NOVEMBER 21, 2008 jUStlOUt g/J??
Portland Gay Symphonic Band is a performance group
for queers and supportive friends of varying musical skill
levels with annual fall and spring concerts. Subgroups
include the Rose City Swing band and a marching band
with flag corps. Come join us! 1503-790-2170 info@
rcgfb.org. www.rcgfb.org.)
Lulu's Pervy Playhouse is a social group for self-identify-
ing women who are into S/M Play parties are held on
the second Saturday of the month. (503-231-3992. dyke-
dadi@comcast. net. www. luluspervyplayhouse org.)
Satori Men's Chorus welcomes new members of all
ages and races, regardless of sexual orientation or musi
cal background, to join Wednesday rehearsals. No audi
tion necessary. 1503-242-4244 www.satorichorus.org.)
Night in Black Leather and The Leather Duck Club
are the first and third Friday of each month at Gail's
Dirty Duck Tavern. (9 pm-midnight. 439 NW Third Ave.
503-224-8446. orleatherfrat@yahoo.com.)
General
Oregon Men Enjoying Naturism is a social organization
for gay male naturists/nudists. Social gathering second
Saturday of every month, (omenpdx@omenpdx.org.
www.omenpdx.orgj
Asian b Pacific Islander Lesbians and Gays is a non
profit community voice for gay, lesbian and bi Asian and
Pacific Islanders. Activities include potlucks, recreational
outings and cultural events. Friendly environment to meet
and connect with other API. (PO Box 12661, Portland, OR
97232. aplg j)dx@yahoo.comJ
Bad Girls is a social and educational leather and B/D/S/M
club for self-identified women with an emphasis on safety
and education. Workshops, discussions, events and
parties. Women of all orientations can connect and ask
questions during the Kinky Women's Welcoming Munch
at 7 pm every second Tuesday. 1503-972-2233. www.
pdxbadgirls.net.)
Bookwomen is a lesbian discussion group that meets
monthly to share stories, favorite authors, top 10
lists and opinions and reviews of the assigned book.
(503-684-0305. mikkata@comcast.net.)
Border Riders Motorcycle Club provides social oppor
tunities for gay men interested in recreational motorcycle
touring and promotes education on safe and legal machin
ery. (503-281-4488. brmcprei@yahoo.com.)
Cascade Flyers are gay, lesbian and bi aviators, both pri
vate and professional, in Washington, Oregon and south
ern British Columbia. Dinner meetings in Portland area.
(503-701-7922. casflyers@yahoo.com. www.geocities.
com/casflyersj
Men Over 40 is a small, socially supportive group that
meets second and fourth Thursdays. (503-777-1376.)
PDX FTM is a social group for female-to-male trans men
and their significant others, friends, families and allies.
(groups.yahoo.com/group/PDX FTM.)
The gay Pinochle Group meets Sundays at Hobo's. Come
play cards and meet the gang. New players always wel
come. (6 pm. 120 NW Third Ave. Mike 503-641-7224.)
Poder Latino is a nonprofit social community voice group
for gay, lesbian, bi and trans people that reaches out to
Latinos and Latmas by organizing events and retreats
and advocating HIV prevention. Meets every other Mon
day at Outside In. (6:30 pm. 1030 SW 13th Ave. Hugo
503-997-8615 or Audencio 503-261-5463.)
Portland Leather Alliance is one of the largest pansex-
ual, nonprofit B/D/S/M, leather and fetish lifestyle organi
zations in the Northwest. Regular social and educational
opportunities, including KinkFest, Leather Ball and Fall
Vendors Fair, (www.pdxleatheralliance.org.)
Portland Leather Men meet every second Saturday for
potluck and socializing. Meet men into a leather lifestyle
and keep abreast of leather happenings. No dues, no
formal organization, no officers or board, just leather so
cialization for the past 21 years. (360-896-6665. plm@
direcway.com.)
A Common Bond is a social support network for former
or questioning Jehovah's Witnesses who are queer, (acb-
portland@webtv.net.)
Portland Lesbian Book Club gathers monthly to chat
about a chosen book or to attend selected events.
(6:30pm third Tuesday, groups.yahoo.com/group/port-
landlesbianbookclub.)
Coqsure is a social group for people who were assigned
a female sex at birth but identify otherwise (female-to-
male, genderqueer, drag king, etc.). First Sunday meet
ings are open to partners and families of any configura
tion. (503-471-1515. groups.yahoo.com/group/coqsure.)
Portland Lesbian Network organizes brewpub visits,
golf events, hiking, kayaking, cycling, Scrabble games
and movie nights and keeps you aware of what's go
ing on in the area. (PDXLesbianNetwork-subscribe@
yahoogroups.com.)
Dungeon Men PDX hosts a men's S/M party every other
month in a Portland dungeon. Masters and novices always
welcome. (503-281-2076. bighnboy@aracnet.com.)
Portland Metro Prime Timers was established as a
social group for older gay men as well as younger men
who enjoy their company. Meetings include potluck
meals, dining out, bingo and celebrations of special occa
sions. (POBox 5884, Portland. OR 97228. 360-254-1718
or 503-286-4613. pdxprimetimers@yahoo.com. www
geocities.com/pdxprimetimers.)
F.A.G. PDX (Femme Affinity Group Portland), a radical
activist and social group open to self-identified femmes
of all genders, seeks to create solidarity among femmes,
promote femme visibility and combat femmephobia in the
community at large. Iwww.notsony.org/fagpdx.)
50+ lesbian social group for women meets on the
third Saturday of the month. (4-7 pm. 503-642-3360 or
971-216-1173. sutaytig@aol.com.)
FTM Pacific NW OR b WA is a social and discussion
group for female-to-male trans men. (groups.yahoo.com/
group/FTM PacificNWJ
Funny Ladies, a social group for nice lesbians 35 and
older as well as their friends and loved ones, holds pot
lucks on the second Saturday of each month. (flataps@
yahoo.com.)
Gay Men Who Have Lost Their Partners meets at the
West Cafe to provide an opportunity for conversation and
socializing. The death need not have occurred recently.
(7:30 pm second Wednesday. 1201 SW Jefferson St.
503-701-9376.)
Genealogy group forming. Gather with other lesbian re
searchers to trace your family tree and tackle 'brickwair
female ancestors, (famhistnw@aol.com.)
Happy Ours Productions is a grassroots group dedicated
to building the visibility, community participation and
collective leadership of lesbian women of color through
a wide vanety of social, networking, consciousness-rais
ing and action-oriented activities, events and projects.
(www.happYoursproductions.com.)
Imperial Sovereign Rose Court of Oregon is the oldest
gay, lesbian, bi and trans social/fund-raising organization
in the state of Oregon. Meetings are the first two Mon
days of each month, (www.rosecourt.org.)
Jewish Gay Men's Group—please call for meeting time
and place. (503-246-5939. efraimlevi@aol.com.)
Keshet is a social connection group for queer Jews
and their spouses, partners, significant others and good
friends, whether Jewish or not. It meets monthly for
potluck dinners and special events. (David 503-226-7079,
ext. 14, or Mike 503-331-1111J
Lesbian Garden Club welcomes women at all levels of
experience and offers two plant exchanges and four social
events annually with additional spontaneous tours A small
fee is requested for membership, which includes a quarter
ly printed calendar and an invitation to |om a private Yahoo
group. (Lormda 503-909-2002 www.lgcpdx.org.)
Lesbians with Degrees is a social group that was started
for degreed women, but no degree is necessary. Just
come and join the fun! Pool parties, Scrabble and more.
(Lam 503-233-3557 Join listserv at LesbianswDegrees-
subscribe@yahoogroups.com.)
Rainbow Eastenders is a group of active senior gay men
who meet at Rainbow Vista in Gresham to socialize, travel
and attend outings, including holiday parties, ocean cruis
es and dining out. Come make some new friends. (11 am
third Saturday. 1350 W Powell Blvd. 503-667-5575.
ian@rainbowvista.com.)
Rose City Discussion Club, the largest and oldest open
pansexual/ahemative sexuality club in the Northwest, is
open to all orientations, fetishes and lifestyles that are safe,
sane and consensual. Monthly meetings, social, workshops
and newsletter, (rcdc@teleport.com. www.rcdc.org.)
Sappho Social Club is a group of women 40 years and
older building community through social and cultural ac
tivities. (thesapphosocialclub@yahoo.com.)
Soyboys Vegetarian Men's Group is a fun, social gather
ing for gay and bi men who are interested in a healthy vege
tarian or vegan lifestyle. A variety of activities and monthly
potlucks on the last Saturday, (veggieguys@aol.comj
Tuesday Twilight Tastings meets for casual tastings of
fine wines and inspired food at West Cafe. (G-8pm third
Tuesday. 1201 SW Jefferson St. RSVP to 503-784-4807
or 503-227-8189.)
Women of the Rivers, the Portiand/Vancouver chapter of
Women on Wheels Motorcycle International, encour
ages women who love to ride to gather for good times,
support and growth in the sport through social meetings,
professional seminars, rider training and organized and
pickup rides. Monthly meetings at MacTamahan s Tap
room. (6:30 pm second Thursday. 2730 NW 31st Ave
www.womenoftherivers.org.)
Physical Recreation
Adventure Group organizes a vanety of activities year
round, including hiking, walking, cross-country and down
hill skiing, rafting and mountain biking. (POBox 2201,
Portland, OR 97208-2201 www.adventuregroup.org.)
Amazon Dragons Paddling Club invites women 16 and
older to join Portland's only out lesbian dragon boat team.
Be part of the fun and fitness with this dynamic group.
(www.amarondragons.org.)
Fits Bowling invites you to come join this fun, fnendly,
alternative league at AMF Pro 300 Lanes. (7 pm Friday
3031SE Powell Blvd. 503-234-0237J
The Forest Group outings are cooperative adventures
for women. Participants are responsible for providing
their own equipment and choosing outings appropnate
for their skill and fitness level. All skill levels welcome.
Just Out is published on the first and third Friday of every
month. The deadline for submissions is 14 day§ prior to
publication.
OutReach listings of* up to 50 words are provided free of
charge to organizations and groups specifically serving
the sexual minorities community All listings are subject
to editing, and inclusion is subject to space limitations,
relevance and receipt by deadline.
Listings expire once a year (in July), and submissions run from
the date received until the next scheduled expiration date
65
I (503-772-1860. imnoregon@comcast.net. wwwgeoci-
ties. com/ncc 1127/forestpdx.)
Gay Men's Walking Group invites gay, bi and question
ing men to stroll in vanous neighborhoods around Port
land for fun, friendship and exercise. (10 am Saturday.
Tom 503-984-4549J
'You Are My Life'
Gay Women's Golf Group welcomes all levels of players.
(www.turfgirli.comj
College student cuts off jealous girlfriend
Lesbian Equestrian Group gets together for equestrian
activities in the Pacific Northwest. (Denise 503-654-3865.
Lynn 503-777-2339. kelrav@rdrop.comj
D ear M s . B ehavior :
Out Dancing teaches dancing for same-sex couples at
Ankeny Street Studio. Classes for different dance styles
start the first Fnday of each month: country, swing, tango,
cha-cha, etc. Call for schedule. (503-236-5129. out danc-
ing@yahoo.com. home.att.net/~outdancing.)
OutKayaking, Portland's gay and lesbian sea kayak group,
explores the lakes, rivers and bays of northwest Oregon
and southwest Washington, (www.outkayaking.orgj
PDX Pride Bowling League is recruiting for fun games Fnday
nights September through April, (info@pdxpndebowl.comj
PDX NetRippers is Portland's queer soccer organization
with competitive indoor soccer, outdoor scnmmages, prac
tices for all levels and regional tournaments. (Kyle bendover-
beckham@gmail.com. www.myspace.com/netrippers.)
Portland Gay b Lesbian Bowling Association cel
ebrates 30 years with its 2007-08 season Meets Sun
days from Labor Day through Memorial Day at Hollywood
Bowl. Drop-ins welcome anytime. (3:30 pm. 4030 NE
Halsey St. Mailing address: POBox 42034, Portland,
OR 97232. 503-693-6261. pdxbowl@yahoo.com. www.
pdxbowl.com.)
Portland Gay Basketball Association welcomes all
skill levels. lgroups.yahoo.com/group/PortlandGay-
BasketballAssociation.)
Whether you're a running novice or a seasoned marathon
er, Portland Frontrunners welcomes gay, lesbian, bi and
trans people of all abilities and interests. (Gary info@port-
landfrontrunners org. www.portlandfrontrunners. orgJ
Rose City Softball Association is Oregon's largest sports
organization for the gay and lesbian community. With
open and women's divisions at all levels, RCSA plays
slow-pitch softball games on most Sundays throughout
the summer at Gordon Faber Recreational Complex in
Hillsboro. Join a team or form a new one! (4450 NW
229th Ave. membership@rosecitysoftball.org. www.
rosedtysoftball.org.)
Rosetown Ramblers, Portland's gay and lesbian square
dance club, dances at mainstream and plus levels.
(POBox 5352, Portland, OR 97228-5352. www.rose-
townramblers.com.)
Ruby Red Flippers, a group of gay and lesbian scuba divers
in the Portland area, teaches new recruits and takes dives
in Tacoma, Hood Canal and other Pacific Northwest waters.
(rubyredflippers@yahoo.com. wwwrubyredfHppers.org.)
She Rocks, a supportive rock climbing group for lesbians
18 and older, organizes year-round climbing and training
events chosen according to skill level. Monthly meetings
are held at Bagdad Pub. (6:30-7:30 pm second Thursday.
3702 SE Hawthorne Blvd, www.sherocks.wetpaint.com.)
Team Tennis meets Sundays at University of Portland.
All levels of play welcome, and the first time is free.
(8 am-noon. www teamportland-tennis, org.)
YOUTH
Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere (COLAGE)
is the only international organization specifically support
ing young people with sexual minority parents. (colage@
lmfamily.org. www.colage.orgj
Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN)
strives to assure that each member of every school com
munity is valued and respected, regardless of sexual onen
tation or gender identity/expression. (12700 SW North Da
kota St., Suite 180 * 129, Tigard. OR 97223.503-525-1177.
glsen@glsenoregon.org. www.glsenoregon.org.)
House of MOCHA (Men of Color Healthy b Aware)
is a group of gay/bi/same-gender-loving men of color
between 16 and 25 who want to engage in activities, so
cials and community events among their peers. (Kourtm
503-417-7991. www.brotobropdx.orgj
Pride Project brings together Washington County queer
and questioning youth to plan and attend monthly social
events. Also information, referral and advocacy services
in Washington County. (Mo 503-260-5792. mkenny@
cascadiabhc.org. www.myspace.com/39241130J
Sexual Minority Youth Resource Center (SMYRC)
offers support, recreation, counseling and referral to
gay, lesbian, bi and trans kids 23 and younger. Drop-in
computer access, pool tables and an informal place to
hang out. Weekly trans, leadership and art support group
meetings. (4-9 pm Wednesday, 4-11 pm Friday. 2100 SE
Belmont St. 503-872-9664. www.smyrc.orgj
Queerzone identifies and meets the needs of queer
homeless youth by providing advocacy, safety, sup
port, resources, referral and a safe place for them to
socialize and get the help they need. (6-8 pm Monday,
New Avenues for Youth, 812 SW 10th Ave. 6-8 pm
Tuesday, Outside In, 1132 SW 13th Ave. 4-11 pm
Saturday, Sexual Minority Youth Resource Center,
2100 SE Belmont St.)
Listings are automatically deleted upon expiration.-To ensure
uninterrupted listing, please submit updated information at
least a month prior to the expiration date Complete listings
are available online at wwwjustout.com.
Send listings to Just Out (attn: Calendar), P 0 Box 14400,
Portland, OR 97293 0400, Fax submissions to 503 236-
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be accepted over the phone.
Please type your announcements and include full contact
information.
My girlfriend and 1 have been dating for eight
months. We spent the entire summer living together
and even worked at the same job.
I recently started college and cannot see her or
even talk much during the week. She gets jealous
when 1 hang out with my friends; we almost broke
up over it one night. She has been OK for the past
few days but doesn’t understand why I have to cut
her off sometimes to go to sleep or go eat or enjoy the
college life. It got to the point that I had to turn the
sound off on my phone because I was afraid of her
calling in the middle of the night and waking up me
and my two roommates; it turns out she sent four text
messages and called 27 times because she never got a response.
I’m not sure what to do. I love her, but she is completely dependent on me. She doesn’t
have many other friends or much of a life. She even said once, “You are my life.” I hate
hearing that. I’d like to be myself and have fun while at college, but 1 don’t want to lose
my girlfriend or have fights every other night. Can you give me some advice?
—Tom
D ear T orn :
If you and your girlfriend spent thr summer working together, living together and
having hot monkey sex every night, you obviously shared a lot of intimacy. This intimacy
probably felt great but also set up expectations that were unsustainable, especially for a
new relationship that was about to change at the start of the school year. Did you and
your girlfriend talk, in advance, about how your daily lives would be different once you
started college?
You haven’t said whether you’re the same age. If your girlfriend hasn’t gone to col
lege, maybe she should consider it. Either way, she needs to get a life that’s as substantial
as yours, so that the relationship feels more balanced, and so that her life has meaning
beyond her connection to you.
Next time you’re together, discuss your relationship and what you each can offer. It
sounds like you may not be giving your girlfriend enough information. Be clear about your
need to spend time with friends and to focus on your schoolwork. Tell her you don’t want
to be her whole life. If you let her know about your limitations, maybe she’ll realize she
needs to have her own life, too, and she won’t behave like (or feel like) a stalker.
D ear M s . B ehavior :
My friend Terry’s boyfriend of 10 years died quickly and tragically last winter. Terry
has been a mess and has not taken good care of himself—he doesn’t eat right, drinks too
much and doesn’t sleep. He’s never done well when he was single anyway, so my partner
and 1 have been concerned.
A few weeks ago, Terry (who is nearly 40) hooked up with a 24'year-old man named
“Dakota,” who creates video games, calls Terry “Dude” and has taught our once-dignified
friend to surf and to skateboard. They don’t go to the opera or theater, which Terry likes
to do. They do seem to have fun together, and Terry is out of his slump, but my partner
and I worry about him. Dakota has his own money, but we’re afraid he’s using Terry for his
grown-up, stable lifestyle. We fear he’ll eventually get bored and hurt Terry.
Also, we found out Dakota’s real name is Daryl, which makes him seem like a phony.
Should we talk to Terry about our concerns?
—Terry's Watchdog Friends
D ear T erry ’ s W atchdog F riends :
Terry doesn’t necessarily need another opera-loving, theater-going queen to entertain
him. What he needs right now, while he’s still grieving, is the ability to return to a toler
able existence.
So what if Terry is attracted to Dakota’s free spirit and exuberance, and Dakota is at
tracted to Terry’s stability? The relationship doesn’t have to be “right” or permanent; if
Terry has fun with this skateboarding boyfriend for six months or a year, that’s probably
good enough. Even if Dakota does eventually grow bored and leave, they’ll have shared
some good times.
As for the name change that makes you suspicious, isn’t if obvious that Dakota is a
much cooler name than Daryl ? Dakota is smart enough to have figured out that Dar^l
isn’t a good name for a Surfer Dude and that he doesn’t need to be saddled with a name
that annoys him. •
M eryl C ohn is the author of Do What I Say: Ms. Behavior’s Guide to Gay and Lesbian
Etiquette. Signed copies are available directly from the author. Send questions or
correspondence to msbehavior@aol.com.