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DECEMBER ¿1. 2007
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Partnership registration fuels feelings of joy, skepticism
hy do I hear a voice saying, “Be
careful what you wish for”? I so
wanted House Bill 2007 logo into
effect next month. It is. 1 so hoped
that the gay-haters wouldn’t get
the signatures necessary to put a referendum on the
November ballot. They didn’t. So why am I even
hesitating about registering for Domestic Partnership
(capital D, capital P)? The wife and 1 have been
registered as (lowercase) domestic partners for
almost a full year now.
Was it less scary to register before because it
didn’t really mean much? Do the unknowns of
a brand new law terrify me because we won’t fully
understand it until we bump and fall and climb and
litigate our way through all of its possible
implications?
Yeah. Maybe that’s it.
Last week I was feeling a little full of myself. My
workplace finally got on hoard the domestic part
ner health benefits train. The wife can now go to
the doctor just like any of my straight co-workers’
spouses. It feels damn good. 1 started to think,
“Things are starting to look up for us homos.”
Within the same week 1 heard about a free
evening of legal advice regarding the new DP law.
I jumped at the chance to learn more about all the
gtxxl things a-comin’ our way.
And then it hit me: 1 don’t get this at all.
Are we going to have to dissolve our current
domestic partnership in order to make the new one
legit? What could happen if we don’t?
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Oregon Gov. Ted Kulongoski signed the domestic
May 9. Now what?
Can we get our $60 hack for the registration
that didn’t count?
Will we have to file joint state taxes if we regis
ter? Or can we just choose to?
Will the wife still need to adopt our child when
I have one?
What if the haters are successful in getting
a repeal of the law on the November ballot?
What good is all of this if we still have to pay
a lawyer to write up every little thing to protect
ourselves?
I learned a lot at the free evening of legal advice
hosted by Beth Allen of Allen^ Law. I was remind
ed of a few things 1 already knew, too. For example,
Out of My Mind
BY MALKA GEFFEN
the wife would indeed still need to adopt our child
(of my womb) because we will most likely travel
outside Oregon someday. (1 know, why would we
want to do that?) Say our kid has to go to the
hospital while we’re visiting friends in Alabama
(work with me here). The wife wouldn’t necessari
ly be allowed in with us.
A gixxl deal of the law regards circumstances of
partnership dissolution (as in dissolve...a word
1 associate with Alka-Seltzer, not a relationship).
Allen joked, "My suggestion: Everyone stay togeth
er.” If only life were that simple.
Even harder was all the talk about death. We
get standing for wrongful death suits. Yay! We get
rights to make burial arrangements. Woo-hoo!
1 know this is what I wanted. It doesn’t make it
easier to think about how lucky I am that I have
the right to workers’ comp benefits should the wife
he killed on the job.
So Jan. 2 is fast
approaching. 1 thought I’d
he looking forward to the
day and the prospect of
protection under the law
with pure optimism and
joy. But then I think about
the new tax filing fun we’ll
have (filling out a “dum
my” joint federal income
tax report to send in with
our joint state tax forms,
for example). Maybe it’s
the cold, cloudy days.
Maybe I just had a birth
day, which brings me
chocolate and a reminder
of mortality. But I can’t
help wanting more. 1 can’t
help hut move toward the
light of new rights with an
partnership bill
ounce of federally unrecog
nized skepticism.
And now 1 take a deep breath. I’m looking
outside from the coziness of my office at the snow
falling like confetti at a party. My heart does melt
at the thought of how hard we’ve worked for this
and how far we’ve come. We’ll attain many
important rights—some we may never have
thought to tight for and others that will change
our lives. Getting rights and responsibilities may
not be my idea of new year’s fun or romance, hut
it’s an experiment in democracy I don’t want to
miss. ©
M alka G effen has plenty of room in her head. Fill
it by e-mailing malkageffen@gmail.com.