
? LOUD
Portland 503.227.1212
Your #1 choice 24/7/365
Value and Service Finally Have a Home
0 . 694.1234
Vancouver
L r "«a
Think Outside the Box
A f> v
Ski - S im min M in i - AT - Cross Country - Append
Children's Department - Rentals - Full Service Shop
SERVING
and
BREAKFAST
LUNCH
DAILY
MON-PR! • 7AM-2PM
S a t -S u n • B a
m
:3 p m
H ie M ountain Shop has
en providing Portland
w ith outdoor gear for over 70 years.
I^et our expert staff set you up w ith all you need to
get out and enjoy the G reat Northw est
628 NE Broadway Portland, OR 97232
mountainshop.net
503.288.6768