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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 15, 2008)
AUGUST 15, 2008 juStKM, 5 letters vor and will forever be vocal about what 1 went just too annoying to Beaudoin, st) for God’s sake Survivor's Voice sorbed the local mentality that gay people are scum through. It is not easy telling my story, but it has do the noble thing and don’t be yourself. who can never be happy. Therefore, it’s not such a To the E ditor : to be shared so others will know they are not alone The story about a community member not and hopefully will free themselves from the abuse. • Everyone should just be themselves. Except sin to be political and celebrate coming out.” for people who realize that in a world full of pow It also reminds me of when a friend 10 years receiving protection from an abusive situation Love can be blind, but never should it be cruel erful homophobes, focusing on gay issues more than ago dated a guy who thought fellow gays were too by Bradley-Angle House is troubling [“Gimme or punishing. If you are in an abusive situation, straights focus on straightness might still be impor shallow and liked hanging with straights better. Shelter,” June 13]. get out! Resources are limited, but they are out tant, even if kewl kids are just like so over that. After dinner he took my friend to a straight frat As an abuse survivor, I suffered through four there. Reach out to your friends and family. Not • If you talk about being gay much, go to gay plac party where rednecks were glugging down kegs years of a relationship that should have ended the until 1 had finally kicked my abuser out of my life es or are a gay activist, this somehow takes away from and being too loud to hear each other talk. But he first time this cruel person hit me. Instead, 1 stayed did I tell my friends. They said if they had known, your ability to be defined by anything else meaningful. wasn’t t(x> gay, and that’s what’s important. with him, believing our love would overcome his they would have done everything to ensure he Gays can’t walk and chew gum simultaneously. physical and emotional abuse. was removed from my life sooner. Never believe • The best way to greet people who have come ety and identities that Beaudoin supports. 1 don’t Being in an abusive relationship is an ugly you deserve to be abused, as your abuser will try to town to nobly work to win the most important think the way to support those is to introduce new secret mostly held within ourselves, forced into to make you believe. The abuser is the ugly one. election in our lifetimes (i.e., Jacob Reitan) is to social prohibitions on those who deliberately keep believing we deserve our situation, either by our The abuser is the undeserving one. The abuser is take one quote of theirs out of context to make their own lives connected to the gay community, abusers or society’s failure to protect us. Never the one who should live in shame. My abuser may your provincial point about how annoyed you are those who rightly spend lots of time working for should anyone be denied access to removal from not have been arrested, nor does he speak or feel that some people are just too gay. equality or those who have every right to live lives a dangerous situation. The abused needs support any truth about what he truly is, but he does live and protection, while the abusers need to be ar in daily fear of being found out. rested and prosecuted for their crimes. Because I protected my abuser, he holds no responsibility for what he did. Did 1 deserve to have my ribs cracked, my nose broken, choked weeks after throat surgery, beaten T om S oppe respects and cherishes me. Saddi is loved and tity. But when Beaudoin uses his position as a gay Portland protected, as she also loves and protects us. As a newspaper’s writer to tell us to not be “profession healthy survivor, 1 am living proof that one voice al gays," it doesn’t. can make a difference. cheated on and given a lifelong STD because of Portland • • You have to have kids and not talk about The caption accompanying the Aug. 1 news brief “Just Out Dominates in ‘Papergate 2008!’ ” As a child of the apolitical (for liberals) ’90s, was erroneous. The caption should have read: which led to the rise of Bush, I’m familiar with “KOIN-TV reporter Jessica Morkert interviews Beaudoin’s viewpoint. It reminds me of .freshman Just Out Publisher Marty Davis after Davis re Pro Professional Gay year in college when an ironically butch dyke con trieved a newspaper box from the Essex House To the E ditor : descendingly declared she wasn’t attending Coming Starbucks coffee shop.” The photo was taken by Out Day because she “doesn’t let it define her.” Staff Writer Stephen Marc Beaudoin. his promiscuous behavior? No! Did my dog Saddi arrested. There is little comfort in knowing he Let’s sum up Stephen Marc Beaudoin’s Aug. 1 column [“No Pro Homo”]. ing that people will learn the truth. I am not a “victim” of his abuse. I am a survi CORRECTION being gay in public to be a gay family. Ric B errong does live within his own mental prison of worry that happen to fit stereotypes Beaudoin doesn’t like. ity any more than the level approved by Beaudoin constitutes a negatively compartmentalized iden ting my arms as I attempted to protect myself, 1 will regret, as long as I live, that he was not • Talking about gayness or working for equal Today, I am happily married to Devon, who with my camera tripod, fracturing my skull, cut deserve to be kicked? No! 1 understand and support the integrated soci I wished I’d retorted: “It is one of the important • Everyone should just be themselves. Except things that defines my experience because 1 just for people who talk about gay issues a lot. This is spent 18 years closeted in a lonely place where 1 ab Submit your letters to the editor, commitment announcements, transitions or list your events online at www.justout.com ' 'A- . ' WE SELL & INSTALL MILGARD REPLACEMENT WINDOWS ■ i . ;,Y »V.-.-.i - ? ; -5. '• ■ "t. 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