NOVEMBER 21, 2008 ¡UStlOUt g/ 5
letters
Just Out & Me
To the E ditor .-
When the wife and I moved to Portland 2 1/2
years ago, all we knew of the place was that a few
of our good friends live here, that it’s cheaper than
the Bay Area and that “rain” is the city motto. We
soon learned that Portland has a kick-ass queer
community—as varied in its membership as it is
cohesive in its struggle for equality.
A couple of months into cruising Craigslist,
I found a post for a writing gig at Just Out. I’d worked
for newspapers and magazines in the past, but never
one so community-oriented. Stepping into the job,
I got a crash course in city, county and state politics.
1 met volunteers and activists (gay and straight) who
inspired me on a daily basis. Sometimes I had the
privilege of sharing the story of someone in crisis and
watching others step up to help.
At one point, Publisher Marty Davis offered
me the opportunity to write my own column,
which I called “Out of My Mind.” So I not only got
a grand introduction to my new home, I had the
chance to process with the entire readership (any
lesbian’s dream). I wrote about the wife’s and my
domestication on Valentine’s Day, about the oft-
forgotten gay and lesbian victims of the Holocaust
and Portland’s memorial to them, about my first-
ever Pride parade and about various other topics.
Since moving on to “greener pastures” (liter
ally: 1 took a job in the environmental field), I’ve
marveled at how much the paper still affects my
daily life. Besides the lifelong friends I made among
Just Out staff, I still keep an eye on the paper and
its blog for local, national and international gay
news as well as tips on good times around town.
I’m grateful for the opportunities Just Out makes
available for all of us to get together—especially
Gay Skate. And as the wife and I continue to set
tle into Portland, we look forward to the next 25
years of meeting more of our neighbors, working
for equal rights and reading a great paper.
M alka G effen
Portland
Gone Urban
To the E ditor :
I moved to Portland from a village in the
Willamette Valley to see, I guess, if the city could
take the country out of the “boy.”
Just Out and its publisher helped me a great
deal to understand, admire and
want to be a part of the gay com
munity. The paper led me to hear
ings on gay marriage. On the day
the weddings took place, 1 went
to the front of the Multnomah
Building with a sign of strong sup
port. 1 stood next to a ranting so-
called Christian who was damning
all of the gays to hell. Later, I was
asked to join a double ceremony,
a great occasion.
The picture of me and that sign,
along with a current picture of my
partner, appeared in the May 21,
2004, issue of Just Out along with
a great story by Tom Stevenson of my long gay
history. I later received the Equity Foundation’s
Torchbearer Award for activism: a proud event
for me. Unfortunately, a medical condition has re
ally slowed this 79-year-old man and prevented his
being very active at all. The city, the attitudes of
Portlanders, the urban life and Just Out (to name but
a few) have made this former country boy into an
urban male. Thanks.
N elson
L. J ones
Portland
Local, with Content
To the E ditor :
When I came to Portland in August 1980, the
information on gay community activities was fairly
nonexistent unless you already belonged to a niche.
Finding a social circle or a bar was like the gold rush—
you followed the masses and hoped for the best. Or
you listened to everyone at work talk about the “fag
bar” they had stumbled upon over the weekend.
Try being from out of town and find a new
bar that you heard about. Your friends knew sort
of where it was, but were too drunk to remember
what street it was on. There were never brochures
or bar guides then.
The only thing I seem to remember finding was
The Bay Area Reporter. It was the only regular news
out there, and with Ronald Reagan in office, a lot of
us could not afford to go to San Francisco that much.
The local newspaper Flash! came and went. It
was more of a cosmopolitan fashion and advertising
rag than anything else. Semi-glamorous pictures of
people you recognized from Portland on the cover,
If You Like Vodka Martinis
always in black and white, and no real news to speak
of. Fun little thing, but it never caught on.
Then, while bowling one Sunday morning,
I met Renée LaChance and Jay Brown. They
were asking the bowlers what type of newspaper
they thought might be of interest to rhe Portland
community and its outlaying areas. Many people
dismissed their fellow bowlers and their ambi
tious idea, but others took a moment from their
cigarettes and beer in between their frames and
talked. And they listened.
So with very little hype, the first issue of Just Out
appeared. It was the first time I remember seeing
something local with content. You found out about
things to do in the city before it happened. And you
had addresses for the new bars and other businesses.
Just Out offices were on the third or fourth
floor downtown on Southwest Third Avenue, just
up from Dahl &. Penne’s. Renée and Jay were co
editors, putting their love and quest for success in
it. Somehow, Jay knew to be open to anyone with a
comment because that person might be the one who
provided the niche to catch the public’s eye.
Just Out was the first publication that 1 cared
enough about to write a letter to the editor.
Neither praise nor complaints—just a few sugges
tions about more of what I’d like to read about.
Well, I’m not saying they ignored me, nor did
they praise my letter. They just ran it for all to see.
However, Just Out is still around. I’d like to think
that my continued reading and caring about it has
kept it going to the 25th anniversary.
To the E ditor :
In January 2006, I was in limbo. I was single
after a yearlong relationship with my first girl
friend—the girlfriend who followed my husband
of 10 years. I was abandoned by the suburban
homemaker friends of my past and had little con
nection to the Portland lesbian community.
I found myself lonely—lost between two very
different worlds.
I didn’t want to Internet date—or date at all.
I had too much baggage, too many loose ends. 1 only
wanted a friend or two—someone to meet for coffee,
shop with or see a movie; someone who might help
me integrate into the GLBTQ community.
on Just Out personals, staring
at the computer screen and contemplating. I had
never done anything like this, but I placed an ad;
I was honest and forthcoming: “I’m looking to ex
pand my circle of friends,” I wrote.
The next day there were replies, but I only re
sponded to one—she looked kind in her photo.
We sent e-mails and decided to meet for coffee
on Martin Luther King Day 2006. Our coffee was
pleasant, and she was nice; I talked too much, as
usual. She, like me, had just ended a relationship;
she, like me, didn’t have many friends and was
looking to expand her social circle. She wasn't
interested in getting in a relationship, either. We
spent the week e-mailing and chatting online;
1 invited her to go out with me that Saturday, as
friends. Although it wasn’t a “date,” 1 felt com
pelled to buy an outfit and new perfume and to cut
and color my hair. When 1 arrived to meet her,
I slipped into the booth and looked across at her
and my heart jumped. 1 was in deep trouble.
We had vodka martinis.
Hers was dirty; mine was lemony goodness.
We left, and 1 wondered if she was having the
same feelings that were bubbling inside of me. It
turned out she did. Two months after placing that
ad in Just Out personals, Cheryl and 1 wrote an
offer on a house. We began our life together as a
couple and as a family. We had a commitment cer
emony that November, and on Feb. 16, we went
to Washington County Courthouse, registered as
domestic partners and petitioned to change our
surnames—to Martini.
M ark S ustello
K athryn M artini
Portland
Sherwood
ÓL James
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