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WWW JUSTOUT COM
2 6 SEPTEMBERS 2009
VOICES
Online. In Touch, and Out
Pondering the [Disconnections in the Age of Social Medio
In 1994, I had a computer with the very
first version of Windows and soon after was
an original subscriber to America Online.
Remember that—when you had to pay by
the hour for Internet service? It was like an
expensive means of long distance, something
else now practically archaic. I sat in front of
by Kathiyn Martini
that huge monitor, listening as my computer
dialed up; there was a shrill sound as it con­ reasons—and it’s easier now than it’s ever
nected to the vastness of the World Wide been. Today, we have constant connection
Web, the distinct voice announcing “You’ve at our fingertips. Our laptops, iPhones, and
got mail!” to my utter delight.
Blackberrys keep us perpetually linked to our
Back then it didn’t have such a fancy email, text messages, Twitter and Facebook.
name as “social networking.” People found
We know what our friends and fam­
each other via chat rooms and bulletin board ily and Twitter follows are doing at almost
threads arranged by interest subjects that ran every hour of the day; we know what their
the gamut of possibilities.
mood is, if they’ve had a fight with a friend,
At the time I was a new mother strug­ a bad dream, a death in the family or where
gling to juggle a career, home, and baby and they are going camping for the weekend.
didn’t have much outside support; I turned
I’ve heard many people in social, profes­
to the Internet for help. I spent endless sional, academic and casual settings question
(costly) hours communicating with others this kind of connectivity and wonder if it has
grappling with similar issues, and together left us in a social place where we don’t talk
we tackled them message-by-message and to each other anymore. Have we regressed
thread-by-thread. In that space, I found in our social skills to where we look at our
comfort and friendship through the lines of iPhones and don’t have conversations?
text on a computer screen.
Do we build only “virtual” relationships
Technology has advanced a lot, but what instead of actual, physical ones? Is the hand­
hasn’t changed is how people continue to written note dead, the phone call non-exis­
connect in cyberspace for multitudinous tent and the personal visit obsolete?
LIVING
OUT
LOUD
Or is it the opposite?
I have many friends on Facebook and
Twitter. Some of these friends are people I
know in real life. Some I went to high school
or college with, some are professional con­
tacts, and some are readers of my blog, or I of
theirs. Some I only met through the Internet
and have never known in person, or I’ve met
online and with whom later become friends.
Whatever the relationship, I read every
single day what is happening in their lives. I
connect, I support and I care about them as
individuals. I know when they get married,
have babies and celebrate a birthday, and I
take the time to congratulate them on their
achievements.
We share information and we share our
lives. We may do it in a “status update” or
in 140 characters or less; but we share our
lives. We interact with and embrace each
other—even if it’s on a screen and even if it’s
through written words, not spoken ones.
I’ve lived in my neighborhood for over
three years. I’ve lived in my town for 13. I
don’t know my neighbors’ birthdays and I
don’t know if they’ve lost their job or have a
death in the family. I certainly don’t know if
they’re having a bad day or some profound
thought they may be experiencing in the
middle of the night.
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I know the 600+ people on my Facebook
and Twitter better than I know who lives
across the street. Social media didn’t replace
my relationships with my neighbors; I didn’t
have them in the first place.
But how has Social Media changed the
lives of others?
@MeaganKate on Twitter says, “It has
given me every major opportunity I’ve had
since I moved back to Portland. It’s given me
friends. It’s given me confidence.”
Sarah Horner on Facebook says, “I feel
part of a loving, supportive community
and feel less isolated. My closest Facebook
friends rally around each other, lift spirits,
share ideas and reach out. It’s comforting.”
<®zen_devil_duck says, “FB has allowed
me to reconnect with old [high school]
friends and stay in touch with other friends
I’ve met through work, school or travels.”
And Donna Shands-Island reconnected on
Facebook with the woman who is now her
wife.
No human connection? I don’t think
so. 4 «
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