r « WWW JUSTOUT COM 2 6 SEPTEMBERS 2009 VOICES Online. In Touch, and Out Pondering the [Disconnections in the Age of Social Medio In 1994, I had a computer with the very first version of Windows and soon after was an original subscriber to America Online. Remember that—when you had to pay by the hour for Internet service? It was like an expensive means of long distance, something else now practically archaic. I sat in front of by Kathiyn Martini that huge monitor, listening as my computer dialed up; there was a shrill sound as it con­ reasons—and it’s easier now than it’s ever nected to the vastness of the World Wide been. Today, we have constant connection Web, the distinct voice announcing “You’ve at our fingertips. Our laptops, iPhones, and got mail!” to my utter delight. Blackberrys keep us perpetually linked to our Back then it didn’t have such a fancy email, text messages, Twitter and Facebook. name as “social networking.” People found We know what our friends and fam­ each other via chat rooms and bulletin board ily and Twitter follows are doing at almost threads arranged by interest subjects that ran every hour of the day; we know what their the gamut of possibilities. mood is, if they’ve had a fight with a friend, At the time I was a new mother strug­ a bad dream, a death in the family or where gling to juggle a career, home, and baby and they are going camping for the weekend. didn’t have much outside support; I turned I’ve heard many people in social, profes­ to the Internet for help. I spent endless sional, academic and casual settings question (costly) hours communicating with others this kind of connectivity and wonder if it has grappling with similar issues, and together left us in a social place where we don’t talk we tackled them message-by-message and to each other anymore. Have we regressed thread-by-thread. In that space, I found in our social skills to where we look at our comfort and friendship through the lines of iPhones and don’t have conversations? text on a computer screen. Do we build only “virtual” relationships Technology has advanced a lot, but what instead of actual, physical ones? Is the hand­ hasn’t changed is how people continue to written note dead, the phone call non-exis­ connect in cyberspace for multitudinous tent and the personal visit obsolete? LIVING OUT LOUD Or is it the opposite? I have many friends on Facebook and Twitter. Some of these friends are people I know in real life. Some I went to high school or college with, some are professional con­ tacts, and some are readers of my blog, or I of theirs. Some I only met through the Internet and have never known in person, or I’ve met online and with whom later become friends. Whatever the relationship, I read every single day what is happening in their lives. I connect, I support and I care about them as individuals. I know when they get married, have babies and celebrate a birthday, and I take the time to congratulate them on their achievements. We share information and we share our lives. We may do it in a “status update” or in 140 characters or less; but we share our lives. We interact with and embrace each other—even if it’s on a screen and even if it’s through written words, not spoken ones. I’ve lived in my neighborhood for over three years. I’ve lived in my town for 13. I don’t know my neighbors’ birthdays and I don’t know if they’ve lost their job or have a death in the family. 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E X IT R E A L T Y , Y O U R N E X T M O V E eaiEstateOcom I know the 600+ people on my Facebook and Twitter better than I know who lives across the street. Social media didn’t replace my relationships with my neighbors; I didn’t have them in the first place. But how has Social Media changed the lives of others? @MeaganKate on Twitter says, “It has given me every major opportunity I’ve had since I moved back to Portland. It’s given me friends. It’s given me confidence.” Sarah Horner on Facebook says, “I feel part of a loving, supportive community and feel less isolated. My closest Facebook friends rally around each other, lift spirits, share ideas and reach out. It’s comforting.” <®zen_devil_duck says, “FB has allowed me to reconnect with old [high school] friends and stay in touch with other friends I’ve met through work, school or travels.” And Donna Shands-Island reconnected on Facebook with the woman who is now her wife. No human connection? 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