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DECEMBER 7 2007
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The Rev. Brett Webb-Mitchell (right) raises 19-year-old Adrianne and 15-year-old Parker with the
help of his partner, Dean Blackburn.
stands fully the burden of introducing “Mom,” “Dad"
and “Dad’s partner.” Our own openness—not only
about ourselves, but our openness of spirit—can
foster the friendships that help humanize us,
instead of ostracize us.
“Change comes from living authentic lives,"
Webb-Mitchell says. “I’m still the friend, father you
knew before. You now just know more about me.
Thus I’m able to be a better friend to you in giving
a part of myself to you that I hold dear. That self
giving is an act of love. Through this authenticity
and transparency, we can build the world.”
Webb-Mitchell rebukes the condemnation of
fundamentalists who wield the Bible “like a dag
ger.” He says he thinks of the words of fellow Duke
Divinity professor Mickey Efird, who says, “If you
read the Bible one way, you have to read the entire
Bible that way.”
Webb-Mitchell continues: “It all depends on
how you understand Scripture and its place in the
context of the church. It’s a book that is alive. It
needs to be read in the context of who, to, toward
and how [in order] to understand it in this day and
age. So 1 always read it with an appreciation for
history. We now know that being gay, lesbian,
bisexual or transgender is not cultural, but part of
our genetic code. Biblical writers didn’t have that
to base their writing off of. Recent versions of the
Bible often do a disservice of the ancient texts. I’d
suggest not reading the Bible as moral absolutes but
with an appreciation for the age.”
Studies show that children raised in a house
hold headed by queer parents show no negative
effects on the well-being of the children. In fact,
the only significant difference social scientists find
is that “children of lesbian parents are more toler
ant of diversity and are more nurturing toward
younger children than children whose parents are
heterosexual.”
Children of queer households also feel freer to
explore occupations and behaviors unhampered by
traditional gender roles. In Webb-Mitchell’s fami
ly, “we have more appreciation for how we can
laugh at one another. My son can say, ‘That’s so
gay,’ and we laugh. We push the social order to
explain itself. We have a capacity to be imaginative
and creative. This leads to the ability to reimagine
the world with a certain brashness because, for so
long, we’ve had to make do with what we have."
He adds: “1 want to communicate to the world
that it’s just fine to be gay and be a parent and to be
who I am. To be a family. There’s nothing 1 have to
apologize for. I’m know I’m not the only one. How
I live my life is not a sin; how the church treats us is
the sin. 1 want to say, in so many words, ‘Get over
yourself, dear church, I’m interested in good parent
ing.’ It demands from me to be fully who 1 am. We
have to make that kind of declaration.
“This is the next step, to not only be married,
but to have kids. We have kids who are graduating
[high school].... The sequel to my book is undoubt
edly going to be on being a gay grandfather.” ©
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T he R ev . B rett W ebb -M itchell reads from
On Being a Gay Parent 7 p.m. Dec. 14 at
Southminster Presbyterian Church, 12250 S.W.
Denney Road in Beaverton, and 3 p.m. Dec. 15 at
Q Center, 69 S.E. Taylor St.
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